Abusive ex telling me I will get my kids taken off me.

[Questionqueen]

Hi all,

Come here to get some assurance and/or advice really.

My horribly abusive ex has threatened if I do not let him see my son (my son has been stopped having contact because he was really abusive in front of my son smashing my car up calling me all sorts of names, head butted me and spat in my face previously while holding my son) obviously we left the abuse and are safe at my parents house.

But here is his grounds for reporting me - previously he took me out after giving birth to my son months back, and he said to me if I did not take drugs he would not come out with me and would leave me there etc etc so he peer pressured me into it ( I know how stupid this sounds and it really is!!! But he had me under his thumb with his blackmailing and emotional abuse etc I was honestly scared what would happen if I did not take it and now I know why he made me do it) he is now saying he is going to report me for doing the drugs on a night out. He does drugs regularly and said he would happily admit to SS because he has nothing to loose. He isn't trying to get custody of our son he doesn't want it. He just wants my son put into care so I can't have him.

Now let me point out it was one time (stupid moment of madness!!) and pressured into it. I have not touched it again I don't drink smoke or anything. I dedicate my life to my wonderful children who are so looked after! And anyone could vouch for me.
It was one time and I have not touched it since. My son was no where near us until late on the following night as he stayed with family.

What do I do? He's blackmailing me has me in tears and panick attacks each night and is adamant my kids will be snatched from me and put into care 😢😢😢. My daughters father said he is on my side and will vouch for how great I am with my kids(son and daughter have different dads) we get on great he's a fantastic father.

My abusive ex (sons dad) is dangerous and controlling and abusive which is why I will not let him near my son due to DV.

I am now well away from him and staying that way but he's contacting via email.

What would happen in my case?😥

Absolutely nothing would happen as there is absolutely no evidence of your children being mistreated in any way whatsoever.

Don't even read the emails op, if he thinks he deserves access then he needs to follow the normal procedures. You won't have to attend mediation if there is a history of abuse.

Thank you, so if he does report me for this and I am 100% honest with the SS then will they definitely not take my children? All I want is to continue taking GOOD care of my children and protecting them against evil such as him!! X

@Questionqueen

No, they won't take your children from you.

i personally would report him to the police for harsssment & SS if the police aren't going to.

Stop listening/believing that this dick has any control over you or that anything he says even verges on the truth. Keep him away from your baby, keep reporting his threats.

Nothing would happen as long as you are a decent parent. Have you reported his violence to the Police? If not please do so now. I hope you and your DC are now safe from this evil man.

They would not remove children from you on the word of one person. The aim is to keep children with their family.
You're not an addict there is no evidence of you being one there is evidence of his abuse and this is just more of it. Keep photos of any messages

They would have to follow it up no doubt, speak to you check all is OK.
They may speak with Schools and nursery's, but you really have nothing to worry about.

I had something similar and it was a weight of my mind when I had spoken to them. They were actually really supportive so it may backfire when he has nothing left so threaten you with.

At the VERY worst, you could be asked to do a hair strand test which will show whether you have taken drugs in the past 3 months. Even so, they would NOT take your children away unless you had very heavy drug usage, had neglected your children or they had come to harm. A one off incident at a time when you were not responsible for your children would not result in your children being taken away from you. Report his threats.

Nursery would back me up 100% his criminal record is as long as my arm (2-3 A4 sheets worth) but again his argument isn't wanting custody it is wanting me to not have my son! Disgusting I am really scared and I don't know what to do from here with this horrible man

He is trying to blackmail you. Blackmail is illegal! Get to the police!

And no, they absolutely will not take your kids off you for that. Imagine how many people take drugs recreationally and how many have kids that are being babysat etc.

OP, please believe what you are being told, there is no danger of your children being taken away
do keep any texts or emails he sends you
I strongly suggest you contact your local domestic abuse service. You have done a GREAT job keeping yourself and your children safe from this horrible abusive man. But you would benefit from talking it over with someone who has seen this sort of thing many, many times (his behaviour is boringly typical). If they offer the Freedom programme, do it (or you can do it online) as this will help you understand why he does this stuff, and help you recognise and avoid men like him in the future.
Also you may get help in keeping him out of your lives, for example you could get a non molestation order that would ban him from coming near you and the children.

SS will view that drug taking no different to getting absolutely shit faced drunk while you didn't have your child. He was safe and being looked after. Start reporting all the threats and messages. Or go to court and get a non molestation order on him that way he can't contact you at all.

Change your email and ignore. Keep proof of all threats.

Do not engage with him at all.