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Parenting

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Ex Starting a Blended Family…

9 replies

OpalGW · 20/08/2024 18:40

Hello everyone,

Firstly, apologies for the life story that’s about to follow…

I have DS who is now 2 with my ex. We were together for four years when I got pregnant and then when I was 5 months pregnant, long story short, it came out that my ex had been sexting with a man online. He was blackmailed for £2000. Intimate pictures were sent from this man (if it really was a man) to my ex’s mum and his friends. Being five months pregnant and terrified, I stayed with him. Before this point, he’d never mentioned an interest to anyone in men.

Fast forward to my son being 8 months old and it all comes out that my ex has kissed another woman at his work, potentially touched her intimately (although he’s never admitted to this), been messaging her inappropriately and has been having an emotional affair with yet another woman at his work. He was suspended from work whilst an investigation was completed as the first woman accused him of touching her without consent. I ended the relationship. He’s now back at work as no evidence was found.

Now, he and I are in new relationships. Mine is quite new and his will be a year in October. He has told me that him and his new girlfriend are moving in together in October. His new partner has a daughter, quite a few years older than my DS.

My ex has told me that his new girlfriend doesn’t know everything about his past. I wouldn’t care because it’s her mistake to make being with him, but now that my son is involved, it’s making me uneasy. I feel as though the truth will out eventually and she might then end the relationship. Or, considering my ex’s track record, he will cheat on her. This will present confusion for DS and presumably, a house move, severing a relationship that he might build with the new girlfriend and her daughter etc. It just seems doomed to fail and I’m uncomfortable with it all.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 20/08/2024 18:42

Although I can understand your worries it’s not your place to say anything to her. All you can do is provide stability in your home.

Babadook76 · 20/08/2024 18:48

His relationships are none of your business now. Are you planning on trying to sabotage every one of his relationships until your son turns 18? This sounds like a vendetta. You don’t try and break up someone’s relationship with the excuse ‘well it’ll be easier now than if they break up later’.

OpalGW · 20/08/2024 19:18

Babadook76 · 20/08/2024 18:48

His relationships are none of your business now. Are you planning on trying to sabotage every one of his relationships until your son turns 18? This sounds like a vendetta. You don’t try and break up someone’s relationship with the excuse ‘well it’ll be easier now than if they break up later’.

Edited

I’m not planning on sabotaging any of his relationships as that wouldn’t be the best thing for my son. I also don’t understand your logic… if that was my aim, why would I stop when DS turns 18?

I’m purely concerned for my son. I see you’ve misunderstood my post.

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OpalGW · 20/08/2024 19:19

Sirzy · 20/08/2024 18:42

Although I can understand your worries it’s not your place to say anything to her. All you can do is provide stability in your home.

Thank you. You certainly make sense! It’s just difficult to wave DS off to a home that he might grow to love but is ultimately built on very rocky foundations.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 20/08/2024 19:19

I can understand your concern but honestly what he does in his time isn’t your business and you can’t control it, as frustrating as that is when you feel it’s ultimately going to fail

MintTwirl · 20/08/2024 19:24

I understand your worries but realistically all you can do is support your ds if the relationship breaks down. Your ex may have grown up, learned his lesson or met the person he is meant to be with now.

Pumpkinpie1 · 20/01/2025 12:24

Stay away from the crazy.
His mess not yours just be thankful you escaped

Pamelaaaaarrr · 20/01/2025 12:26

His new relationship and what goes on in it, is none of your business,

DaisyChain505 · 20/01/2025 12:31

As hard as it may be to not worry, respectfully his private life and relationships are none of your business now.

All you can do is focus on making your life with your son a happy one and as he gets older letting him know you’re his safe space and he can tell you anything. You don’t want him to know you think badly of his father so it keeps the line of communication about his life there open to you.

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