7 yo can never admit when wrong?

[Amberpants]

I’m at my wits end, he just can’t see that he’s ever in the wrong. He’s just been arguing with his sister and it was him that started it over nothing.

I ended up upset and said we won’t be doing what he wants to do this afternoon now. He will say sorry but only seems to say it because he thinks he will then get to go out, not because he’s actually sorry. He also says everyone makes him get angry and it’s not him it is us?

My older two had their moments but always seemed to see that they had been in the wrong once calm.

Is he can’t admit it or he doesn’t recognise it?

The Chimp Paradox book for kids maybe helpful.

I don’t even know, maybe he can’t see it. It’s been worrying me that it means there is something wrong and he is lacking empathy or something, although he loves animals etc and if we saw one hurt or something he would be upset.

It’s so hard to speak to him about it because he just gets mad. He has struggled with school anxiety and often comes home saying people have been mean but when I think about how he can behave at home he would perceive us as mean just for pulling him up on bad behavior?!

ASD children can't see when they are wrong.
Their brains don't work that way. My 10 year old Grandson will argue black is white if he thinks he's right (ASD)

Yeah I have been worried about that too, but work with children and have a fair amount of experience with ASD and I wouldn’t say it fits.

What if he does know he's wrong but gets defensive because he feels embarrassed, or somewhat hard done by? It's not a great feeling to be told you are wrong, even if you are, especially if already feeling upset.

I don't think it's unusual. Annoying, yes, but not unusual!

Could you try talking to him about it (in reference to specific incidents) at a calmer time, e.g. bedtime?

You could have been describing my youngest ds... and he was a terrible loser too..
But you know what? He's grown into a lovely young man..well thought of in our village, captain of his sport team, lovely girlfriend... and he will still argue black is white!
If you absolutely know he's in the wrong I'd just refuse to engage with him .. I used to say 'I'm not arguing with you ' and I didn't...
This too shall pass...

Ahh this is reassuring thank you!

It has also just reminded me that my 16yo DS was a terrible loser when small and would abandon board games if losing, he’s lovely now 😂

And also captain of his football team 😂

Yeah I think this is quite normal. Mine is a bit younger but pretty much the same, and really struggles to say sorry. I don't know why because I always make sure I admit when I'm wrong and say sorry but I'm hoping it will come more with age.

Not just abandon the game... He'd be absolutely furious and sweep the game across the room...
We all stopped playing with him..
As an adult he very rarely loses but tries hard to control himself if he does ...
He's a wonderful young man but goodness he was hard work as a child... would never be told anything...

how often does he see his role models graciously admit they are wrong?

This is behaviour he needs to learn. He needs to see the adults around him reacting well to realising they have made a mistake