How to stop nipple twiddling? After breastfeeding!

[SFrancis1]

Hello,
My daughter was exclusively breastfed until she was 14 months old. She self-weaned in the day but we were thrown into the deep end with stopping night feeds. I didn't realise my milk would stop whilst I was pregnant.

She is now 17 months old and I am 8 months pregnant. We have worked hard in those 3 months. She has transitioned onto formula during the night (cow milk was not filling her up enough). She wakes for 2 feeds a night and no longer dry nurses or wants to latch on.

However, she MUST twiddle my nipple to fall back asleep. I am struggling to wean her off it and now that I am nearly full term, the twiddling is stimulating some nipple leakage. Thankfully she hasn't noticed, but I really don't want it to entice her to begin nursing again.

Does anyone have any tips on how to stop the nipple twiddling? If I simply don't let her do it, she cries, constantly pulls at my top and wakes up. It can take me hours to get her back to sleep. I do all of the nighttime routines! (that is a conversation for a different day - no need to comment please)

I have tried redirecting her hand to the side of the breast. I have tried giving her something else to hold, a teddy/muslin. I have spoken to breastfeeding support organisations - they suggested agreeing on an amount of time with her that she can twiddle for…. She won't understand that yet.

Please help and tired Mama out. I am running out of time before the newborn arrives!

Oh this is tough. I suppose it is like removing any associations (dummy etc) you might have to go cold turkey and have a few days of difficulty :( it won't likely be easy!

Probably best to do before baby arrives though and will presumably be bf?

I’d get her something that feels more like a nipple than muslin. A dummy perhaps.

The only thing that ever worked for us was for dad to do the night routines so habits with mum had to stop. Cold turkey. Brutal but works in a few nights.

Let her dad do the night feeds. Take the nipples away.

Yes I think you are going to have to go cold turkey and persist with a replacement or toy. Agree with pp that my maybe her dad could take over for a few nights.

This. Take away the option. Ignore the crying. It won’t go on indefinitely. Ughh I would hate anyone using my nipple like a ring pull.

I think if you worked on dropping the night feeds so give her a bottle late so 11pm by her dad & water in the night, I don’t know why she’d actually need two night feeds? Then try to find something she can twiddle to fall off to sleep after her last bottle, maybe a rubbery toy? It could be habit for her to wake. Does she eat well during the day?

At 17m I’d be focused on stopping the night feeds altogether, at that age it’s habit not true hunger, you could feed formula before bed and again when you go to bed. You don’t want her to be still waking twice when baby comes.

Could you get her a shortwave radio? Plenty of twiddling involved and she may pick up some very interesting channels from far away places. I know I have.

Ahh my daughter did this, the second I picked her up her hand went down my top for a good rummage and twiddle. She did it whilst thumb sucking. Admittedly she didn't need it to go to sleep though. Anyway she's 12 now and doesn't do it anymore 😁 I weaned her off the thumb sucking too.

Surely at 17 months you should focus on stopping the night feeds? No way is it needed at that age

She doesn't really need night feeds. I'd send in Dad and only offer a drink of water if she's thirsty at night. You have a month before your new baby arrives - I would try and establish new patterns now. There will be a few tears but she will start sleeping more if she's not waking for feeds - which really are more about comfort now, hence the twiddling.

Kill the night feeds and send your partner in. He'll need to be on point duty for your DD1 when DC2 turns up anyway so he may as well get on with it.

Another one saying she shouldn't need milk at night now - and the idea that cow milk doesn't fill her up but formula does is an interesting theory that doesn't sound very logical..??

She is feeding out of habit and the twiddling is part of the same habit.

Cold turkey with Dad going in and absolutely DO NOT BACK DOWN. Every time you go back in, all the screaming before hand is rendered completely useless and you've subjected her to that much distress for literally no reason. If you hold off, then the distress is all valuable progress towards resetting the routine and ensuring she gets enough, good quality sleep for her future development .

Wow - didn't expect half of these responses. I asked simply about the nipple twiddling. I am not concerned about her still feeding in the night. If she needs/wants it she can have it. And that is my decision, as her mother. I know her best. I also mentioned doing the night routine alone and to please not comment on it. It is amazing how many other parents have simply ignored my requests or picked out other issues when I was asking for support on one topic. No wonder we find parenting even harder than it needs to be. Parenting is tiring, endless and at times, lonely. Yet when we reach out, it can cause more issues than started with. 👍

I think you're getting the same advice from different people as it's the right advice based on a lot of people's experience.

And no one knows a way to make the nipple fiddling stop without doing what's suggested.

So on short, based on your OP and update..

"There isn't a way to stop it I'm afraid, good luck"

I have no issues with still night feeding, I did until about 2 and have no issues with my now late teen children.

With regard to the issue, I'd go cold turkey. Wear a top that doesn't allow it and offer something else. Better to deal with it now than when baby arrives.

God I hated hated hated the nipple fiddling. All I can think of is offer a dummy to twiddle instead. Mine didn’t really need to do it & could be re directed. Fed at night until about 2, weaned at 3.

Just stop her doing it and let her cry. It will soon stop. Act now before the baby comes.

Ahhh, another post from someone asking for help to solve a problem and then getting stroppy about what the solution is. You can't fix a problem without actually changing something OP. Nobody is having a deliberate pop about you night feeding or your DP helping out at night - those are two very good solutions to your problem and that's why people are suggesting them. If you want your DD to stop nipple twiddling, then just stop her. The main 2 ways of doing that are making your DP deal with it (thereby removing the nipple), and/or you night wean (which removes the waking up, and therefore request for nipple). What else are you expecting? Yes there will be tears, but if you want to remove one of her comforts, then that's inevitable. All people are doing is suggesting ways to get you what you want

You could put on some really tight clothes but she'll probably move onto your hair or your ear or similar. Certainly nothing that's sustainable with a newborn imminent.

Ideally what you want is for her to stop twiddling anything. If she moves from your boob to your or her hair you will have all kinds of other fun so I would choose a new cuddly toy with her and put that in her hand every time she starts. But you'll have to be really firm and that will just be difficult for a few nights. It will in my experience be easier to try to change her overnight routine and teach her to self settle without milk and any associated comforts than it will to be to remove the comfort.

It's a bit like going on a diet. If you can't have a cup of tea without 2 biscuits, drink less tea. Break the habit.

Give her to dad until it's sorted.

I couldn't stand the twiddling from the off so kept a hand over the other boob. Nursing necklaces might be an option for your next one. If you don't start a habit, it'll not be a pain when it's time to stop.

My little girl does this sometimes, i just move her hand so she is holding my top instead, but like most pp have said there isn’t much you can do except take boob/nipple away completely, if you can’t get dad to take over you will have to separate yourself from her so maybe put her down in her cot with her bottle- presumably she holds it herself? Instead of having her sit with you xx

Hi there,

This may work...a boob teeething toy that feels like nipples. I have one for my baby. www.selfridges.com/GB/en/product/konges-slojdbabs-natural-rubber-teething-toy-10cm_R03999187/

Your getting up twice in the night ,to make a bottle of formula,for a17 month old child ,and she's twiddling your nipple's as she feeds ..
That must take up a lot of time ,
Soon your going to be having to feed a newborn in the night
If she wakes for her milk and your breastfeeding the new baby ,how will you manage to feed her ..one of them is going to be left crying as you can't see to them both at the same time .
Getting up in the night to regularly feed 2 children,one a newborn is going to utterly exhaust you .
Take the advice on this thread from women who know what they are talking about .before you run yourself in to the ground