Video chats with 1 year old

[Independentvariable]

I have an elderly relative (90’s) in a different country who is very lonely - my family video chat with her in a group once a week, and she always wants to see my baby for the whole chat. However, every single chat very quickly dissolves into chaos when I don’t let baby hold the phone. If she gets hold of it, the tears cease and she starts giggling. If she can’t have it, she is crying screaming and generally making it impossible to have any conversation in the group. So I usually just mute myself - but the family all want to see the baby who is just screaming.

She does the same with the TV remote. She has unfortunately already associated the lounge with telly, so we just hide the remote or spend time in a different room. But family video chat time is different, I can’t just omit the baby.

How can I teach baby not to grab or scream in this scenario? Naturally I just don’t like having phones out at all with her, but I have tried giving free rein in the hope it gets boring. When this hasn’t worked I’ve just been firm and consistent saying no. But it seems to be getting worse!

Take batteries out remote. Let baby play while you use phone? Lots of fake dc's phones etc.

I don't think you can teach a one year old not to scream or grab, because they're one. Could you give her an old phone turned off, or a fake phone to hold instead?

Its the Apple TV remote she goes for which has no batteries and an expensive fix if she soaks it in spit, but I will try it anyway and see where it gets us - we’ve tried the fakes, she loses interest within a day 🫠

Agreed, thats poor wording on my part - I know it’s normal behavior, I just want to start off on the right foot to avoid making it worse. Honestly I’m just hoping for tips and tricks to help get us through this bit whilst my elderly relative is still with us, I just want her to see happy baby as much as is possible. We’ve tried fakes and a switched off phone she’s gotten bored of them pretty quickly 😔

Do you have any old, less grabbable tech? Like maybe a pc or laptop with camera, which baby hasn't seen before, so might not think of as a toy?

I don't know if this would work technically, but if you have an IPad (or could borrow a partners phone) could you just dial in on that as well as your phone and you have one and baby has one?

Unfortunately not, the closest I have is a tablet, same issue 😥

That’s a great idea, I can try that. Maybe mute hers to avoid sound issues 🤔

Can you give her a cheap, working phone to play with?

This. Video chat through the TV as a monitor even (and in general keep the remote somewhere out of sight and inaccessible to your toddler).

Hi as for the remote I bought this for my daughter
https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B0CFB8RJYW?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title
as for the video calls I’m the same because my family lives abroad. I just let her grab the phone, it’s the only screen time she has a day so I let her have some fun. I think there might be ways to lock the screen while you’re on video calls but I still have to look into it (daughter hangs up by mistake pressing the red button 😂)