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Parenting

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Original poster

DD - 4 - has started weeing herself every day.

26 replies

FunkyGlassSocks · 16/04/2008 18:19

She was potty trained at about 2.4. We've had occasional problems when starting pre-school, when getting a cold etc.

I have no doubt that this is down to the fact I had an operation a few weeks ago. She says she doesnt know she needs to go but we are getting a couple of accidents a day.

I've tried being nice 'It doesnt matter, lets get new pants", and I've tried stickers, treats, and also being angry.

We have just agreed that if she wees herself from tomorrow we will turn off the TV/not have TV. I suggested it and she was happy with that as I really dont think she wants to do this either.

I dont know what to do. I feel really pissed off that I am picking up wet knickers all over the place, and equally upset that I may have contributed to anxiety that has started it.

Suggestions please.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

nannyL · 16/04/2008 18:27

go to dr and check for an infection

WigWamBam · 16/04/2008 18:27

Is she well in herself? Unrine infections can cause this.

I would advise being careful about punishing this or being angry. You don't want to set up problems for the future, and causing her anxiety (Mummy will shout if I do this) could make the weeing worse.

Miggsie · 16/04/2008 18:29

if she can't feel it, it is likley to be an infection...that makes you numb in that area and suddenly you are wet! Happened to me! I got SUCH a shock, thank God I was at home!
Get a wee sample and go to the doctors.

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Original poster

FunkyGlassSocks · 16/04/2008 18:48

She is fine in herself. No illness at all. Just stressed about Mummy's operation. She had a urine test for something else a while ago and there was no problem.

I know me getting angry wont help. But I also need her to know that it isnt acceptable to wet herself, laugh and then say "That's ok isnt it mummy, I'll just get new pants". If I ignore it she thinks it's ok. If I get angry she gets upset.

So what do I do?

OP posts:

Original poster

FunkyGlassSocks · 16/04/2008 19:01

I guess an infection may be the cause. Just seems quite a coincidence that she's been quite stressed. She's just been to the loo now. Froze on the spot next to the loo scared to move in case she wet herself, until I lifted her onto the loo. It's like she leaves it to the very last minute but she IS able to hold it when she knows I'm coming to help.

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 16/04/2008 19:40

The stress won't be helping. It's entirely possible that she is run down because of the stress, which has brought on a urine infection.

It's also worth bearing in mind that most urine infections don't show up on dip tests - you need a sample sending off for a culture. And one being clear a while ago doesn't mean she's clear now.

You don't have to tell her it's OK if it's clearly not - if she's laughing and saying "It's OK, mummy" then you could say something like "Well, no - you really should be weeing in the toilet. Come and help me clean it up, then we'll get you some clean pants. But try and remember that wee belongs in the toilet, not on the floor". That way you're not letting her think it's OK, but you're not getting angry with her for it.

If she was doing it on purpose there would be a reason for being cross. But unless I'm missing something, it sounds as if she can't help it, and doesn't want to be doing it. Being angry with her for that is counter-productive and can only make things worse. Trust me, we have had our fair share of this kind of problem with dd!

FunkyGlassSlipper · 16/04/2008 19:48

Thanks WigWamBam. That sounds sensible. I've never got her to help me clear it up. Perhaps that is a good idea (whilst being nice mummy )

I'll give it a couple more days and if it persists then take her to the GP.

WigWamBam · 16/04/2008 19:55

Just another thought ... is she drinking plenty during the day? Not drinking enough can lead to the urine being more concentrated, which irritates the bladder and can lead to accidents. It also reduces the amount of urine the bladder gets used to, which in turn can reduce the amount it is able to hold.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 16/04/2008 20:00

That's interesting. No she doesnt drink nearly enough. She seems to have 'gone off' water at the moment and wants apple juice. She used to drink that by the gallon but I thought it was affecting her going to the loo so we've cut it down to once a day.

I'm trying to find an alternative as she wont drink squash or ribena. She would have fruit shoots or tropicana Gos but it works out a bit expensive.

She has a sports beaker of water available all day but isnt bothered with it.

RubyRioja · 16/04/2008 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 16/04/2008 20:05

She's dry at night. Has never had a problem then (touch wood).

Back to pre-school next week and the effects of my operation are now much less obvious so hopefully the anxiety will no longer be a problem. She needs routine and often struggles with things over the holidays.

WigWamBam · 16/04/2008 20:10

It could be that she's not drinking enough then.

Would she drink water with a little apple juice in it? It might be worth a try in the short term to see if it alleviates the problem.

Surfermum · 16/04/2008 20:11

DD has had this about 3 times now, all related to an infection, but each time she hasn't been unwell with it - just had lots of accidents which wasn't like her. She is terrible at drinking enough too.

The first two times it cleared up of its own accord, but the third time she started to get a bit smelly and the doc prescribed antibiotics, and it stopped within a day of that.

I'd highly recommend getting her checked out. Oh and I felt really bad too the first time as I thought it was behavioural not medical and also resorted to being angry after trying other things, so don't feel bad about that.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 16/04/2008 20:13

I googled and I didnt realise what an effect not drinking enough could have.

She wont have diluted apple juice as "it doesnt taste right" but she had some flavoured water a while ago and like that so I might get that as a short term measure to see if it makes a difference.

DontDreamItBeIt · 16/04/2008 20:22

Wel, WWB is clearly an expert in this area. I have no thing to add to her great advice, but if it were my dd, I would try and get a sample and get it sent to be tested sooner rather than wait....it takes a few days to get result, and if she does hve an infection, you'll want it treated as soon as possible.

FWIW I've had similar problems with dd2 a few times, and it was always a stress reaction, or simply not gettig to the toilet in time.

accessorizequeen · 17/04/2008 22:06

fgs, if it's a medical problem then sounds like a solution on here which would be good BTW, I got ds drinking out of ordinary water bottles (either adult size or those weeny ones you can get like fruit shoot) he drinks LOADS more that way. I just leave them lying around and drink lots myself that way - if I ask he won't drink but will follow my example (plain water). has helped a lot as he has chronic constipation.

if anxiety as well or instead, then as you know I've gone through a similar thing for many months with ds1. Only things that work from my experience are being completely neutral about any accidents esp no anger or upset at all. And making a huge deal of successes. Basically only rewarding the good behaviour, as with anything else. My dad advised me on this as he's a pediatrician and punishment or anger was not working at all.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 18/04/2008 13:36

Thanks AQ. I am trying lots more water and lots less telling off.

2 accidents yesterday but none so far today (hope I havent jinxed it)

newgirl · 18/04/2008 13:50

this is exactly the same as my dd

she had a urine test at the doc and nothing showed up

she hardly drinks anything

so we reckon drinking more can help? is squash a good idea to encourage drinking? sugar wont create more problems will it?

DontDreamItBeIt · 18/04/2008 17:28

Drinking more always helps.

I guess squash would be better than nothing, if you can' get her drinking water, but as weak as possible. I tend to be mrore concerned about the damage the sugar will do to her teeth than the small amount of extra in her diet iyswim.

DD1 has always been a terrible drinker, but now loves water, as long as it is in a glass with ice and a straw Worh the extra fiddling about to get her to drink.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 18/04/2008 17:45

Ok, so 2 accidents since 3.00.

One in the middle of having her haircut at home (she didnt want to move in case they didnt finish cutting her hair) and the 2nd in the middle of her dinner (this is a common time - she is worried her dinner will disappear while she is gone )

SHE then reminded ME that she shouldnt have TV because she'd had an accident. Wasnt upset about it or anything, very matter of fact.

I plan to make her go to the loo before dinner every night which will hopefully prevent that one.

She's quite a mature 4 so I guess sometimes I forget she is still only very little.

accessorizequeen · 18/04/2008 22:50

DS2 nearly always has one just before or at dinner, too. Very annoying just as I'm serving up I have to deal with poo arggh. I think lots of children just forget occasionally, certainly that's the case at at the ds's nursery.
I'm having major probs getting ds1 to drink anything now, he had a sip all day until tea when I gave him diluted juice instead of water. May try straw again, he also likes the special cup with built in straw at his gm's so that's worth trying maybe, making it special for them.

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/04/2008 21:09

I hadnt thought of straws. I have some. Will try that tomorrow.

stleger · 19/04/2008 21:23

My local Lidl usually has fancy shape ice cube bags, hearts, bottles and things, If fancy 'cocktails' might help?

FunkyGlassSlipper · 19/04/2008 21:53

Thanks stleger

FunkyGlassSlipper · 23/04/2008 19:18

We've had an accident today but that follows 3 1/2 clear days. She started back at pre-school on Monday which I think helped a lot.

Still not drinking loads but today was purely a 'having too much fun to go to the loo' moment

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