2 year old and newborn soon arriving... Give me your best hacks/ tips!

[greenleaveseverywhere]

I have a beautiful toddler who has had my whole heart for 2 whole years.

Very soon a newborn will be arriving into the fold and I both excited and apprehensive.

Give me your best tips on anything- sleep, play, bonding, time management, jealousy, wellness, funny things..... I am all ears and ready to learn!!!

Don’t expect your older child to love their baby sibling immediately. Expect bad behavior, regression, attention seeking etc.
Make sure you plan 1-1 time with your older child without the baby ASAP. Even if it’s a trip to the park or cafe with dad/GP staying at home with the baby. Your firstborn will have missed you and will be worried.

To give an example I found my 4 year old sobbing in his room 3 days after we brought Dd home as he thought now the baby was here mummy wouldn’t go to his nativity play. I told him categorically that I couldn’t wait to go. Baby was dropped with loving granny, and dad and I were proud as punch in row 5 of the church hall. And then my mum and MIL went to watch it together the second day.

I did this twice (as in I have 3 kids with 2 year gaps).

My tip is concentrate on the older one.

Babies need to be safe, warm, fed, cleaned and close to a parent. Thats all.

Two year olds need so much more.

I wore my babies in didymous wraps and focused on my toddlers - I dod all I could to keep things the same in the newborn phase as they were in the last months of pregnancy.

Also buy the toddler a little present "from the baby" to give them the first time they meet the baby (in hospital if you stay in).

Do not under any circumstances leave the toddler at grandparents while your partner fetches you alone from hospital and have the first meeting between the siblings consist of them walking into a tableu of their parents gazing adoringly at the new baby - that's basically setting them up to feel replaced. Instead if possible have your partner or parents/ in-laws bring the toddler to fetch you and their sibling.

Ask grandparents and other close friends not to fuss over the baby and exclude the toddler.

This (avoiding too much focus on the newborn, who gets absolutely nothing out of it) worked really well and we had no jealousy aside from when dc2 very first walked, at which point the baby became another child/ toddler and a bit more of a rival, so there were a couple of very minor incidents (eldest pushed her closest in age little brother over a couple of times when he was first toddling and told him he was still a baby 🤣😳) but nothing major. DC2 adored dc1 (her name was his first word) and barely noticed dc3 until dc3 was about 3, when dc1 was less interested in playing with dc2 and more interested in her friends, and dc2 abruptly switched allegiance to dc3 and they're still best friends now in their mid - late teens.