Feel guilty for asking ex to pay cm

[Katie000000]

Me and my ex split up about a year ago, wasn’t amicable and wasn’t nice experience.

I am currently still living in our house with my 5 year old which is up for sale. We have done the court thing and he has our boy every other weekend Friday to Sunday and on a Wednesday for tea.

he is still paying his half of the mortgage as he wants it to be 50/50 when the house is sold.

I asked him about Maintenance and he told me he didn’t have to because he was paying half the mortgage so I went to cms to see if this was correct.

they have contacted him to say he has to pay me and he has blocked me and told me he never wants to speak to me again saying in can’t afford food now for our boy.

I am feeling guilty, should I have done thus or should have I waited till the house sold.

If the maintenance is more than the mortgage he needs to pay the difference. If not then no he doesn't have to pay. He doesn't pay the mortgage on a house he doesn't live in plus full cms.

The problem is he’s potentially right. He does have to pay CMS, but if he’s no longer living in the property and still paying the mortgage then actually that was probably more than the CMS. So you’ve shot yourself in the foot a bit if his contribution to the mortgage was higher than the CMS he was meant to pay. He doesn’t have to pay both.

@RedHelenB

is that your opinion it is it a fact? Seems to be at odds with what the cms are saying

How do you expect him to pay cms, half the mortgage and house himself?

Yes but he is getting half of those proceeds so

They are saying he has to pay, I guess he doesn’t have to pay the mortgage anymore which is fine with me, he wants the benefit of the 50/50 cut I guess

I don’t expect him to pay half the mortgage, he chose to do that so he gets 50/50

He doesn’t have to keep paying the mortgage to get his 50%. He gets that anyway.

It’s called occupational rent. If he’s moved out and you still live there then you should pay 100% as you pay your 50% and then you pay his 50% as “rent” to him for having the benefit of living there.

So he could stop paying the mortgage and pay CMS instead but he’d be paying less in CMS than mortgage.

you mean 50/50 of the house proceeds ?

so I would expect CMS as he is only paying towards the mortgage to profit himself

and of course he can afford CMS !

'can’t afford food now for our boy.' emotional blackmail !

he was able to afford to live when you were married, surely he paid 50/50 of all the bills or even more if he was the higher earner.

what he might mean is he can't afford rent - depending on where he lives and the mortgage and CMS, but CMS is only a very small proportion of what he earns !

so you may have to decide if the mortgage is higher or lower than CMS, as you may need to pay the mortgage using your CMS payment

so the sooner the house is sold the better !!!

Not paying the mortgage is unlikely to impact on the share of house sale proceeds he gets. As a PP said you can be considered to need to pay occupational rent, which effectively means paying the whole mortgage but you only benefit from half of the money you pay. If the mortgage is more then CMS you're likely better off getting him to pay the mortgage.

Yes he should pay CMS, that can be used towards the mortgage as he will still get 50/50 of the sale proceeds even if he isn't paying half currently unless in very very rare circumstances. It depends I suppose if the CMS is higher or lower than the mortgage, if the mortgage is higher I'd keep as is until the house is sold and them trigger CMS payments.

CMA don’t take any other payments into consideration so they have no bearing on mortgage.

he doesn’t have to pay the mortgage though, even to get 50:50 - unless you are paying ‘rent’ to him for his half. He could technically just move back in.

as usual, morally and legally are 2 different things