Stopping breastfeeding at 6 weeks

[beeboo92]

As the title suggests my baby is currently 6.5 weeks old and has been exclusively breastfed since birth (minus a couple of bottles of expressed milk when I've had to go for my own appointments and my partner has looked after her).
I'd like to preface this by saying I have a very long history of depression anxiety and agoraphobia and have had a year or so when it hasn't vastly affected my life.
I honestly had my heart set on breastfeeding until 6 months but after 6 weeks it's causing me to relapse with my mental health and I simply cannot do it anymore.
Most days I'm unable to even get myself ready due to the demands. I have tried my daughter on a bottle every morning for the last 3 mornings and we're able to have some 'play time' and bonding time after she's fed before she wants to have a sleep and I've been able to get myself ready and us both out. Usually she will feed on boob, go down for 10 minutes then scream for me/milk and the cycle will repeat. It makes feeding her a chore and I don't look forward to it at all. Evening times is even worse (and I now know this is common for breastfed babies but no-one tells you any of this before you start)!

My biggest fear of going on to formula is it hurting her though.
If anyone has transitioned to formula could you please advise on how you did it and how long it took? Also what milk did you go for (UK based).

Please no judgement on wanting to stop because as I said I really cannot take anymore of it.
Also solely expressing isn't really an option for similar reasons.

Why would it hurt her? Who is judging you? Honestly (and I say this as someone who breastfed too) do what you want to do and is best for your mental health. It’s fine to transition to formula if that is what you want. Unless you want to continue breastfeeding then I really wouldn’t give it another thought. If you do then there is help out there for you.

Have you had any specialist breastfeeding support to check positioning and attachment (latch)?

It sounds as though you're feeling as though she's not satisfied when you feed her on the boob rather than from the bottle?

I struggled with BF at the beginning because of tongue tie and I remember how miserable it was to be trying for hours to feed an Agitated baby, and pumping as well. Definitely at a weeks getting dressed was still a challenge.

However no after 6 months I have found BF to be so convenient. I don't miss constant bottle washing and sterilising. And they do get much better and quicker at it. Which has helped enormously in terms of getting out of the house, freedom to do stuff and adjust plans if necessary ( I have a history of depression and anxiety).

How about trying with formula for the feeds you're already doing in the bottle? That lets you off pumping and you can see how she takes to it.

But I would definitely get latch checked as I suspect it could be a game-changer for you.

A fed baby is a happy baby OP. Please take the pressure off yourself. You have done amazingly to get this far!

I stopped about the same time and the guilt was immense! I now have a healthy, smart and fabulous 6 year old and his happiness and sleep improved on formula.

I am a midwife OP and this is so common. You won’t be judged for moving onto formula and your beautiful baby won’t be harmed either x

We started transitioning to formula at 8 months. I combi fed for nearly 2 months and now DD is exclusively FF. We use Aptamil and have had no issues. I would recommend slowly introducing for both yours and baby's sakes, so replacing one feed every few days.

Well done on breastfeeding for 6 weeks, it's not easy and there's absolutely no shame in moving to bottles. Your mental health is so important.

You should stop BFing when either you or the baby no longer wants to continue and that time can be different for every Morher and Baby. I don't think anyone will judge you OP.

If you do want to stop BFing I think the current advice is to stop one feed every two weeks. This is to reduce your risk of Mastitis and to get LO used to the increased volume of milk that they will have to consume.

So it sounds as though they are already used to having a morning feed from a bottle. I'd continue like that then wait a could have week then drop another feed. If you're struggling with cluster feeding in the evenings maybe offer a bottle around 7 pm?

Then wait a couple more weeks and transition another feed? I'd be tempted to do one around 10 pm of you have a DH/DP so that they can do this feed and you can go to bed early some nights and get some sleep in.

DD (now 2.5) was never EBF as she had some top ups of formula in the hospital then bottles about once a day from DP once we were home.
However I largely BF until 6 weeks when I stopped. Like you I have a history of MH issues, although more minor than yours by the sounds of it, and BF was effecting my MH. I decided it was better for me to stop and DD to have a more relaxed and less anxious mum than for me to fight on.
She was absolutely fine and transitioned with no issues at all in terms of the mode of feeding. We moved her to aptamil initially but she actually ended up being on dairy free formula as we discovered a dairy allergy.

I absolutely broke myself mentally by insisting on bfing one of my kids when it really wasn't working for me. I did it until she was 2 and I wish I'd stopped much much sooner.
Your baby won't be hurt by formula. The choice is entirely yours OP. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for choosing to look after your own wellbeing.

Well done for 6 weeks, that's amazing!

She's had the most chunk of liquid gold breast milk to help get her off to a fantastic start.

In the UK we have access to safe means of formula and some great formulas!

Switch to combi feeding, start with a feed or two per day of formula and slowly increase.

if you engorge just pump enough off to ease the pain.

you may find your baby prefers the bottle and quite quickly doesn't want to breastfeed - quite common! or she may be happy to combi feed and you can take as long as YOU want to stop breastfeeding altogether.

I think in your position I would start by introducing a bottle a formula at a time of day where it will help you get on with your day. When you see that this bottle hasn't changed anything. You still have a beautiful baby growing and thriving introduce another bottle and go from there. It might mean over the course of a week you switch to formula feeding or it might mean that actually some formula release the pressure and you combifeed until 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 months and then switch to formula. 6 weeks is fantastic if you breastfeed for another 6 weeks or 6 days or 6 hours or minutes that will also be fantastic.
It's ok to prioritise your needs. A fed baby is the only requirement.
I breastfeed until 10 months then formula fed until 24 months. She did ok breastfeeding but thrived on formula. She had multiple allergies reacting to me eating the foods and identifying them all was just too difficult. It trashed my mental health and I stopped breastfeeding after being admitted to a mother and baby unit

My children are grown up and I only breastfed Ds1 for about 4 weeks, with Ds2 I was absolutely determined, no idea why but again I managed about 6 weeks, then did combi feeding so pumped just to relieve the tight full breast feeling but never put him back on the breast. To begin the bottle feeding Dh fed him as from me he was used to being breastfed, he had no smell or expectation from Dh. We started this on a weekend morning so Dh was available all day for 2 days solid.

And yes I consulted breastfeeding specialists when I was struggling with Ds2 and in the end for my mental health and well being I stopped. Ds was poorly, lots of issues and staying latched on was one of them. Turns out he had reflux so went onto a prescription formula at 16 weeks anyway.

You do what is best for you and your baby, formula is designed for feeding babies.

No one is judging you and if they are, they need a slap!

I found bf 0-8wks the absolute hardest, but it started to get easier after that. By 12wks the cluster feeding episodes had stopped and we had a regular feeding pattern, with every 2-3hrs during the day and 6-10hrs at night. You’re right in the trenches and at peak cluster feeding time right now, but it does get better. Baby gets better at latching and more effective at removing milk. My baby now averages 10min feeds every 3hrs during the day.

If you want to switch to formula, there is absolutely no shame in that at all. You won’t be harming your baby. These products are rigorously tested to ensure consistent standards.

Your HV, Midwife or infant feeding team will be able to help you transition with minimal disruption and discomfort.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/breastfeeding-and-bottle-feeding/bottle-feeding/combine-breast-and-bottle/

Friends who formula feed tend to really rate Kendamil and have found it easy enough to get hold of everywhere.

What you've described as breastfeeding does sound completely normal, it is very tough at the start so if it's negatively affecting your MH with your history switching to formula is completely fine.
You've done 6 weeks and that's brilliant, but formula really isn't the evil people make it out to be, it's very highly regulated and lots of research has been done to make it as close to breastmilk as possible.
Remember babies need mums who are happy and healthy too and for you if that means stopping breastfeeding then please don't feel guilty about it.

Abc if you're worried about FFing the best way to keep your baby from harm is to follow the guidance on preparing feeds.

As others have said, the manufacture of formula is tightly regulated so they all meet the sane nutritional standards, it's just a case of using one that's readily available in your area and giving that one a try.

The safest thing really is to make sure you make the bottles correctly to kill any potential bacteria in the formula.

The best thing for a baby is a happy, healthy mum. I’ve breastfed one and formula fed another, and comparing the two experiences, I will say that breastfeeding was the easiest of the two. There was no bottle cleaning, no trying to time making bottles to when feeds are needed, no packing up milk and bottles just to leave the house, no having to get out of bed to make bottles in the middle of the night.

That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t find it easier though. I would just try it for a few days as you ease into it to actually make sure it’s making life better for you before you fully commit. But yes, formula is absolutely fine and healthy for babies. You do what you need to do because your wellbeing is important, much more so than what you feed your baby. They will thrive with a mum who is thriving.

I'd like to say thank you all for your responses and the kindness you've all shown towards me.
I gave her the formula again this morning and she screamed the house down, had one of the worst poos she's ever had, was sick and would not settle all morning. This was my fear of it hurting her, that it simply won't agree with her tummy and now I don't want to try her again.
She had had some bad poos the previous mornings I have given her the formula too (just not like today) but had gone to sleep after so I didn't think any more of it.
It's so hard to know what's best. She likes feeding from me and has never lost weight, even in the days following birth she only ever lost 2oz. I just have all the problems with it and with myself that I've mentioned.

Ok book a GP appointment and explain that your mental health is nosediving rapidly but DD seems allergic to formula can you try some prescription formula.

If you don’t want to continue breastfeeding, don’t.

Speak to a HCP about both your mental health and finding an appropriate formula.

It sounds like cmpa. It would be worth speaking to your GP on Monday. Until then leave the formula off but see if you can get some time for you in between feeds I would do that. I found a bath was a good place to hide as I was close enough if really needed but I couldn't immediately jump if she was unsettled and my partner could sooth her to a degree and manage all the dirty nappies and naps.
It might also be worth talking about your mental health with them. Are you getting much support with your mental health? I had regular listening appointments with my HV and was under the perinatal team and found them to be helpful

I also stopped BFing after 6 weeks, almost instantly my anxiety stopped and began to feel myself again. My baby thrived on formula and now he's 18months no one ever asks how he was fed and it hasn't made any difference comparing him to his peers. Please do what's best for you, try different formulas and as PP said go tot GP or HV for advice.

I've got 2 children. 1 was exclusively breast fed for 6 months and 1 was formula fed from birth on kendamil organic.

Be kind to yourself 💛

I'm going to do this on Monday :) thank you

Milks are all the same due to regulation - the only difference is packaging and marketing.

She'll be fine. DC1 and I never really got to grips with breastfeeding and I reluctantly changed to formula at about 10 weeks. She was more content and thrived.
Don't feel guilty at all.

If she gives me time between feeds I will do and I'm going to ring the GP on Monday :)
I was referred to the perinatal mental health team 10 days after she was born and finally have an appointment with them on the 28th of this month but since the referral I've not spoken to a professional or had anyone to help me with my mental health. I've just been coasting along and going through the motions.

As a woman who has successfully breast fed
Your children to one year old. Do it. Stop.

Feeding a child formula is not child
Abuse. By the time the kids are 2-3-4 noone has any idea how anyone was fed and it doesn't matter even though it feels huge now.

You have done a fantastic thing and provided immunity until your baby had her jabs. Job well done. If bottle feeding allows you to
Enjoy her and be well. It is responsible parenting. Being a parent is hard and this sounds like a sensible decision that will benefit both of you.