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Should I let Ds2 go to this child's house? I have my doubts

8 replies

saltire · 16/04/2008 14:47

A child in Ds2s class turned up at the door about 9pm on Tuesday night to see if Ds2 could go for a sleepover at his house. We said no, he said "why not".
Well the reasons I have I'm not sure about. i feel I'm being judgemental.
Some of you may recall back to Januray when DS2 had some freinds round for his birthday, and one turned up very late with his older brother and the older brother said "my mum says I have to stay with X at the party as she is going out", or words to that effect. No asking me if it was ok. Anyway it's this child (the younger one).
After the party two of my neighoburs and one of the mothers of a child at the party told me soem things about the boys mum. They all told me exactly the same story, over the course of a few hours - what I mean is they weren't all huddled in a group gossiping together.

I have never met the mother,(so wouldn't let Ds2 go round there based on that) but based on the story i heard, I am not sure that I want DS2 going round there. Also the older brother - the one who invited himself to teh aprty - is the same age as DS1, and he threw a stone at the school windows and broke one of them.
That's another dilemma actually, do i tell the school who did it?
So, based on some story I have heard, am I being an unfair person to not allow my child to go this house?

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gingerninja · 16/04/2008 14:53

But you haven't met their mother, I'd say that was reason enough. Plus if it's against your instinct who cares if people think you're judging.

madamez · 16/04/2008 14:59

If you haven't met the mother then it's not unreasonable that you are reluctant to let your DS spend the night in her house. However, there is no need to tell the older brother that you have heard Bad Things about his mother, and no particular need to believe gossip either. And FWIW a child who throws a stone is hardly Osama Bin Laden, is he? Kids throw stones sometimes, it's not great behaviour but it's hardly gun-running. Do you live somewhere incredibly backward where the Terrible Things this mother has done are Dyeing Her Hair or Not Going to Church?

saltire · 16/04/2008 15:24

Madamez - where in my post did I say i was going to tell the older child what I had heard about his mum? Also you may not think that smashing a window is a big deal, but i happen to think it's vandalism. The same children i mention, plus DS1 have now been caught by the police vandalising someone elses property with graffiti, but I suppose you think that's ok as well

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hercules1 · 16/04/2008 15:27

I dont let ds go to someones house to stay the night unless we've met the parents first and of course the child. Would never agree to being asked at 9pm by the child no matter what rumours I had heard.

MrsWeasley · 16/04/2008 15:28

Personally I wouldn't because I would not feel comfortable about it and would be worried sick.

singyswife · 16/04/2008 15:30

How old is DS??? My dd 7 gets to have a sleep over with her best friend but her mum just happens to be my best friend and has been for years otherwise I would not let her have a sleep over. Especially if I had not met the mum. If the child is okay can you have him to your house?

trefusis · 16/04/2008 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

saltire · 16/04/2008 15:33

Ds2 is 8, and after the bloody carry on I have just had with DS1 and this child's brother being chased by the police he's not going anyhwere near the place thread here

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