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Struggle to take toddler anywhere

12 replies

Picklepepp · 15/08/2024 15:52

Was hoping someone might have some tips for this as really being pushed to my limits on the daily at the moment!
So I (27F) have a DD who is 5 and a DS who is 2 at the end of this month. Love them both with my whole heart, just lately have really been struggling with DS (I guess it comes with the territory given his age!). I can’t currently drive, which has never been an issue before but it obviously means when I am not with my partner I have to walk/use public transport to get anywhere. The issue I currently have however is DS hates hates hates his buggy, he just wants to be free and on the move the entire time so any restrictions he just doesn’t cope with well. I’ve tried many times to let him walk but he refuses to hold my hand, throwing himself on the ground if I ask him to, yet not holding his hand he will run of with no concept of stopping at roads yet. I have tried using reins in a last bid attempt but it results in the same reaction as trying to hold my hand. Even carrying him he hates and will kick and scream until I put him down. So I try and keep him in his buggy when we are next to roads and just have to listen to him get upset, but honestly I don’t know how he does it, he has started to manage to climb out and escape his straps (which are done as tight as they can be within reason). I’ve also tried using distractions such as toys and food, playing games etc but only works for a minute or two if it does work to begin with.

I come to Mumsnet in hope someone had a useful tip because I honestly had to carry him back from the shops this afternoon kicking and screaming with people staring but just didn’t know what to do, he wouldn’t stay in his buggy, he refused to hold my hand and he had to if he was going to walk as we were next to a busy road and I know he would of just ran off.

I feel so guilty and really bad for my DD as I feel like it’s really limiting what we are doing this summer holidays.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
givemushypeasachance · 15/08/2024 16:14

If not even 2yo yet then I'm guessing he's not really old enough yet to get the consequences and do X now for Y reward later type thing, of explaining he needs to be in the buggy for 5 mins now to get to the fun park, etc.

Just in physical practical terms of keeping him in the buggy to keep him safe - you can get "anti escape" harnesses/straps for use in car seats and buggies. I can't vouch for them but there are amazon reviews and other people may be able to chip in their experiences. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pushchair-Houdini-escapees-Escape-me-not-Journeys-Less/dp/B072J5KPTY

Anti Escape System Chest Clip Buggy Pushchair Car Seat Houdini Safety Strap to Stop Your Little escapees Taking Their arms Out of The Harness with Escape-me-not. Safer Journeys-Less Stress : Amazon.co.uk: Baby Products

Great prices on your favourite Baby brands plus free delivery and returns on eligible orders.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pushchair-Houdini-escapees-Escape-me-not-Journeys-Less/dp/B072J5KPTY?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-parenting-5142873-struggle-to-take-toddler-anywhere

shelosthertoenailatthebeach · 15/08/2024 16:22

Put him in the buggy, do up the straps, and then put a coat on him back to front. You want the straps all covered over in front. You may have to experiment a bit, and even cut some slots in the coat for the straps, but you will find a work round. Once he's in, then he can wriggle all he likes, but will be secure and safe. It seems like for ever now, but they change so fast at this stage. Before long he'll have forgotten about this, and be interested in something else!

Yourethebeerthief · 15/08/2024 18:20

You have to be more stubborn than he is. If you can manage to bodily carry him home kicking and screaming then you are stronger than he is. So put him back in the pram and strap him in again and again and again. Over and over every single time until he gets the message that mum means bloody business.

Talk to him and tell him he can run around when you get to the park but the roads are busy and dangerous so he's staying in the pram until then. Keep it simple but tell him why. Once you're at the park make a big deal of it: "You sat so well in your pram and now we're at the park, we can run around and play. Yay!" You also have to meet his needs. Toddler boys need to run and run and run a lot. Whatever you think is enough, they need more. So make sure you're giving him those opportunities to run freely where it's safe.

Toddlers have a will of iron and you simply have to be more stubborn than they are or they will run rings round you in every single way they can find.

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actualbabyshark · 15/08/2024 18:22

Would he tolerate reins? I know not everyone loves them but they might help him feel a bit of freedom!

Reugny · 15/08/2024 18:28

I honestly had to carry him back from the shops this afternoon kicking and screaming with people staring but just didn’t know what to do

Lots of people were actually looking at you and thinking I'm glad I don't have to put up with that.

The fact that you carried him back from the shops when he was having a tantrum shows you are more stubborn than him. So if he can't walk safely after exactly one chance he then goes in the buggy. Every Single Time.

Devilsmommy · 15/08/2024 18:37

Completely empathise. Mines 23 months and is exactly the same about the buggy. I think you just need to show him that he's got to have his reins on if he wants to walk and just let him scream it out. Hopefully once he realises that it's either the buggy or reins he'll go for reins because he can walk. I've been thinking of trying one of those trikes with the handle I can push with in the hope it's different to a buggy so he might enjoy it more. Good luck🤞

nextdoorconundrum · 15/08/2024 19:32

Why don't you drive if there is a car in the household ? (Obviously fair enough if epileptic or severely visually impaired) but if not then this needs to be a priority.. cannot get my head around only the 'man of the house' driving ..

Get yourself a 2 hour starter lesson .. and learner insurance on the household car .. and then PRACTICE PRACTICE with DH next to you..

Your life will be so much easier..

BurbageBrook · 15/08/2024 20:35

I know it's awful really and I'm actually usually really big on healthy eating but when my little one doesn't want to go in the buggy and we need to, a snack while on the move works wonders... something they really like which takes a while to work through.

Katherina198819 · 15/08/2024 20:35

My daughter refused to get into her buggy when she turned two.

We bought a trike and she loved it (she still does).

I think they can feel more in controll- even if you put on the setting where they can't actually move it- and it's way more fun!

BurbageBrook · 15/08/2024 20:35

And could you practice with the reins at home until he gets used to them, try to create fun or positive associations?

Picklepepp · 19/08/2024 10:07

Thank you everyone! Appreciate you taking the time to comment.
Have tried a tryke but same issue occurs. Will take a look at the anti escape clips for his buggy! Will also attempt the reins and practise with them more, but be more stubborn this time!

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