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Parenting

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Shift work and Childcare

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ThisRoseCritic · 15/08/2024 15:15

Looking for peoples experiences/advice/opinions pretty please!!

I work 13 hour(+) shifts: 4 on / 4 off and have DD(11) 2-nights/3 days every week on the 4-off so have 1-day off from work and parenting every week. The pattern is always the same and so contact is predictable and follows an 8-weeks pattern. It shifts when my time off is over a weekend so EXW always gets weekends to herself (at her request - I have not had a weekend without work or DD since the divorce 2 years ago). I'm currently sharing a flat with no spare room as EXW got the house. DD has my bedroom and I take the couch when she stays. Other house-mates are fine but can be complex with people coming and going/medical issues with one particular housemate. Hoping to move but financially can't. I pay £400p/m CSA (calculator says should be £160.

The EXW works flexi office hours, part time with WFH when she wants. She is trying to say that my having 1-day off every week is unreasonable, I should have DD for the full 4-days, 3-nights, and is now trying to force me to have DD when I am at work too. I sometimes leave the house at 0500 and often don't get back till 2100 (hours aren't predictable but days are) - EXW is suggesting I take unpaid leave as it is unfair that she has to work around my pattern. It has been the same pattern for 14+ years.

Am I being unreasonable? Should I be having DD on all my days off? EXW taking me to court to enforce this. EXW is very wealthy... I can't afford a solicitor.

Between shifts, sleeping on a couch, and constant insults, threats and abuse from EXW I'm exhausted and don't know if maybe I am being unreasonable?

Any advice or opinions VERY much appreciated!

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