Talk to me about your 6 year age-gap please

[ForgotThePlantsAgain]

We are expecting our second child and will have a 6 year age gap between the new arrival and our daughter.

For a lot of reasons (no family nearby, a pretty traumatic birth, took a while to conceive) we knew it would be a bigger gap but now it's actually happening I'm wondering what we should be considering.

I know finding activities they will both enjoy will be tricky, but I'm hoping as they get older the difference will be less stark.

Does anyone have a similar gap and any words of advice / wisdom?

I have it, it's really lovely. Older one is old enough to enjoy the little one and understand they have different needs. Old enough to help a little bit, such as make sure they don't stick fingers in plugs etc whilst I wee but still little enough to enjoy playing cars etc with them. Activity wise, older one still enjoys farms and soft play etc for themselves but also enjoys watching the little one enjoy it too. I'm really pleased I waited until my friend was at school as I get more 1 on 1 time with the baby too but enjoy them both over holidays.

I am nearly 6 years older than my DB, I completely fell in love with him when he was born! Completely besotted. I wanted to help take care of him all the time like a mini Mum!
Involve your older child in planning and choosing things for the baby. Talk about how things will be when the baby is here a lot to prepare them.
But make sure you still set aside time to have 1:1 time with the older one and remember they're still young and avoid saying stuff like "you're not a baby anymore", "you're a big girl now" etc

Thank you!!! I'm really hoping it will be a positive thing and honestly glad our daughter is pretty self sufficient and sleeps well etc so we only have to contend with the baby on that one.

Such a good point about not saying "you're not a baby" etc and involving her. We haven't started the baby's room yet so I'll definitely get her to help us pick colours etc ☺️

We welcomed our second last year and have an age gap of 6.5 years. Wasn't the plan, but like you, life! Just thankful our second happened eventually. Honestly it's been brilliant so far. We're both hands on parents who also work and it's not been too tricky to get a balance of family time and also 1:1 time for each of them. For instance it's currently the school holidays, my day off which used to be my day with the eldest is now my day with the toddler. Eldest is happy that on my day off we do stuff geared for the little one, as they know the days I take off work for the holidays are for them while toddler is at nursery. Eldest is helpful and is at the age where a toddler being silly, trumping etc is comedy gold. Likewise toddler adores their big sibling and they can make them laugh for more than dad and me. If I take the little one to a baby soft play I pick one with an area for older kids and bring a school friend, equally toddler has been happy nosing around while the eldest has a day out. I leave the toddler at home and go for a bike ride with the eldest sometimes so they still have ample opportunity to have focus just on them. I say this appreciating it can be much more difficult for those who don't have a partner or one who isn't around.

My mat leave was great - I had 1:1 time with the youngest like the eldest had during school hours but could do all school runs and do lots of play dates for the eldest or pick them up and take them for an ice cream or to the park after, so they were really happy too.

I was nervous at first but it's honestly a lovely age gap in our experience. As they get older I know it may get harder, but eldest will be at an age where they will want to be down the park or going into town on the bus not hanging around with us. Also less chance of 2 x uni fees and 2 x expensive present requests at the same time which is reassuring!

I have 3 and that's the difference between youngest and oldest. He's a brilliant big brother and she adores him. He gets annoyed when she climbs on him, but I feel that's fair!

In the mornings he and his brother "sneak" into her room to play with her, I think they get on really well.