I have a newborn and an 8 year old. My mum is pestering me daily to go up to her house and wants to know all the time what we're doing. She is very domineering and wants all my time. Texts me all the time love bombing and tells me she likes to hear my voice etc but when we do go up its 50/50 as to what mood she is in. She likes to make you feel indebted to her and like she's doing a huge favour. I try not to tell her too much private stuff because I feel like it's used against me at some stage. I crumbled the other day and said I was struggling with my older childs behaviour and think he might have ADHD to which she told me he is perfect for her. I know he isn't so she was just trying to get a reaction from me. Anyway she took him for a few hours the other day and asked him if he wanted to come home or stay at hers with my dad. He said he couldnt decide and she took that as him being difficult and challenging so drove off and left him crying at the top of the drive.
She keeps asking if she can take him away for a night with my nephew but then tells me how hard it is having the 2 of them together and if they so much as have a cross word with each other she throws an adult tantrum and they get sent to time out so I won't be letting him go.
I can't tell my mum how I feel about anything because she explodes if she thinks she is being criticised and literally loses her SH!T so it isnt worth it.
We are wanting to move house and she thinks she has a say in where we move to. I snapped at her the other day because she said her and my dad had seen a house they liked for us. I told her we'd already looked around it but my husband and son didnt like it to which she was taken back and basically said its tough and they needed to go look again. She then told me to compile a list of houses I liked and take her with me to look at them to narrow it down. I come off the phone or away from her house shaking sometimes. She is suffocating me and so entitled.
If I say the baby is unsettled she is like bring her to me I will settle her. Like she is better than me and more capable. She keeps telling me if she's awake in the night to go to her house. I wouldnt, but if I did, she'd then tell me the next day how exhausted she is. My son was very poorly when he was 2 and it was obviously scary and awful for us all. My mum ended up with breast cancer later that year and I also had an emergency hospital admission with excess water on the brain so it was a sucky year to say the least. She told me years later she thinks it was the stress of my son being ill that made her so sick.
If I say I'm tired, she is more tired. If I say I'm busy, she is more busy. She wanted to take my baby without me to meet her friends when she was 3 weeks old and couldn't understand why I said no. She turns up at my house sometimes and instantly makes my head go mushy and rushes me and creates a sense of panic. "I've come to take the baby for a few hours to give you a break" type scenario. Etc etc.
She tramples over boundaries. She brings up the past all the time but always in a way that paints her as a saint. She preaches. She competes with whatever I say. Always knows best. Always giving unsolicited advice. She is making me stressed and miserable. On top of this I have a baby who screams constantly unless I'm holding her and an older child with suspected ND and I feel like I'm drowing. Ive contacted the GP today to ask for antidepressants to help take the edge off. I'm so overwhelmed.
Can anyone relate? Offer advice? TIA.