Siblings Not Getting On

[MummyMoo2024]

I’m needing some good advice… During the summer it’s been clear to see that my daughters (8 and 12) aren’t getting on.

Two years ago we moved and to help enable new friendships I allowed plenty of sleepovers and play dates to help new friendships. This has worked amazingly but I feel it’s separated mt daughters who used to love each others company.

My oldest is joining high school next week and I get that this is the age where I will see a divide but not to the extent I’m seeing.

They are both so short tempered with each other and not interested in playing together (for most of the time).

Has anyone experienced this and what can I do to help this? My husband works away for half the year and I don’t have close family near by to help with this, it’ll just be me, not that that should matter of course.

Many thanks
Susie

Have you read Siblings Without Rivalry? That helped me when mine were arguing a lot.

No I haven’t but just ordered this, many thanks

Ummm ... siblings just are like this. Especially at "transition" ages so your eldest is changing school, making new friends and also just at onset of puberty. She probably doesn't want to play or do the same stuff as she used to. Your 8 year old doesn't get this and can't understand why her sister is changing and just needles her to play and do the same stuff.
You have to recognise that this is just normal and you need to help them reset expectations. Draw up ground rules .. no kicking or fighting or calling names. But the short tempers are to be expected at times and you may need to step in and play more yourself with the 8 year old to give the 12 year old a bit of space.
If it's any comfort my two are now good friends again at 15 and 17. It does pass !