How did you decide on godparents?

[saradcv]

DD is due to be Christened and we are deciding on godparents, how did you make the decision? Did you have family members as GP's?

We think we will do the traditional 2 female and 1 male. I have my best friend to ask and we have a great female family friend too. DH has his best friend however he isn't sure if he will be too bothered about being a GP. We'd obviously like to ask people we feel will be in DD's life in years to come.

MIL is really pushing me for us to ask SIL and her partner however I am reluctant as I know my brother (who was also one of DHs best friends before we even met) would probably like to be so don't want him feeling left out and for us the female GP's are pretty much decided.

Any opinions would be great! Tia.

Save a few for child 2. We had two men and two women. It doesn’t really matter. We had friends. My sister refused.

We picked people who are regular church-goers, have good morals and are close to us. We gave all 3 things equal weight in deciding whom to ask.

Is everyone on your 'possibles' list religious and have they all been baptised?

I wouldn't say any are particularly religious if I'm honest. SIL is probably the one who goes the most but that is only a handful of times over the year at most.

That's true. I was just trying to think of who we would ask if we have DC2 and that would be even harder

I asked people we were close to.

We don’t see them anymore.

Pick relatives!

My DS has 6.
DH sister and husband
My best friend
His best friend
Two cousins who I'm also god mother for and their parents are my godparents and mine theirs.

Picked the people who were the most religious, active in their faith, who took the spiritual role of godparent seriously and who were likely to help the children grow in faith as they got older.

We needed one Catholic and one other churchgoing Christian of any denomination per child do they were picked on that basis from amongst close friends and family.

We picked a couple each, who were close to us, saw DC regularly and always made an effort with them.

My DH did try and back someone who hadn't even met the baby, make friendship work in strange ways!

Non-Catholics can't be godparents to a Catholic child. The most they can do is be a witness to the baptism, not an actual godparent.

It's a baptism not a popularity contest. I was chosen as a godparent as I am baptised and confirmed and actively go to church.

The point of of godparent is to make sure the child is raised Christian.

I see religion mentioned nowhere in your opening post

Why are you doing it then if you aren’t religious? Do you perhaps want to encourage a Christian upbringing for your child?

I picked close friends that are Christian and had been baptised. They are your child’s spiritual guides. Personally I prefer close friends to relatives as you are extending your child’s family to include non blood relatives.

It’s a very special. I speak to my godmother almost every day via text/FaceTime. She and my late godfather were my moral compass and guides. I love them as much as my actual parents. My father died when I was quite young and they were an enormous strength then and support as I grew up.

Chosen well and with your encouragement of the relationship it can be a very special and cherished thing.

Choose Christian friends who go to church to be the Godparents. They need to be comfortable to make declarations of faith and commitment.
Other friends can be invited to the Baptism and to enjoy the lunch.

If you aren't religious why not have a naming ceremony instead?

Godparents are really important people at a christening. They will make some big promises in church to support their godchild in their Christian faith for a lifetime. For this reason, a godparent must be baptized themselves and ideally confirmed too.

If your potential godparents aren't religious it would be hypocritical to have them make promises to a God they don't believe in.

https://www.churchofengland.org/life-events/christenings/christening-faqs#na

(assuming we are talking about a C of E christening)

Please choose people who actually are Christian, attendance at church isn't as necessary but at least they must subscribe to the concept of baptism and godparents! I work for the c of e and quite frankly we are fed up with people booking baptisms then it's obvious none of the parties involved want to be in the church, they ask "do we need a bible reading?" ask for secular music rather than hymns etc and the godparents don't even say Amen!

We baptise anyone in parish but please think it through, it actually means something to us, so if you are doing it for a school place (I'm not stupid) at least fake it!

I think if you aren’t religious and aren’t planning to take her to church at least on high days, I would plan a naming ceremony instead. It can still be profound and meaningful, ie have the godparents say vows etc, but just with the religion removed (which is the whole point of a baptism.).

You can hire a celebrant to do this, it wouldn’t be any more expensive than the donation to the church.