Pregnant with partner, my son is not happy

[BaciAbbracci]

New on here..
I would like to hear any similar stories and what's your advice/ways to resolution

My story is..
I've been with my current partner for over two years, we are both in late thirties-financially and emotionally stable. I have a son from previous marriage (divorced 5 years ago) and he is 12.my current partner has no kids.

I have recently found out that I am pregnant, it came as a shock, excitement and fear at the same time. I know my partner is fond of us having kids one day, and was super excited with the news.
My boy although didn't take it well. He became resentful towards the whole relationship, towards a new baby. My son knows my partner well, we do have days out and went on a holiday together too. They get along well, have their own boy type conversations- football/technology/geography.
After the big news - me and my boy We had a few long and calm conversations and he mainly fears that his mummy will love him less. I reassured him that such thing will not happen and that he always holds a special place in mummy's world. To elevate the mood- I asked him if he is interested in helping choose baby's name and I remember him jumping out of happiness. And then we talked how he will get a chance to be a big brother etc .. he said he now felt more excited than nervous.. I thought we turned corner, but today - after getting to his dad's house he messaged me to say that he doesn't want my current partner to be his step dad and live with us for years (we currently don't live together, but with the baby on the way my boy did the math that we all end up in same household).. I told him not to worry, it's not a phone conversation and we'll speak once he's back.. my heart is sinking because I want to make sure everyone is content in this situation. My partner is a good and reasonable man, my son is a good smart kid too. I know they both wish the best for me and I want to make sure we can go through this transition as smooth as possible.
Have you been in similar situation? How you dealt with it? What's your best advice?
Reasonable/ non judgemental views are appreciated:)
Thank you

Hi, I don’t have any experience but I am facing a potential similar situation with my 14yr old DD. We live with my partner and his 5 yr old 50/50, she loves little DD but equally loves that I am her mum and DP is little’s dad.
We are currently ‘seeing what happens’ in terms of a baby between us. DP & I are excited but the girls don’t know anything about it. Some days I think my 14yr old would be fabulous other days I think it’s the worst idea because she wouldn’t like it! So no advice but I get the difficult situation you are in!

Very difficult for older kids when a child of their blended family arrives. I speak as someone who's done it. Looking back, I'm not sure I'd repeat the decision (though of course I wouldn't be without my littlest now).

Children need their parents at all ages and when a new child - which is the only child of the parent and step parent - comes along, it can unleash all manner of emotions. Even if the older ones seem excited during the pregnancy.

I was exactly the same age when my dad announced baby on way from new relationship. Such a mix of emotions. My advice is to be very patient, don’t expect him to be happy or excited about it ( at first ot consistently) and above all make time for your relationship with him 1-1. Even when baby comes a walk together or watch football or whatever he likes - every week time for you and him. Don’t expect him to just slot in with new arrangement. Bet you’ll do great!

Thank you all for taking time to reply.. I do agree that being patient and understanding is the way to go.
I remember my younger niece being born to same parents as my older one— and she didn’t take it well. She was 11at that time and at the centre of our family :) it required some time for love to blossom

I think you have to accept that this has sort of
Ambushed him and turned his world upside down. With no warning. None of us would appreciate that.

And i think you have to accept and validate his enormous feelings and just listen. Yes i understand that must feel scary. Its going to be ok. But its going to take some time and i can see why would feel this way. We will work it out together.

If you constantly try to fix, you will actually push him further away. He needs time and space to
Process. Its going to be up and down.

Step and half and blended families are just like this i am afraid. Buckle in!