Help needed! Toddler and Newborn

[MumBel22]

Help needed! I currently have a 4 wk old and a 2.5 year old! Toddler needs at least 10 mins rocking to go down for her nap but 4 wk old refuses to be put down and screams hysterically in swing/chair pram/playmat. Toddler still needs her nap however i am at my absolute witts end with it all and im really feeling like i regret having my son. Any advice welcome x

If desperate would leave newborn in a buzzing chair while watching those horrid fruit things on you tube for those ten mins if theyre not asleep

Have you got a double buggy? I used to take mine (15 months apart) out for a walk across pavements in the backstreets of Hackney, away from busy roads and noise. The repetitive rolling sent the little one to sleep. A dummy and blackout buggy cover helped too. Whenever I tried to get either/both of them to nap at home, it rarely worked. On 2 occasions (in approx 2 years) they both fell asleep whilst out in the buggy 😀 I once managed a whole coffee outside a little coffee shop whilst they slept. This was 11 years ago and I still remember the joy 😂 it meant I never got a nap myself, which I desperately needed, but hey ho. An afternoon coffee and a Reece chocolate peanut butter thingy helped me get through every afternoon.

It's a hardcore stage. You can do this 💪🏼

It's not ideal but I'd be tempted to leave the newborn too, in a safe place. Some babies do like rocking/buzzing chairs but unfortunately some do not.

Just wondering if DC1 would be better transitioning their nap to a buggy so that you could go out for a walk instead? Maybe the car?

It does sound incredibly difficult for you though.

How do they get to sleep at night?

And how are you feeling in yourself? If you're feeling down you could speak to your MW/HV or you could always call PANDAS Foundation, they're open from 8am to 10pm daily

I had 3 under 2 at 1 stage (twins) and as PP said, having heavy sugar treats is always beneficial

White noise!!

I have exactly the same age gap for my 2, now 1y and 3y.

Best advice I was given was that someone will always have the short straw when everyone wants Mummy, and baby won't remember but the toddler might so keep that in mind when you choose who to attend first!

At bedtimes e.g., we'd all pile into my bed I'd read 3yo a story and BF baby in my bed, baby would fall asleep so I'd stick white noise on then, 3yo creeps out to their room, I'd transfer baby to bassinet then join 3yo in their room for cuddles to sleep. If baby woke up crying then I'd just have to leave them until I could get back to them, knowing they were safe in the meantime.

It's a hard stage but it DOES get easier and more manageable and my 2 adore each other. 1yo first word was 3yo name 🥰

2.5 is old to be rocked to sleep (i had one that used to have to be rocked to sleep it was a nightmare)
Double buggies are worth their weight in gold and then some.
Do you drive? That can help sometimes but not safe if you are severely sleep deprived.
I used to push the newborn to sleep in pram in living room.
Would that work for one or both of them in a pram or buggy?
I used to sit my toddler in Front of the tv until newborn was asleep then get him to sleep
But yes it's a really really relentless stage. It will pass!!!!!

Time to adjust the toddler napping props. In 6 month you won't be lifting her surely??.

When doing solo bedtime I used to put newborn in a dark room with one of those galaxy projector things on. Would keep her quiet for 10/15 mins while getting older DD to bed

Try laying the baby down and turning on the hoover, worked for all of mine at that age. Then take toddler to another room to rock to sleep. 4 weeks is tough it will get easier x

Instead of rocking to sleep can you cuddle toddler to sleep? What are they sleeping in?
Mine was still in my bed when DS2 born and I was carrying him to his room asleep so changed it to lying down and cuddling him in his single bed with bed guard.

Will older one sleep in car? We do this almost every day for naps!

Triedddddd😩😩 nothing will work! He is relentless! Hoping for a better day today

Did you have a better day OP?

started off a lovely morn then he cried from 6-9😩😩 seems like colic to me?? Any suggestions ❤️

Have u looked up the witching hour? With my first he cried none stop from 6pm you could set your watch by it. Only things that worked was going outside in the fresh air, white noise LOUD, and endless patience and endless coffee. It's bloody hard work xx

I never had nap times with my 4 I was led by them if their not tired they won't sleep. I don't remember them napping at 2.5 years.

It's hard... I have a two and half year old and a 7 weeks old (who also often gets tummy aches).

I would give up rocking. I just put my toddler to bed when it's nap time; half of the time, she falls asleep by herself. If not, I tell her it's "quiet time," and she stays in her room where she can play (with the door open and I'm in the next room with the baby).

It's difficult, as she gets cranky if she doesn't nap, but I also can not put my baby down every time when she needs it. She also passed out a few times downstairs while watching tv in the afternoon, so I'm sure that they go down if they really need it.

I had a one year old and a two year old when I left my husband.. Unfortunately he vanished from the kids lives and never helped in raising them.. To help make our lives easier I raised them as though they were twins meaning when one ate the other ate and when one slept the other slept etc..

Nap time was the same time every day.. I would even nap with them.. Wake up and do a nappy change for both, feed both together, bath both together.. Sometimes my oldest would get jealous of her younger sibling so I’d make it like a game.. I would talk to her about how small he is and how big she was and how she was so big and strong and could do so much without mummies and I’m so proud but now baby needs time to learn all these big things and she can help teach him.. I would involve her with nappy changes, dressing, feeding and even rocking him to sleep while she sits in my lap.. She was a proud big sister and it made life a breeze..

she grew up to being a kind, loving and nurturing young woman and her and her brother have kept that close bond and I couldn’t be prouder.

Try to put a routine in place, get lots of rest when you can, remember that they grow up so quickly and this stage won’t last forever, try to focus on the good and the positive as much as you can, ask for help if you need to, if you’re able to take them for a little drive before bedtime if they’re a bit restless..

My two would have a bath after dinner and after I packed up and did the dishes.. They’d get in their pjs with their robes and grab a favourite toy and sometimes a warm bottle of milk each and we’d go on a little 20 minute drive on a quiet road.. By the time we were home I’d put them in bed.. Till now they ask to go for a night drive and they’re 17 and 18..