4 Year old scared!

[LittleRayOfSunshine61]

Hello you lovely lot!

So, my 4 year old little.girl is absolutely terrified of everything. We take her places, Butlins, abroad, parks, soft play like literally everywhere. She won't go on slides or swings. She won't go off and play. She won't do anything. She just clings to us. Unless there is water and she will swim and play and jump in totally fine. Or if there's Trampolines, she will bounce till she can't physically bounce anymore. But anything "fun" she won't do. We've tried to convince her, we've showed her there's nothing to be scared of, we've asked her what she's scared of and she can't answer us. But if we force it she loves it and then goes on by herself just fine. It's really frustrating at times. Has anyone else gone through the same? Have they out grown it? Has it gotten worse? I just want her to be a kid and have lots of fun. I just feel like she's missing out all the time. She is a very happy child and loves to be creative and draw and make things and loves people just petrified of everything.

I feel your pain, my DS1 was pretty much the same at that age, he is 6 now and has become a lot more confident. Although still struggles to play on his own, and takes time to warm up in certain environments.

We basically tackled it by encouraging (but not forcing) him to do things he was afraid of, and giving loads of positive reinforcement when he did. Reward him with small treats if he tried something new.

We also signed him up for a martial arts class to help him build confidence. We went through weeks of him screaming when we dropped him off, but now he happily trots in and waves goodbye.

It's done him a world of good to see that he doesn't to be constantly attached to us, and to be in an environment where everyone is learning a skill together, making mistakes and to just keep practicing.

I think offering opportunities but gracefully accepting your child's reluctance helps them long term to trust that you have their back.
Most clingy kids do grow out of it.
Don't force or shame them. Activities that foster self confidence and esteem are a good idea.
I think it's never helpful to compare your own shy child to other more confident kids.