DS is 2y2m, and I'm not sure if this is normal or something to be concerned about.
For context he is in nursery 5 day a week; DH & I use flexible start/finish times to make the days a bit shorter for DS (I start early, DH starts later) so from 8.30-4.30 most days.
So as not to dripfeed, DH has ADHD, & I am on a waiting list for an ADS assessment so neurodiversity is a distinct possibility but also conscious of not armchair diagnosing.
Nursery have been raising concerns about his behaviour - pulling hair and kicking, staff & other children - no obvious triggers apparently. It has escalated recently - although DS was bitten by other children two days in a row a few weeks ago, so I do wonder if the increase is due to that (although conscious not to make excuses, I do want to tackle the behaviour).
I think DS's speech is a little behind - maybe average - but certainly behind his comprehension, which I think may also cause frustration and he often uses gestures / noises rather than words, although he is getting better at finding the words recently.
We have some books at home about kind hands and feet are not for kicking, which we are reading together regularly. Conversations about being kind and turn taking, sharing etc. If DS pulls our hair or kicks us, we firmly say "no, that hurts/that makes mummy sad, we don't pull hair/kick", and we move away from him & stop playing so he can't do it again until he is gentle.
Nursery room leader spoke to me this afternoon about it all for a while (DS was present). We got home & he's been quite up and down - tears because I suggested the wrong book, for example. We've then had a pretty hellish bedtime - lots of tears, alternating between inconsolable crying and trying to pull my hair, before finally accepting a cuddle & going to sleep.
I can't work out what is normal 2yo tantrums / boundary pushing, & whether I should be worried. Or what else I can do.
I have considered reducing my hours at work (& therefore DS's hours at nursery) but I'm still in my probation period at my job. I'd probably have to find another job as I think its unlikely a request would be agreed at current workplace. I'm also worried it won't help, or will even make things worse as its a change to routine?