Toddler life - help!

[introvertmum101]

I am realised that I do not enjoy toddlers. This is my first child and it's exhausting. He is energetic and wants to be into everything and I love the bones of him for it, I love his passion for life and his personality.

But I by nature am someone who likes a quiet introvert life. I have medium energy levels in general, much prefer to be doing something relaxing and creative. I enjoy peaceful activities and my toddler has no peace 😂

He's not yet at the age I can bring him into my activities really. It becomes a giant mess and I get so overstimulated from the mess and clear up. I hate screen time yet find myself turning to it often. I find myself counting down the hours until nap or bedtime and I hate myself for it.

Please just tell me it gets easier

He's not yet at the age I can bring him into my activities really.

^

Like what?

It does.... eventually x could you get him interested in craft stuff you can do together??? Play doh, painting, maybe reading a book?? Sign up for the library, they have lots of good books for little ones. They might do activities too c

How old is he? Mess and energy are kind of unavoidable, and trying to contain and restrain too much is not ideal.

Do you get any time away from childcare apart from when he is asleep?

I confess I have got happier and happier as DSs have gone through primary school. I found preschoolers hard work. I worked FT and it saved my sanity. Now (unless they’re bickering) I relish all the time I spend with them. And that’s ok, I never didn’t love them and different people deal differently with different ages. Other people will miss tiny kids .

I'm pretty much the same op, although I've come to terms with the fact that time with my toddler has to be focussed on him, no point trying to do my own thing with him in tow. We've had some quite fun days recently.

That's a nice helpful comment thank you

Toddlers are hard work! Mine were really active, like yours. The good news is that it does get easier.

Can you take him to organised activities (eg swimming classes, tumble tots, little kickers etc) to tire him out a bit?

Yes working definitely helps. We do lots of stuff together but I find myself so drained at the end of it. I'm looking forward to not having to stop him killing himself every 30 seconds

Honestly, no it doesn't get easier. Mine are 3 & 5.

I like to play hide and seek a lot because I can sit on the sofa for 5 minutes occasionally saying "where are they" out loud whilst they hide behind the door quietly giggling.

This is a bit sad to me but not uncommon. Your toddler is exactly who he should be so try to find ways to nurture him and get your rest when he's in bed or eating! There is some evidence based screen guidance by the WHO. Have you read the book you wish your parents had read? It's really good.

It gets easier in that one day he'll just ring you a few times a year, probably asking for money and visit you for the holidays😄

You "love the bones of him" but can't be arsed to play with him at his level? Being an introvert is nothing to do with it, so please don't use that as an excuse for poor parenting.

Toddlers are hard and some day you need screens to preserve your sanity. My toddler is also the variety that likes to try and hurt himself 40 times an hour by climbing on places he shouldn't be , he also has the energy levels of 100 duracell bunnies. You just have to get through it the best you can

I didn't say I can't be arsed 😂 I said I find it tiring. We do stuff all the time but it's hard. Jeez, get a life and stop commenting on peoples posts who are just asking for a bit of support

Yeah we do activities regularly, his nursery is also fantastic, we are very fortunate to be able to afford somewhere that offers a range of different things with lots of outdoors time.
I think it's particularly hard because he's still in the run off in any direction phase. So all activities come with so many additional things to think about which is tiring

OP, think about lots of activities that will wear him out, so he is quieter in the evenings

Does he have a baby scooter or a little trike? What about soft play or a ball pit? You could sign him up for a baby swim class.

My ds was endlessly energetic until he was about 13, then he calmed down and became absorbed in school.

My toddler is insanely active and full of passion for everything. I am very introverted and lazy. I try to see it as a kick up the bum to be active too. We go out on our bikes together, or he goes on the back of my bike and we go off on adventures together. As long as it's outdoors he's happy and I get the benefit of a tired toddler at the end of the day who sleeps from 6pm-7:30am.

Get a bike seat and take him to the woods, the park, the beach, anywhere. Just pack food in a rucksack and go. Stay out all day.

God. People are horrible and I can’t bear to read a lot of these sanctimonious replies. It’s ok to find it hard! It is hard! Toddlers have endless energy and no sense of boundary or danger. We now find our weekends are the opposite of relaxing and I often realise I don’t do deep breaths. When people ask me when we’re having a second I freak out because our house is a tip all the time.
So yes it’ll get easier. Someone called the next stage (junior school) the games stage, where you can actually have conversations and play board games with them as their favourite stage. Everyone has the stage they like and dislike and that’s ok. You are normal! He is loved.

@sellotape12 I agree, don't know what would drive someone to talk to a struggling mum that way but each to their own, at least we aren't them I suppose.

I am the same when people ask about having a second. It's tough in the holidays too as all the toddler groups in our area stop. I have 1 day off in the week with him and everyone being off school takes away from our cosy weekday adventures where the parks are all ours. Hopefully the burnt out gets easier as they grow too

Maybe they genuinely wanted to know so they could suggest something?? This seems unnecessarily defensive..

This is my tip. If I stay at home I go mad, and the place ends up a tip. I much prefer being out and about.

It does get easier, now my 6 year old is 6 I can play games with her, have proper convos etc. when she was a toddler/ my toddler is obv a toddler it's harder, more role play, play doh, all that stuff, but I know at some point we will move out of that phase

It's really hard. We just go out all of the time as I can't cope with the constant mess, chaos and noise at home. Trips to the woods are peaceful and entertaining for them (with plenty of snacks). Make use of communal spaces where there are free activities for them to do eg library. Seek out toddler friendly activities near you that are quieter and more tolerable for you. But basically, yes it is really tough and it's not just you. I'm exhausted after a full day and that at weekends combined with full time work does leave little time for rest and recharge. I keep me evenings fairly clear and my husband and I balance things so we each get some alone time over the weekend. I also take a day of leave from time to time when she is at nursery to just give myself some space. Hang in there, it will get better.

Also suggest going out, library, park, softplay, mixes it up for them and gives you different stuff to chat about, you can take/get a coffee which I find is always helpful!

I hear you OP.
My toddler is very energetic and rarely stays in the same place for more than a few minutes. I also have a 6mo so life is very hectic.
I actually enjoy playing with him but I can't do it all the time because a) I have to do adult things like make food and clean, b) baby needs me too and c) some independent play is good for them.
I try to remind myself there is very little that can't be cleaned up and to just go with the flow a bit more. Who cares if there's crumbs everywhere because he must butter his own toast, wiping up 100 crumbs is not much harder than wiping up the 10 I'd make. (I'm lying because I do care, it's all more work for me, and I'm exhausted!) But it's part of learning to do things for yourself, practice makes perfect.
One thing I have done is make life easier where I can. Eg he cannot be trusted to sit and colour whilst I change baby's nappy for 5 mins. Crayons go on the wall, felt tips go on his clothes, pencils get dropped and broken. So I've got those Crayola colour wonder pens which only show up on the special paper. Expensive but worth it for the peace of mind whilst still giving him colouring opportunities.

Toddlers are hard work but when ds comes up to me for a hug it's all so worth it. They are only little once! But it's also totally fine to find it tiring. Some days you do wish down the hours until bed time and that's OK. You're human. Doesn't mean you don't love them any less. Just mentally draining

My advice is as some have said above. Get out the house. You van do a lot with a todfler for free that isn't the busy parks. We particularly like to go to the "shops" on my day off with him. We are regulars in morrisons us too!

Also DS ropes me into his activities. He has a doctors set and we spend ages with him checking I'm "ok" honestly it becomes really fun when you start to get down to their level and see the world through their eyes.

Get them involved in tidying too. I get super stressed with mess so we do one thing then sing the tidy up song and clear it away before the next activity.

Hang in there. I'm sure it gets easier as they get a bit older and you get a bit more of yourself and me time back. I will totally miss being DS best play friend though.