Dad a baby toddler groups - what do you think?

[Bumperlicious]

Dh and I are both looking after DD part-time and I have been trying to encourage him to go to baby groups. I couldn't understand his reticence until today until he said that he was worried that the mothers would think he was a perv being a man hanging around at a baby group. he said I don't understand what it is like as a man.

So, not that I expect it to make any difference to him, I was wondering what your thoughts would be about a man at a group. Would you be concerned?

Sorry I mean oohed and aaaahed in "oh how lovely the dad with his baby" way.

Every toddler group I've been to has had men at it.
They're parents too so why no?. I'd think it was odd if there weren't dads tbh.

Tell your DH that's it's no at all unusual these days. Quite normal in fact. No-one would bat an eyelid at him being there.

He really should go - it's hampering his child's social life if he doesn't! There's a disconnect, sure - women probably won't start conversations initially, possibly, my DW guessed, for fear of being seen as the one chatting up the dad, but it's amazing how toddlers fighting over toys gets people apologizing, then chatting...

I did it for nearly 6 years (DS [#2] is still preschool but now just a bit too old for toddler groups) and found mums more chatty at some groups than others; but at those where they weren't, new mums (whom I already knew) who came along noticed the mood was standoffish and not particularly friendly anyway.

The people running the groups are usually chatty and friendly (and they're the ones in control of the biscuits and coffee - so good to be alongside them anyway). Helping out is also a good ploy - offering to lift and put away climbing frames and other big stuff (whilst IGWS you lot are eminently able/capable) is usually quite welcome, and the day the coffee lady was ill and I had to step in meant EVERYONE had to chat to me. Ooh the power.

Clearly I don't know if anyone thought I was a perv, but I doubt it. IMHO at some groups it was women checking out how each other looked - I, and the other blokes, were too busy refereeing Lego wars or changing nappies.

One thing tho' - if your DD is still tiny, any conversations with more than two new mums is likely to turn to episitomies and VBACs etc - if he's in the midst of this, he needs to be alive to the signs that they're heading in that direction and go and change a nappy or something before it all gets a bit uncomfortable all round.

A bit long - but a view from the other side - HTH

My NCT group meet every week, usually at a toddler group, one of the couples the dad stayed at home while the mum went back to work, he goes every week plus to all the other things we do together (park, farms, days out etc). It hasn't been weird in the slightest, he is one of the gang, just gets on with it and nobody bats an eyelid, honestly. At all the toddler groups, library events, whildrens play areas etc I go to round here there are always some Dads. My dp takes ours sometimes. It is entirely normal round here, noone bats an eyelid. Why would anyone be concerned. tell him to go for it.

our nct group has some men but none of the other toddler groups i go to. never thought it was weird there wasn't any though.

I help to run our local toddler group and know we couldn't give a jot if it is mum, dad, granny or grandpa who take the kids there. We even have a couple who come together.
Everyone gets on fine and I have never noticed any awkwardness. I suppose it depends how comfortable your dh is around groups of women. It could be quite intimidating for him.

Nobody will think he's a perv. Exp takes ds2 to them. I see men at toddler groups all the time. I just assume they are dads.

Nobody you would like would think anything odd!

I always used to make a beeline for the Dads as they talk about different things which makes the morning more interesting.

there are dads at all the groups i go to and i do try to be friendly to them because i remember reading an account of a SAHD who felt totally unwelcome wherever he went!
I think its great to see dads doing the childcare thing and want to be encouraging to them sorry that sounded really patronizing...

me too, they are generally more chilled than the competitive milestoning mums too when you are no longer on your pfb so make more pleasant conversationalists.

Bumper, I have a brain like a sieve, meant to mention this today (not that I think I really should have talked any MORE ). DD and I used to go to a toddler group with one dad who was a regular attendee, no one looked at him askance at all. DH took her to another group once (she should have been in nursery, I think she was getting over something and was still a bit too tired for a whole day at nursery) and it sounded like he'd had more conversation in a couple of hours than I'd had in weeks/months of our regular group.

There are a few dads at our toddler group. No-one would ever think they were pervs! DH went once when he happened to be off work on the day the group runs, and he did say that only a couple of mums spoke to him. But then he is not a 'regular'! The dads who come to ours tend to be those who work funny hours or are in relationships where the childcare/work is 50/50 for both partners.

DP takes DS oncea week to todd;ler group. He doesn't love it iykwim but knows its good for DS. he says sometimes the conversations can be a bit hard going esp when it comes to Mums bemoaning their husbands but on thw whole finds everyone v pleasant. He should go!

We used to have a few Dads at our group in Cyprus and one Dad and a grandad regular here in the UK. They were/are great, always easy to chat to and ime much more helpful than some of the Mums.....

there is a mum at our group who has health problems and a couple of times her dh brought their lo i didnt mind at all,in fact we all thought it was very sweet of him as most of our dhs would never bother,although the poor chap was clearly uncomfortable and sat on his own bless him

there are dads and grandads at most of the groups I go to, no-one minds and everyone talks to them.

my cousin who is a sahd in the states says he has felt a bit excluded at times

A friend of mine (male) was the only dad at toddler group in fact it never occured to anybody that he may be a paerv. All the otehr mums were jealous that someones DH was hands on enough to go to toddlers and it cause a lot of men to be dreagged along on their days off for ages after he started.
He is a good looking guy and the older mums got fluttery around him was hilarious. He was also called upon to service our cars and stuff cause our dh's weren't around in the day and he was