Can you help me get my baby into a routine - I don't know where to start!

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

Hi all, this is my first post so hope it works! Ive been lurking on these boards for an eternity and finally plucked up the courage to get on here myself.

I am desperate for some help with my DS. He is 7 months old and for the first 6 months was a dream baby, slept through 12 hours a night, couple of regular naps in the day, never heard him cry excpet for when he had his injections! Problem is we moved house a month ago and the first two weeks here were a nightmare, no heating no flooring etc all huddled up in 1 room, we got the place sorted pretty quick but it really knackard up ds routine. Now he is all over the shop, sleeping anything from 8-12 pm until 5-9am the next morning. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to his patterns and being pregnant and hormonal I'm finding it really hard to cope with him being so miserable all the time. Trouble is he sort of settled into his own routine pretty quickly (about 8 weeks old) so I don't know how to get him back into one IYKWIM.

It seems like just a moan I know but really would love any suggestions as I'm not overly confident and don't want to do anything that might make him worse / more unhappy. Plus with second baby due in October I really want ds settled for all our sakes!

Thanks

Mine did exactly the same thing at just over six months so it might just be a phase - I think mine was hungry. Do you have a bedtime routine? Do you feed him in the night if he wakes?

I really sympathise. No sleep is horrid but I'm sure it'll be sorted long before the new baby arrives

Oh dear - mine is 18 months old, I'm due in July and she's never slept through the night. Some babies are just like that - but chances are he's teething or sick or just a bit cross about the changes. It can take up to six weeks for kids to recover from major changes like moving house, so don't panic yet!

Keep things normal try and be tolerant and remember that this stage will pass (of course they can still be little buggers but as they get older they get more creative about it ).

For a routine to be successful you need to have at least 2-3 fixed points to "hang" it on.

My suggestions are

Firstly - get him up at the same time every day. So if he shows signs of sleeping in you have to go and wake him up (sorry!). I would choose 7am-ish. Obviuosly some days he's already awake by then.

Then choose rough meal times and stick to them - breakfast between 6-8am; lunch 11.30-1pm; tea 4.30-5.30pm

Choose a bed time that is later than the earliest of your times (ie later than 8pm) and stick to it for a few days. I'd go for 9.30pm to start but bring it forward by 15mins every day or every two days until you get to a reasonable time.

Presuming bedtime routine is bath, book, milk, bed? So for a 9.30pm bedtime the bath is at 9pm, book at 9.15pm, milk at 9.20pm and into cot at 9.30pm.

Bring everything forward by 15mins the next day or the one after.

I believe the key is often the getting them up at the same time - it's the worst bit but crucial!

Anyone else?

No I dont feed him in thight, to be honest he wakes for his dummy more than anything - horrible things wish I'd never bought them! He also wakes alot with lots of moaning (which does turn to a scream if i don't get there quick enough) but then as soon as he sees me, or dp he goes straight back to sleep. this can be upto 10 - 20 times a night, every half hour sometimes. I've tried putting him in bed with me but he sbs till i hold him, and he falls asleep.

I do bath bottle bed - same time everynight, bottle by 8.pm. keep everything calm and sometimes it works, mostly it doesnt.

A few people in RL have said he could be hungry, he has 4-5 9oz bottles a day, and 3 meals now aswel. Takes after mommy with his food bless him lol!

Im sure he wil be sorted, im lookin gat him now looking like an angel thinking what was i moaning about, but then i think about another long night and im pulling my hair out! Pregnancy hormone central at the mo - not helping!

Thanks for the reply.

woh that was quick, im a techno phob so getting the hang of posting! To be honest just hearing I'm not failing makes me feel so much better, feel awful for upsetting him so much and just want him to be happy. Thanks for all the advise and I'm going to stick gagarins list on the fridge. Might help dp remeber im not being mean to ds!

thanks

Also remember that babies always have a touch of randomness about them. With some you can apply as much pressure as you like for them to fall into a routine and they just, frankly, don't. It doesn't make you a bad mother.

The blessings of dummies!

I read somewhere (sorry can't remember where!) that dummies enhance sleep up to 6 months-ish but make it worse after then.

Two options?

Burn all the dummies

Keep getting up to put it back in until he's old enough to do it for himself

Both potentially good ideas but both v hard to do

Good luck

Welcome to Mumsnet, BabyDubs.

this book might help.

Is his cot in your room? If so, you might consider moving him into his own room (this sorted my ds2 at around the same age); or, if he isn't, maybe bring him in with you so he knows you're close by due to all the changes?

Hope you can get some sleep soon-- they all go through tricky phases.

Thats great thanks. I think half my problem is retraining my me! I'm a sado with everthing done for a reason at the right time with list after list and then lists for my lists! Will defo look at that book thanks, think Ive been so lucky for the early months that now i look at it, i havent done a lot of parenting yet, it's all been on sons terms and now its my turn to lead its taken me by surprise a little!

I think the dummy fairy might be paying a visit to my house soon. Mean mummy I am!

A list fiend! You're prob right about needing re-training.

I'm all for a pattern to a LO's day but IMO lists can be counter-productive because they sort of suggest that babies (and life) can be predicted and predictable - and so often they aren't.

Spending hours wondering why your LO is behaving in a certain way is often a waste of time. They are inherently random and it's tempting to intepret their behaviour in a certain way - in in reality there is no answer.

So stick with a general rhythm to the day and see how life pans out