Mindset

[Margattarin]

My 17 old child refuses to get a part time job because he says he's too tired studying 3 A levels. He says if I want him to get top grades then he needs all the time to study.
I dont know if i am dealing with a genius but has he just buried me? Im still trying to claw myself out of the hole to come up with a feasible response. What I think he's saying that if I forced him to work then the onus will be on me if he doesn't get the grades - boom - yet he gets an allowance of £180 a month, I pay for his gym subscription his mobile phone, travel expenses as well as dinner money and clothes. If he goes out with friends he asks for extra money which I provide. How long will I need to carry him like this and what can I do so he can understand that you don't get money for nothing.

“he gets an allowance of £180 a month, I pay for his gym subscription his mobile phone, travel expenses as well as dinner money and clothes. If he goes out with friends he asks for extra money which I provide. How long will I need to carry him like this and what can I do so he can understand that you don't get money for nothing.”

I think the clue might be in the question.

Yes and I'm still pondering.🤔

what can I do so he can understand that you don't get money for nothing

Stop giving him money for nothing. That would be your starting point.

To be honest, I would let him finish his a levels if you've been providing this support so far - it's a bit mean to cut him off. I'd sit down with him calmly though and explain what support you're willing to provide after his exams - eg I will pay for X but not Y.

Agreed. A positive and sensible approach. At the end if the day, we all want the best for our children so they can transition from teens to young persons smoothly. I will definitely put in place the X and Y. Parenting teens is not easy. THANKS.

When doing my a levels and degree we were discouraged from having term time employment. Those that did have jobs struggled with the work.
I worked every summer holidays however and during my a levels I did a lot of babysitting for a neighbour. My parents paid for essentials but socialising and clothing came from my summer work. It gave me a good experience of budgeting making the summer money last as long as possible.
I think it wouldn't be unreasonable to reduce the amount he gets each month to cover the essentials. It is worth looking at whether there are any holiday work in your area. Pubs and restaurants often want extra staff over Christmas.