5 year old hell

[PinkCrow]

Hi all
sorry if this is long winded I feel at this point I have no where else to turn !
DD just finished reception , amazing at school no fault at all and obviously comes home and explodes!
Thought her behaviour would pick up over the summer holidays and in some ways it has but her behaviour is getting to the point its tearing our family apart.
She hits us all and goes seemingly out of control , she is constantly whining and moaning she just never seems happy !
We met one of her school friends at the park today and I don’t know if they clash but they fight constantly and DD is constantly crying and whining and its usually about winning etc.
As a family we have been really trying to work on the one to one time with her especially this first week as DH had had a week off.
We have been really working on controlling anger by talking through to better direct and I even made some calming jars with glue and glitter etc to maybe help but it just gets thrown about!
At this point I'm almost scared to meet up with anyone over the holidays because of the behaviour.
Any advice welcome
If you have made it this far thank you!

Dd is exactly like this - she’s currently on the pathway for an ADHD diagnosis, so may be worth looking into?

Girls especially are very good at masking at school, so when they’re home it all bursts out and you get the brunt of it.

With the hitting just completely remove yourself from the situation if you safely can, or make DD’s room safe for her to rage in, and when she’s calm that’s when you talk about it. Dd says it bursts out of her and she can’t control it. I have ADHD too so I totally get it! But when they’ve lost control trying to ‘fix’ it doesn’t work, it just winds them up more.

With regards to the whining, I give Dd a clear warning before we go - “if there is any moaning/crying etc you’ll have one warning and then we go home”. Obviously if there’s a real issue that deserves tears I don’t give a warning.

But I follow through every single time, even if it is a birthday party/something I’ve spent loads of money on. I only had to do it three times before she got it. Now I just give the warning and she knows I won’t put up with it.

Thanks so much for your reply !
She does say that she cant help the anger its just her body and I do really feel for her , I really want to help her but equally its really putting a strain between me and her dad the longer its going on.
We have been reflecting on today and we think that we should have left the park earlier than we did , maybe the time is just too long. She tires very quickly and tiredness is always a part in it.
It has crossed my mind about exploring characteristics that may not be just be ‘standard’ 5 year old behaviour x