How does your 6yo boys's ADHD present?

[Notforallthetea]

Just that really.

Struggling with mine, it's almost like he has an electric current in him. He's constantly talking, needs interaction all the time, TV is the only activity he seems to be able to do alone. Not interested in playing with toys ever, just wants to be out and about doing stuff at all times. Quite often he has these kind of mad moments where it's like he's possessed- like almost talks in tongues, runs around, is clearly trying really hard not to bite/hit (he doesn't any more, but it's clearly a struggle for him to control). Very bright, very loving but God is he full on. Is this just classic 6 year old boys? Do others have boys like this? I feel like a failure, I struggle to fill even a day alone with him, it's just so exhausting.

Also I should add, he's not been diagnosed with ADHD, school hasn't mentioned it, and I'm not trying to medicalise what may be just normal behaviour. But a lot of time I'm wondering IS this normal and I'm just not great at managing him, or is he harder work than the average 6yo? Thanks in advance

This sounds pretty familiar! Mine wasn't diagnosed at this point though so I didn't have an understanding of why he was like this. Also my first, so nothing to compare to. In the holidays an activity club (like an hour of football or multi sports a day) is a godsend. I can't remember if he still did this by 6, but when younger watching kids TV shows with songs was great as he would jump up and down along with them standing in front of the TV. A video game would absorb him but you probably don't want to do there yet!
oh, softplay and trampoline parks also a great idea. Think of him as a large energetic dog who needs lots of exercise and then will hopefully sleep (aka collapse in front of tv) afterwards. It's great he's trying to control his own biting. We had a sticker chart for that at one point.
Its also ok to know that is really hard!

Have just read your update. By contrast, my non-adhd child would sit and do jigsaws, colour in and draw, play with toys at that age. Though he still had loads of energy for parks and soft plays!

Thanks that's helpful to know yours is similar. Have a nearly 2 year old and he can genuinely sit and play for longer than my eldest.
I think I find it hard because he's always asking to do stuff with me and honestly, I can only cope with a few hours- so then revert to TV, which makes me feel guilty. I see other people's kids playing alone or doing drawing or whatever, and wonder what I've done wrong (have tried all the usual things to encourage independent play).
Will try and up the physical activity quota over the summer

I don’t think this is normal at all. Have you discussed it with his GP? My five year old wouldn’t dream of hitting, it wouldn’t even enter his head to hurt another person.

What a perfect child

Not really, that’s just the bare minimum most parents would expect of a five year old.

I mean, this isn't wildly helpful to my situation but glad that you don't have this to worry about

Well you did ask whether this is classic six year old behaviour and if others have a child like yours? And I’ve answered…

Grand thanks.

So my 6yo DS is currently waiting for an assessment for suspected autism and ADHD. Referral has been done because of school concerns as well as our own. Obviously he hasn't been diagnosed so bare that in mind.

We are currently sat at the dining table having lunch and he basically sits down, takes a mouthful of food, then gets up and wanders around, then sits down and takes a mouthful and on it goes. We spent about 3 years trying to get him to just sit nicely to eat but had to give up because he just cannot do it 🤣

He always has to be moving. Even when he's watching tv he will wander round the living room, jump up and down etc. He struggles to sit at school so they just let him move around the classroom, they've found that he actually gets more work done when he gets up and moves around every few minutes.

He daydreams a lot and struggles to concentrate on tasks unless it's something he really wants to do it and then he is very focused. He is VERY easily distracted and he can't remember instructions with more than 1 step. He absolutely entertains himself though and rarely needs anyone else to entertain him, though he does like playing with his sister. He does try to lash out when he is angry but has learned to stop himself, especially when I remind him that he doesn't want to hurt me or his sister etc. He has been really good at stopping himself for about 6 months now.

Like I say, no diagnosis but strong suspicions from us and the school. There are other things that he struggles with but those are more autistic traits so probably not relevant.

Hi, my 6 year old son was diagnosed this week with ADHD. He has fleeting attention on anything which isn't his choosing, talks excessively and if it's a topic of his interest then there's no chance peers can engage in the conversation. He is distracted by anything, and needs reminding to stay on tasks. He cannot sit on the carpet for lesson delivery and then go to his desk to complete the task, he'd forget straight away.
He has a strong sense of justice and holds a grudge. Clumsy, runs, rode a bike without stabilisers at 4 without being shown how to. I could go on, however, after being out for the morning, he's currently sitting watching a film with a treat from the bakery.
He loves a hike in the woods, and can play a board game with the family. Things will improve with age and strategies.
I'd speak with the school and share your concerns.

Just to add, I'm also a SENCO so I had a lot of tools to try out at home. Which I think is why some people thought I was mad pursuing this as this didn't see what we were seeing.

Look up the Vanderbilt screener for ADHD. The questions are grouped into attention, hyperactivity social skills. One of the questions is 'do they act as if driven by a motor'. Sounds like your son. He is likely responding to a lack of structure thus is disregulated. Fair play to him, he is desperately trying to regulate himself - well done him.

I have a 6 year old diagnosed ADHD (also ASD/PDA profile) and he literally cannot sit still. Cannot stop moving, talking, bouncing or fiddling. Running at the walls and pressing off them on repeat. Mine is (very) aggressive, both physically and verbally but his profile of other needs feeds into this as well plus he’s been out of school for a long time. He is relentlessly on the go from the second he opens his eyes and now takes melatonin to aid sleep. He is on meds but still trying to find the right sort so not particularly helpful yet. Hang in there, no real advice other than it’s not personal (if he’s aggressive) and complete solidarity. It’s really hard.

Following with interest. You could be describing my 4 year old to the letter. I love him dearly but he is absolutely exhausting and frustrating and so hard to manage. He’s slowly yet surely diverging from his peers as well and his behaviour is becoming more noticeably different. We also have the regular ‘possessed’ moments as you describe, they are daily or more currently without the structure of school.

He has an ASD assessment later this year. That was prompted by a HV/PT/OT review which highlighted multiple sensory needs, some odd speech development (adult like but odd structure, no volume control and very monotone), very immature/none existent ‘play’, low sleep needs and gross motor delays. I’m not sure I was fully convinced at first, but the more I read the more I can believe. I was absolutely convinced before school/HV/therapy were involved he was ADHD. We are on a waiting list for when he is 6 for that.

And just to add, my 1 year old can entertain himself for longer than my 4 year old. That’s not saying much, it’s just my 4 year old is pathologically incapable of playing alone. I see people on MN saying ‘let them be bored and they will find entertainment’. I just don’t think this is true for a lot of neurodiverse kids. We have been working on this for over 2 years with various professionals and we have made near on zero progress. Between his hyperactivity, extremely low attention span, weird sensory profile and his none existent imagination, independent play with toys is seemingly currently out of his skill set.

Thanks for all the replies, it's good to hear that others have experienced this kind of thing. I'm always wondering what I've done wrong/if I'm just not cut out to be a parent, so it helps that others have experience of this behaviour. The summer holidays especially are not helping, with lack of routine and structure for us all, so will work on that for everyone's sanity.

Hi @Notforallthetea

hope things have improved now he’s back at school for you - my son is 6 he’s the same he struggles with school and engaging in the classroom. Your description sounds just like him and I feel sometimes im not cut out to be a mum. He’s my only one, it’s nice to know we aren’t alone in this. X

@TinselTarTars would you kindly share some of your strategies please? My DS sounds similar you yours. Constantly on the go. We often joke about him being an over active puppy that needs a lot of exercise and chats away.

Hi, of course. I will add we have since tried medication but it hasn't worked for us. Concentration wise, amazing but the emotional side of things were awful for him.

Strategy wise, sand timers for transitions, a shelf in the wardrobe for mon-fri with his uniform so he dresses independently.
Wobble board brought from symths, directed to use when over stimulated.
Fidgets everywhere.
Getting his attention before any instructions.
Firm boundaries.
Plenty of opportunities for outdoor activities, this weekend he washed the car.
This may get me hauled over the coals, but no adjustments to food. Same plate as everyone else and a piece of each to be tried with all family at the table. Maybe it works, maybe we're fortunate with the level of his diagnosis but we don't have issues surrounding sleep, weight or food.

We can eat in restaurants and enjoy days out, holidays with minimal worry. He continues to vocal tic / stim, but it's healthy and we only direct it if inside, e.g inside voice.

@Reedroo Impulse control is one of the areas affected by ADHD. Please educate yourself on brain development and dopamine before making unsupportive unnecessary comments.