Cousin possibly going off the rails..

[Pinkapie]

This is a bit of a complicated one, so my ds is in y7 and has a step cousin in y7. SC is fine when they are outside of school at grandparents but unfortunately SC (12) is vaping, hanging out with older kids and he has a gf who is 15 ( nearly 16). I'm worried what might happen, this just seems so wrong to me but do I interfere and say something as they know my info has come from DS?

Tricky one

You don't want your own DC to get bullied so I'd leave it be

Plus this is normal secondary school behaviour

Plus it could all blow up in your face if you say or do anything

DS no longer trusting you

DS getting bullied

Family get togethers become awkward

Family all fall out

Etc etc

Normal high school behaviour? That may be but doesn’t mean its fine to just be blasè about it.
Are you concerned for SC or concerned SC behaviour will influence your DS? are SC parents aware this is happening? maybe anonymously get the school involved and let the school inform SC parents and leave it at that? How close are you with SC parents? Is this something you could approach them with and they keep it under wraps it came from your DS? x

If this was my child, I’d want to know. Realistically though, I can’t imagine the parents don’t know and simply don’t care that much.

This isn't normal high school behaviour from 12yo.

However I wouldn't say anything. Parents should be aware if he's vaping in school.

Think you're right and best not to interfere. I don't think this is normal behaviour though, he's y7 (12) dating a 15 Yr old?! The vaping maybe but I personally think if he's doing thar now, what's he going to be doing next year.