Co parenting am I in the wrong for asking?

[Babygirlmum]

My daughter has been with her dad and his family, she has come home with a massive bruise at the back of her thigh and a small bruise above it, am I wrong for wondering, I understand children hurt themselves but she has never gotten a bruise like this while in my care? I have asked before when she has come home with something and his reply is unfortunately she is a child and they hurt themselves, am I being dramatic?

Your daughter's age is extremely relevant here.

And how big is ‘massive’ in comparison to say the palm of her hand?

@Aquamarine1029 sorry she is 2 years old.

You're not being dramatic and I would be very concerned.

You must know why the girl is sick, because after all, you are her mother

@Snacksgalore about the same size as her palm maybe a bit smaller.

@MAIRAH sorry did anybody mention her before sick?

I think you both have a valid stand point.

Yes at 2 they bruise easily and frequently.

But you are absolutely right to wa t to know how it happened.

If you use a nursery can you ask in a "nursery will need to know what happened" way so it's not accusatory and not necessarily you that needs to know?

Thats said, unless you are worried about abuse its probably not a hill to die on.

@ThisBlueCrab I just know he will not appreciate me asking, although I deserve to know why my daughter has a bruise, he will jump to conclusions and think I am insinuating something, and cause an argument with me.

I think what your relationship was like when together is relevant here. Do you believe he could have hurt your child? Was he abusive to you? Do his family believe in smacking children?

I completely get that you are upset he won't tell you what happened. And I agree with you you should be told. But I think if you had no concerns before then maybe I would accept kids get hurt but if you had concerns I'd be handling it very differently

@PurpleBugz it's hard as I don't really have concerns but at the same time I don't exactly know as it's not just him, it's his family to I'm which I can't imagine them doing anything but at the same time this is the 2nd time she has came back with a bruise now.

Bruises on those areas would raise a safeguarding flag at nursery. It's not one she'd get from a typical toddler fall/stumble.

It can still be 100% innocent, but there should be an explanation for it, was she grabbed by a sibling, fall-though it wouldn't explain both sides.

I don't think you're being dramatic and would be worried too.

A second time! I'd be concerned. Once is an accident, twice is not.

I'd raise the question, her safety is a lot more important than his feelings, and I'd photograph the bruises. A 2yo wearing a nappy does not acquire a large bruise in that area just by losing her balance.

I'd explain to him that a third bruise would make me keep her at home.

@lunar1 yes that's true, I feel sick the thought of anything however it is in a location where she shouldn't really get a bruise. And this does raise some what a concern as you've said, it would at nursery.