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Cutting contact with my sons other side of the family.

12 replies

Spaceraiderrr · 01/08/2024 23:07

Hi I have already done a post before about advice. I was abused by my sons father and had abuse of my sons uncle too. I have been through a lot with that family. My son’s other uncle trying it on with me which is completely inappropriate especially as he has a girlfriend and 3 kids. At first their mother was horrible to me, so unwelcoming and rude. But when I split with my ex she started being nice. I don’t know whether this was because she was worried she wouldn’t get to see my son again. I always let her but my son has never warmed to her. Recently my anxiety is through the roof, I am really struggling when it comes to taking my son to see her, I’d never let her have him alone. The abuse her son did to me such as hitting me, strangling me with my son in my arms, spitting on me, smashing my flat and car up, threading my home and family and so much more, and what my sons uncle said about him saying he hopes my son gets sexually abused and trying to smash his bedroom window (my son wasn’t even one yet) his mom still lets my sons dad live their rent free, sell drugs from the home, and still speaks to her other son who is pure evil, beats people up, has had guns in the past which is why he is jail now, threaten to shoot people even from jail now. I have decided I want to have a clean break and fresh start. I am trying to move away now, and I have blocked my sons nan out of the blue because I can’t cope anymore. I can’t get over something when I’m still living in it, I worry for the future for my son I don’t want him to ever get involved in that and worry it will be confusing for him. Am I being mean by cutting all contact? I really can’t do it anymore I am constantly overthinking and not being able to be the best mom I can be as I am always drained. Please give me advice. I am so stressed too as my sons nans family live around my area, I feel they will turn up at my house or try take me to court. My sons dad however even admitted he wouldn’t stand a chance in court.

OP posts:
Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 07:49

You think he's stuck up.

You obviously don't like his girlfriend

He now has a baby and a lot on his plate.

You need to appreciate that you have played a part in this. There must be more to this for him to cut you off. We're hearing just your side.

Whyherewego · 21/10/2024 07:54

You are entitled to move and you are not obliged to foster a relationship with your ex family. They can try to take you to court but grandparent access is not that easy to secure and they'd have to show they had a meaningful relationship with DS. If the ex is not trying for custody seems like you're free to do whatever you want. So leave

Spaceraiderrr · 21/10/2024 11:54

Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 07:49

You think he's stuck up.

You obviously don't like his girlfriend

He now has a baby and a lot on his plate.

You need to appreciate that you have played a part in this. There must be more to this for him to cut you off. We're hearing just your side.

erm, that doesn’t even make any sense? He does not have a girlfriend, and if he did I wouldn’t care as I don’t love him. And he never bothered with my son he missed many chances to see him as he never turned up after I gave him chance after chance and also said he doesn’t want to be his dad and how my son ruined his life? I haven’t played any part in anything I was abused for 3 years. I am not getting help of woman’s aid to be moved. I cut him off because he’s an abuser has let my son down so many times. You are either a man or a bitter woman who thinks the woman is the issue, when I’ve explained the situation of what that family put me and my son through!

OP posts:
Spaceraiderrr · 21/10/2024 11:55

Whyherewego · 21/10/2024 07:54

You are entitled to move and you are not obliged to foster a relationship with your ex family. They can try to take you to court but grandparent access is not that easy to secure and they'd have to show they had a meaningful relationship with DS. If the ex is not trying for custody seems like you're free to do whatever you want. So leave

I haven’t had contact with any of them for 3 months now and feel so much better and safer. Thank you!

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright3 · 21/10/2024 11:59

A happier mum will be a happier Ds .. fresh start sounds perfect for both of you .

I would also consider if there are mutual friends who tell him where you have gone . Don’t let them know before you move .

Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 13:47

Spaceraiderrr · 21/10/2024 11:54

erm, that doesn’t even make any sense? He does not have a girlfriend, and if he did I wouldn’t care as I don’t love him. And he never bothered with my son he missed many chances to see him as he never turned up after I gave him chance after chance and also said he doesn’t want to be his dad and how my son ruined his life? I haven’t played any part in anything I was abused for 3 years. I am not getting help of woman’s aid to be moved. I cut him off because he’s an abuser has let my son down so many times. You are either a man or a bitter woman who thinks the woman is the issue, when I’ve explained the situation of what that family put me and my son through!

I was talking about your son and you.

Spaceraiderrr · 21/10/2024 13:58

Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 13:47

I was talking about your son and you.

I’m sorry but I’m confused to what you mean. I thought you was being rude

OP posts:
Spaceraiderrr · 21/10/2024 13:58

Starlightstarbright3 · 21/10/2024 11:59

A happier mum will be a happier Ds .. fresh start sounds perfect for both of you .

I would also consider if there are mutual friends who tell him where you have gone . Don’t let them know before you move .

Thanks so much🥰 I’ve kept it quiet xx

OP posts:
Bullaun · 21/10/2024 14:02

Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 07:49

You think he's stuck up.

You obviously don't like his girlfriend

He now has a baby and a lot on his plate.

You need to appreciate that you have played a part in this. There must be more to this for him to cut you off. We're hearing just your side.

I think you’re responding to the wrong thread. The OP’s son is a child. He doesn’t have a girlfriend or a baby.

fuckitbucketfull · 21/10/2024 14:05

Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 07:49

You think he's stuck up.

You obviously don't like his girlfriend

He now has a baby and a lot on his plate.

You need to appreciate that you have played a part in this. There must be more to this for him to cut you off. We're hearing just your side.

You're posting on the wrong thread.

Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 14:09

Sorry!!!

Spaceraiderrr · 21/10/2024 15:45

Jellybeanbag · 21/10/2024 14:09

Sorry!!!

Don’t worry. Yes my son is only 2 years old that’s why I want to shelter him away from it all.

OP posts:
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