Toddler Bed Drama

[KeepSmiling89]

Hi All. After having a rough night, I'm feeling emotionally (and physically) exhausted and just wanted to vent/hear some other similar stories.

A couple of weeks ago, I moved DD (2 and a half) to a toddler bed as she'd been in a travel cot since I left her dad about a year and a half ago and moved in with my mum. The first 2 nights were great, she settled well in it and slept through the night, no bother (she's always been a good sleeper in general). Night 3, however, she rolled out the bed (it's very close to the floor so I only knew she'd rolled out as I heard her crying and found her on the floor - no bump or anything). It was very tricky to get her settled after that and, since then, she just won't settle in it on her own.
Her dad has also converted the cot he had to the cot bed to ensure consistency. For the first half of this week, unfortunately, she's not been settling to great in it and, 2 nights ago, he ended up just taking her into bed with him for the sake of getting a night's sleep.
Last night, DD goes into her bed and lies down. However, as soon as I say goodnight and leave the room, she becomes hysterical, coming to the door of her room wanting out (she can open the doors in the house so have a safety gate on her door to prevent any accidents - i.e. stairs etc). I try my best to implement controlled crying as that worked for her about a year ago getting her to sleep in her cot when she had a wee sleep regression. However, last night it was just torture. Whenever I did go and see to her, she would go straight to her bed but wouldn't settle without me there. I did the whole sleep separation thing of staying in her room sitting on the floor with my back to her, gradually moving closer to the door...as soon as I open the door, she's out of bed wanting me back again. I eventually lie on the floor beside her bed and close my eyes and stayed there until she fell asleep before leaving. That was her until about 2am when she realised I wasn't there again so did the same - lie beside her bed until she falls asleep...fine again until 3.45am but she wasn't completely going to sleep. I eventually caved in and brought her travel cot through to let her sleep there. She protested a bit, but settled much more quickly than she did with the bed earlier in the night.

This morning, I'm feeling wracked with guilt that I didn't just put her straight into the cot as she was fine sleeping in there. On the other hand, I do want her to get used to sleeping in the toddler bed so should I have persevered longer and just sacrificed my sleep (I'm already feeling exhausted today at work)?

Just wondering if anyone else has any similar stories of transitioning to a toddler bed?
Is she just not ready and should I just keep her in the cot until she's a bit older? This is what I'm thinking just now but looking for a bit of reassurance.

It's just so strange as the first 2 nights she was in the bed, she was absolutely fine. It's like she's suddenly developed separation anxiety when I leave her bedroom.

That sounds really tough. Sounds like it was a bad experience for her rolling out of bed. Have you done anything to stop her rolling out? Rolled up towel or pool noodle under the sheet so there's a small barrier (and maybe pillows on the floor next to it)? Showed her that you're doing this and then tried to get her to roll out to show her it's safe for her now? Otherwise you might need to go back to a more enclosed bed or cot until she's a bit older.

It sounds like it frightened her falling out of bed. She's now nervous of falling again and wants Mummy/Daddy there to protect her. She will settle in the cot because she knows it's a safe space. It's not unreasonable if you look at it from that perspective although doesn't make it any easier to deal with. Does the bed not have a bumper/bed guard on it? Are all her other sleep aids/prompts the same? I didn't use a toddler bed but moved my daughter into a single at 2 but with bed rails and it's worked really well for us.

Is it an issue if she goes back into the cot for a bit? Was she dangerous in the cot? As in, trying to climb out? That's why we moved DS1.

DS1 was awful for falling out of bed, the thing we found best was duvet clips that meant he was slightly secured in the bed and therefore couldn't wriggle around quite so much. He had short bed rails but was such an active sleeper he always seemed to find the edge of them. He generally slept through falling out though!

Have you done anything obvious to make it clear to her that she's not going to fall out of bed, or that if she does she'll be safe? Bed rails, or maybe the travel cot mattress on the floor?

Just buy a bed guard, they're not expensive

Hi All
Thanks for the responses.
I had a couple of pillows on the floor at the side of the bed one night last week (can't remember what night) and, at one point when I went to check on her, she was fast asleep there (I'm guessing she slipped out there in her sleep)

I absolutely see it from her perspective and I'm guessing that's why she was so settled when I was there and when I left her in the cot (she protested a little, but settled much more quickly than with the bed - probably because she couldn't get out of the cot).

I spoke with the health visitor and am going to try her in the bed again tonight but using the disappearing chair method to see how that goes.

Could you put a bed guard on the bed? It will make her feel more secure and stop her falling out

I agree with pp, a bed guard until she's used to the new bed and then remove it.

UPDATE
Did the "disappearing chair" method last night. Upon leaving the first time, DD slept for about 1.5/2 hours before waking up and coming to the safety gate wanting me back in. I then saw every single hour of the night/morning until about 4.30am when she slept until 7am (when I was getting up for work anyway). Each time I left the room as quietly as possible (DD fast asleep), within a few minutes/half an hour at most of getting into my own bed, she was up again wanting me in the room. I did get to the point where she was happy for me just to be standing at the door (still in her room).
When she did wake up this morning, I brought her downstairs with me but she wasn't ready for breakfast or anything (understandably), just wanted cuddles or to sit on my cross legged lap on the floor in the kitchen.
I took her through to my room (downstairs) and put her on my bed with a pillow at each side of her, under the covers, so I could get myself ready for work - she fell asleep (fine with me getting ready around her) and she was fast asleep when I left for work at about 8.10/8.15am. My mum said she was awake again at 8.25 for the morning.

I'm now at work, struggling to focus, mentally and physically exhausted. Left a message with the health visitor and waiting on her calling me back with advice on what to do next.

I would get a bed guard and tell her it's to 'turn her bed back into a cot'.

Looking at bed rails on Argos (there's one near my work I could pick up today) but not sure if it would fit with DDs bed.
Here's the link to DDs bed: https://www.therange.co.uk/furniture/kids-furniture/kids-beds/car-and-novelty-beds/gruffalo-childrens-toddler-bed-frame?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwh7K1BhCZARIsAKOrVqFLQPMVUU_ll91YxK0c3gDrjmRcpcRcaYzJSHLvIpQ4ydejyARxvlMaAnDDEALw_wcB#9267666

The ones they have in Argos are designed to fold down to let the child climb out, which wouldn't work on her bed frame, but they might still fit under the mattress - you'd just have to leave it up all the time, and she would climb in and out round the side of it. This sort of thing would probably fit better though.

I just need a plan for tonight and tomorrow night as DD will be back with her dad from Sunday until Wednesday again. He's converted her cot into the cotbed so we're keeping things consistent with her. SO tempted to just bring the travel cot back in her room so we both get a decent night's sleep, but am worried that will set things back as her dad doesn't have a travel cot to do the same.

So overwhelmed right now I want to cry

Okay, can you get her dad to convert the cotbed back just for now, and you keep her in the travel cot, and both try again in a couple of weeks, when you've got a bedguard that fits?

Or hand over the travel cot with DD for the time being?