Advice needed re. small dcs and very ill granny

[winebeforepearls]

My MIL has been given about 3 months to live, and her condition means that very soon she won't be able to speak or walk .

So, on the advice of the doctor we're taking the dcs up to see her at the end of next week for what we know will be their last visit (she's 500 miles away).

The dcs are only 5, 3 and 1, so I don't think we'll be saying anything specific to them, but is there anything we could do to make their last meeting with their granny special? I would like to take some photos, but not sure if there'll be the right moment ...

Any experience/suggestions welcome.

just the photos then ...

yup, think so

Oh I am in a similar situation at the moment and I did the last meeting last week - my dad is in the last stages of cancer. I just let the children do whatever they wanted. I did not do photos - too painful and dad was all too aware of what was going on. They just chatted and giggled and cuddled then the fact that they are children meant they got bored and started buggering about so we left it there and I was very happy with it really.
My heart is breaking of course.Don't expect too much from the children.

How sad Poor you! I think photos will be lovely you could print them out for MIL before you leave and keep them for DCs when they are older they can look back on them and remember theur granny. Hope its ok and not too sad.

It's hard to know what to do except to explain that grandmother is very tired and needs to sleep lots, but that she wsnts to see them very much.

Tell them she would love a picture or a craft thing to put near her bed. Get DH to talk to 5 yr old about his childhood, and what his mum was like etc.

sorry in rush but didn't want you to feel ignored.

Sorry you're such a sad place and send some blessings to you

My mum and mil both died when my boys were 4, 2 and 4/5 months, so similar, although we were lived close to each other.

Make the time to take some photos, providing mil is happy to do so. DH will get pleasure from these in the long-term, as well as the DC (and FIL?).

If she's well enough, take her out for an hour/the day/a meal, so you have special memories of their last visit.

Obviously, the younger child won't remember this, but DC1 and possibly DC2 may do.

Thoughts are with you.

Thanks for all the replies. I suddenly thought it was probably a stupid question. I know really that there's not much else we can do ...

That's a fab idea about asking DH to tell eldest what she was like when younger.

And spudmasher, so sorry about yr dad .

I have to rush for pick-up, but will check back later.

Thank you wine. Hope it goes well and that you are happy with the visit.
One more thing I found useful- don't be afraid of letting the children see that you are sad. It is sad and I think that it is good for the children to see you accepting your emotions rather than trying to cover them all up.

Thanks again for all the tips. I think we'll try to keep it as natural as possible. It's difficult, because MIL doesn't want to talk about it openly, but everyone knows. I think also she'll be sensitive about any photographs.

She's not well enough to take out, but we'll be having a meal there, there'll be plenty of time for chatting and giggling, and a big garden for them to let off steam.

I know dd1 will ask questions, so we'll just be honest -- at her level, IYSWIM.