Worried about DSS

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DSS is 20 and lives with us full time has done for years.

He was due to go to uni in September and has decided he doesn't want to go and wants to be a day trader instead.

The back story is he had a girlfriend of 6 weeks who dumped just after Christmas. He was working an entry level job and saving up for uni.

Anyway the girl friend finished with him and he took it really badly.

He jacked in his job and wants to trade. He's isolated himself from all friends and literally never goes out. He's at home all the time except when he does his one 5 hr shift a week at another entry level job.

If I suggest going out with a friend I get a stupid reply of 'i'll go out when I'm rich'.

He's very vague about how much money he has as it feels as though he's always waiting for bitcoin to go up or some other story.

He says he likes the freedom but he feels like he is just gumming around. Having breakfast at 9:30 every day and the going off to the gym for a couple of hours in the afternoon.
He literally sits and watches you tube videos all day. Some are videos on how to trade some are Andrew Tate and others are about cars etc.

He had no money at all last week so DH lent him £50 to put petrol in the car. 2 days later he wanted borrow £500 DH said no.

I have suggested that he needs to do more shifts and he basically got up and walked away refusing to do so. Apparently it's all a con, having a job. You make other people rich blah blah blah.

We have also really encouraged him to go to uni, try and get a job with some prospects to move up, go to college to get a trade or to try and get a degree apprenticeship. He refuses to do anything other than trade.

I was told, by him, that if he was at uni we would support him for 3 years so we should support him now when he is starting off trading. That was dismissed pretty quickly.

Dh has said that he must pay rent and he has for 2 months. I just know that this month he doesn't have any money so I expect he'll say he can't pay.

What on earth do we do?
Am I an old dinosaur that doesn't see new ways of making money?

It feels like he's in a cult and won't listen to reason.

As I know some of you will search back through my post DSS persuaded DH into doing a bit of trading whilst he was out of work. He lost money and has stopped.

I would encourage him to develop his business skills if he wants to work in trading, be an entrepreneur, etc. Areange a session for him with a life coach who specialises in business career development. Follow his interests and support him that way. Give him a list of what you expect him to do around the house as well as paying his share of rent and bills. He will be using the internet a lot, so make that his bill to pay. If he doesn’t pay it, there will be no internet and he won’t be able to trade/watch YouTube all day. Tell him he needs to build his knowledge base in his chosen field by attending networking events, seminars, doing a business course, otherwise he’s just another incel living with his parents.
I would also suggest he needs counselling for his self esteem and potentially dangerous ideas about women. If he’s watching Andrew Tate after taking being dumped really badly, that’s a recipe for disaster. Get him into therapy, preferably with a female counsellor and address his self esteem issues. Tell him that if he doesn’t do these things then he is on his own but if he does you’re willing to support him get his career off the ground. Get him to start reading about his chosen field and biographies about successful entrepreneurs, so he can see how hard they’ve worked to earn their fortune and to inspire him. If he wants to be rich he has to put in the effort and sitting in his bedroom watching Andrew Tate spout absolute nonsense is not the way to go about it. He needs to be out networking and building relationships with people he can work with. He needs to find a mentor to work with. He needs to learn about his field. And he needs to grow up.

I would suggest being clear that you won't support him financially and he needs his own money.

I don't know about kicking him out if he can't pay rent (that's tricky), but no more £50 here or there. £0 to support him while he is able to work.

You were going to support him for 3 years through uni, but only through uni (or an apprenticeship or whatever).

If he's into internet wankers, maybe Jordan Peterson's stuff about being a man and strong and independent might be messaging in the right direction to get him to understand he needs to be financially independent now he's an adult? In effect, he's trying to continue his childhood.

Oh yeah I love this idea of, while he's paying no rent, there being no wifi.

He needs to make money. He can't just sit there farting about watching videos and probably getting scammed in the process, while pretending to be some kind of "entrepreneur".
Tell him he's to get a job. Minimum wage, factory, supermarket, deliveroo rider, anything. Go on the dole, get a job. Do your 'trading" in your own spare time. If he hasn't got some form of work within a month you should tell him he's going to need to leave the house.

Oh gosh I see this so much in my work. Has he specifically said he's trading in bitcoin? That's one coin of crypto but honestly it doesn't go up or down much because of it so if he was thinking he's going to make loads of money off it he might have to wait 20 years? If he's trading small amounts any profit he makes is likely to be wiped out by fees. That's if he's not being scammed. If he's following anyone on social media, Instagram, tiktok advising him what to trade in it's likely a scam and he'll lose everything. I speak to teenagers all day about crypto and tell them if it really was this get rich quick scheme we would all be doing it! No one would be going to work.
It's really difficult to get a 20 year old to see the big picture of their life decisions though. There's a really difficult balance of let them make their own mistakes and leading a horse to water etc.

When you said he wanted to be a trader, I thought you meant work for a company. He intends to make a fortune on his own, with YouTube and no work ethic? Not going to happen.