Struggling with my (nearly) three year old

[Nosleepforthismum]

Two and a half weeks into the summer break from preschool with DS (nearly 3) and DD (15 months) and I already feel broken.

I have NO patience anymore and although I haven’t said it out loud, I’m mentally telling my toddler to “fuck off” every time I hear him screech “MUMMY!!” which must happen at least 50,000 times a day.

Both of them are just so demanding and compete for my attention. They are in my personal space all the time. My DS in particular is really challenging at the minute. He’s speech delayed which I think adds to his frustration when he can’t communicate with me properly but his solution is to repeat the word louder and louder until I figure out what the hell he wants. Example:

DS “Mummy, mummy, MUMMY!”
Me: yes darling, are you okay?
DS: dirty. Truck dirty.
Me: oh your truck got dirty. (looking round at the millions of truck toys) which one? Shall we clean it?
DS: TRUCK DIRTY
Me: (spotting random truck) is it this one?
DS: NO MUMMY! (Runs to the sofa to dramatically throw himself down sobbing) TRUCK DIRTY!
Me: okay, can you show me?
DS: finally points down the back of the sofa. TRUCK! NEED CLEAN. MUMMY! CLEAN.
Me: “okay, let’s clean the truck” (gets the truck and a wet wipe)
DS: No mummy! Bath! Bath!

And on it goes, all day, every day. When he doesn’t get his point across or his own way he will scream and cry and just the noise of it is starting to really affect me. He can play independently for maybe 10 minutes or so but often he wants me to play with him or wants a snack or a drink or the tv or some other random demand.

The HV, speech therapist, and preschool are all very much on the fence about ASD as he isn’t presenting all the typical traits at this stage and they don’t think he needs to be assessed but I don’t know whether he sounds a lot more OTT than other toddlers his age? He’s obviously got a lot of lovely qualities as well, he’s kind and gentle with his younger sister, sleeps great, has taken to potty training surprisingly well, funny and affectionate. His eating has always been on the fussy side but he eats a wide range of variations of his safe foods like pasta, omelettes, soup etc.

I don’t know whether he is a particularly difficult toddler or it’s both kids together at home or whether I need to just pull my socks up with my parenting. How do other parents stay so calm? I need some tips desperately.

I have a just turned 3 and just turned 1 yo.

I basically go out most of the day that's the only way I survive. And use the TV for a bit each day to keep them busy.

And do you have some childcare for the eldest? My two nursery days are a godsend. You'll need some help if yours is home all summer!

Hope you're ok, it's really tough!

I found my 3yo has grown up so much since he turned 3, he's now almost 3.5. Makes things easier!

Mine is almost 3 as well OP and just the same. Except you've got two to deal with so you're a saint.

Honestly it doesn't make a difference if they have more language, they're just like that at this age. My son is very fluent but I hear the same thing all day except with even more language and I swear my head is going to burst. The same interaction with my son would sound like this

"Mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy!"
"Yes"
"Mummy mummy mummy mummy!"
"Yes?! What is it?"
"The truck is dirty it's stuck in the couch it's stuck it's dirty we need to wash it because it's so so dirty with all the mud and muck and we need to wash it because it's dirty and yucky I want to clean it I want to give it a bath like a car wash it needs a car wash"

I can't get a word in edgeways and he's mostly listening to his own voice, not mine, anyway. I'm a quiet introverted person so it really kills me.

He is learning that if he says mummy constantly that I ignore him though. We talked about it and I said it hurts my ears and he only needs to say mummy once. If he says it too much I give him The Look. I don't know if your son's understanding is there yet for this. But honestly they're all the same with this. We've also hit the "mummy look at this! Watch this!" phase.

His eating sounds good: pasta, soups, omelettes. All great. Similar to my son in that he doesn't eat absolutely everything but he eats fairly well. Mine also sleeps great which is a blessing.

I second PP and do the same. We're out all day long. He's happier and I'm a better mum to him. He needs to be outdoors being physical as much as possible. We go to the woods, the beach, out on his bike, to play parks and so on. Out out out. Bring lunch. Either they talk less when you're out and about, or somehow it's just easier to deal with than when you're at home. I exhaust him then get him home and he watches telly and plays with his toys while I make dinner. Then bath if there's time and straight to bed.