Day out at 15. How far is too far

[Busylittlebebe]

My daughter who’s 15, has asked to go the beach with some friends this week. I like in Stoke and the beach is in wales 2 hours on the train. She’s worked out train times and costs. There is a group of around 5 girls some 1. I can track her and she will keep in contact, leaving at 8am arriving back home around 8:30. She’s quite independent can travel to Birmingham shopping with friends, concerts and things. Part of me is ok with it the other half is screaming no.

id like peoples honest opinions sometimes i feel i am too lenient. When I was her age i was staying in random fields with friends 🤦🏻‍♀️ however she’s asked, planned and it’s a day time thing. I’m very unsure and said I need the day to think about it.

Assuming she can swim and it's a proper beach with lots of other people rather than a random bit of coast I'd be ok with that.

Absolutely fine.

If I knew the girls she was going with, and the majority are sensible and you can trust them not to do something like drink alcohol and swim, I’d be fine with it.

Its good to weigh the pros and cons of letting your daughter go on this trip. Given that she’s planned everything, including train times and costs, and that she’s shown responsibility with previous outings, it might be a good opportunity for her to have some independence.

However, it’s natural to have concerns about her safety and the length of the trip.
It might help to consider how she’s managed similar situations in the past and whether she has demonstrated reliability and good judgment. If you feel comfortable, you might also want to set some clear expectations for communication and safety before she goes. Ultimately, trusting your daughter’s ability to handle this while balancing your concerns could be key in making your decision.

Remember its sometimes very important to put our trust in our kids and give them the opportunity to explore! I hope everything works out for you and your daughter!

I will be talking to the mother of one of the friends to make sure she is ok with it and the plan is the same. I’ve met her one friend she stays here. My daughter at hers she seems nice and sensible

I’d be fine with it as long as she has a power bank to be able to keep her phone charged, and also that she knows how to get back to the station and get the train on her own in the unlikely event she gets separated from everyone or something happens.

The only issue I can think of is potentially the danger of drinking/doing drugs around water. But I guess that could happen if they went to the local canal/river. The beach will be lifeguarded presumably? I'm not saying they'll do those things but it's just the only thing I can think of that could be a worry. She sounds sensible. Make sure she buys a flexible ticket in case she misses the train though. As long as the other kids parents are aware and fine with it, I reckon it sounds like a nice thing for them to do.

Thank you, that means a lot. Sometimes I find it hard to trust her but teen girls are very tricky 😂she is however very streetwise and very independent.

I am very anti drugs she seen the effects it’s had on my family so I think she would make the right choices. We live next to a canal and river and is always out so ye I trust her in that context. I will be asking her only to paddle in the water not go out. We used to give near the sea so she does enjoy swimming but without me there it’s a no and hopefully I can trust her not to

@Busylittlebebe it sounds like she's very responsible. I'm glad she's anti drugs. I wasn't implying she did them, but I know some teens do dabble. And she's used to being near water. Yeah, all sounds really good to go ahead.

Yes I would let her. My DDs are early 20s now but started doing this sort of thing at 15. Scary but you have to let them go.

Are all the friends as water-savvy as her? The beach and a group of teens is a pretty dangerous combo. What would your DD do if one of the friends decided to swim and got into trouble? I would only consider this if it was a fully life-guarded beach known to be relatively safe for swimming. I'd be giving a very serious water safety talk too.

As long as she has phone, cash and bank card. Maybe an extra power bank for her phone too.

I wouldn't track her.