What could be reasons for social services involvement?

[flowersForRosie]

Dd met up with her friend yesterday and afterwards friend was going to meet with her dad. Her parents recently separated and every Saturday afternoon friend would go see her dad. Yesterday, friend said her dad was at the park so dd could stay with them a bit as it was on the way home.
Dd called and asked me if it was ok and I said of course.
I knew friends parents and thought of them as really friendly people.

Dd returned home and I asked if friend's dad dropped her off ( he had many times before ). Dd said no as they were with social services and friend can't be left on her own with dad.

I instantly got a bad feeling. Before they separated, dd had been on sleepovers, camping trips, days out with friend and family. It instantly got me wondering why this could be.

Why would a father not be allowed to see his own children without social services being present? To me the children seemed very well cared for. They are well mannered, always clean, smart clothes, nutritious meals. Honestly, they seemed perfect.

It could be sinister or it could be that he’s agreed to supervised contact for some reason because an allegation has been made and is being investigated. His ex could have accused him of something, which may or may not be true.

This, basically.
Also, how old are the children?

Their children are 11,14 & 17.
I think I will have to say to dd she can't see friend on Saturdays. I feel uncomfortable about it. It's a tricky situation as I can't just ask what's going on but at the same time if it's something sinister I quite obviously don't want my dd involved in any way.

Malicious allegations following separation are not unusual. Parents who cannot help themselves but to use their children as means to point-score against their ex.

It could also be something genuinely sinister. Maybe the separation came about because of the disclosure of this risk.

Either way, he's either deemed a risk to children, or is under investigation to assess the risk.

What for? One or more of physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse or neglect.

Don't stop your daughter seeing her friend, just facilitate them seeing each other in a different way.

Regardless of the reason (and it could be a lot of things, on quite a sliding scale), having her friends drop her isn't what the girl needs.

Oh no, they are very good friends and I hope that remains the case! I would not stop dd seeing friend, just not on a day her dad will be there.

I think you’re being a bit over dramatic - surely it’s safe as social services are going to be there anyway?

if you’re friends with the mum could you just have a coffee with her and ask her how things are going and if you should be concerned?

And it may be that her dad says he prefers it to just be his dd anyway if he doesn’t see her very much

My ex had supervised contacts due to his DV toward Me, not the Children

However, and rightfully so, the SS decided, when we split for good, that He could only see them in a contact centre with a SW present
Eventually He did get to have them every 4th weekend, after he had moved away to live with his Mother
She was always present but he did not harm the kids..
They are grown up now

I am aware of someone who was supervised because they didn't support the living arrangements made for the child.

It isn't necessarily anything child related. My friend's son could only see his father with supervision for years because the father had shouted at and one one occasion pushed my friend. He is a massive asshole, but no threat to children, and once the dust finally settled he can now see his son unsupervised again.

Don't drop to the worst conclusion. Sometimes it is because the resident parent won't allow any contact unless supervised until an actual agreement is made or ordered by the court. A friend agreed to this just so he could see his kids. The judge was not impressed that the mother had insisted on this when it came to court and he was allowed to take the children immediately for 2 weeks as it was just as summer holidays started and he got the contact order he requested because the Judge said the mother was being totally unreasonable.

Why don't you ask the child's mother why he has to be supervised seeing his children. As your daughters there I think it's a reasonable question to ask and you can make an informed decision then.

It could be anything, from sexual abuse, to physical abuse towards the mum, the kids or both, or emotional abuse towards the kids, or him having a mental breakdown or a mental health episode which means supervision is prudent.

Regardless of the reason, if you're not comfortable with your DD being around him, it's totally fair enough. They can see each other the other 6 days a week.

I just can't get my head around it to be honest. I don't know what could have happened. They just seemed so 'normal'.
Of all the scenarios mentioned, I'm guessing it's more of a case the mother has requested supervised contact until an official arrangement has been made.
I'll just keep to my plan of letting dd see friend any other time than when she's with her dad for now.

I think that is a wise decision

DD still see's friend and friend see's her Dad.

Win Win