The crazy emotions of raising a teenager

[Alionstailsunflower]

So…. I don’t want to waffle on, I just appreciate others feelings on this.
I do remember what it was like to be a teenager.:.all I ever craved was for my mother to say she wanted to watch a movie with me , spend time , go shopping etc…. as a teen looking back it would have been an absolute dream! now a mother to a teen myself , I just can’t get my head around the fact she does not have those same feelings?
It almost makes me feel proud because I think she doesn’t need it because she has that stability I never had but …then sad because then have I been to much that what I give is taken for granted (if you see previous post .. daughter of drug addict and personality disorder).

nothing wrong with that…just seeking others who feel the same or experienced how I feel as I am a minority within the people I know.

Thanks for taking the time to read.

It will likely come with time. Up until she was about 17 DD never wanted to spend time with me, constant bickering and general teenage pushback - now aged 20 we are closer than ever, it is like having a little best friend and she very happily invites me on girly lunch dates, trips to the theatre etc.

It is certainly a great thing though that she is independent and doesn’t feel the need to emotionally rely on you - a big part of DD and I’s closeness is due to the fact that she has had a very hard few years health wise. We were forced to bond in ways which we hadn’t before. I am sure that if she had continued on the ‘regular’ teenage trajectory (and I wish for her sake that this was the case) we would have a very different, more distant relationship.

Oh bless you.
I think you want what you don't have and your DD not "wanting" you is a sign she is secure you will be there for her.

I absolutely love both of your responses.

I have women much younger than me , who have become by best friends say, the same the thing! It’s just difficult to still not question yourself and worry about them at the same time and feel you have not quite done enough as mother.

I absolutely forgive my mum, it took me till the age of 25 to understand that is okay if you’ve had a bad past etc but also okay to move on and live my life ( of course it is deeper than that but cutting it short)… now being in my 30s, i choose to not have her in my life.

I only think of my children and want to be everything that she is not.
Everything you both said hit the nail on the head Thankyou

I would really love to hear other people who connect with this to share their feelings on also x

I am very sorry that you have had to have that with your daughter , I will not pry! But Thank-you so much for sharing, I appreciate you xx

ofcouse … But it’s not quite the same as having your own thread and the dynamic of my pervious post that comes with it, too many people i find is overwhelming .

thanks though :)