So upset at myself

[ThisPeachSnake]

I grew up in a house full of yelling and verbal abuse. It was awful, and now my family relationships are completely shattered.
I told myself I would never be let it be like this for my child/ren.

Tonight, I yelled at my son (21 months) for not going to sleep. One of those nights where he was so clearly tired, screaming and saying MAMA MAMA MAMA. It took about an hour of screaming, standing up in his cot, refusing to be laid down and saying HUG until I just completely snapped.

I feel so awful. I'm trying hard to breathe and take deep breaths. Does this happen from time to time or am I a horrible parent?

It happens, you are not a shit parent, 21 months is a bloody testing time! Does DS usually struggle to go to sleep or is it a one off? I’m struggling to get my 2.5 year old to sleep at the moment because it’s so hot and muggy x

You are human. You cannot be perfect all the time.

Good parents worry about being good parents.

Go outside/stand by an open window and take some deep, long breaths.

You're doing a good job, you can't be patient every second of the day.

He's just been more difficult the past couple of days. He may be teething, but he often sleeps for 2-2.5 hours at nursery which probably isn't helping!

He's just such a sweet little boy, I feel bad. Tbf he didn't react when I shouted, and it did get him to close his eyes! Yikes.

He may be teething or it’s just a blip. He’s at that stage where he can’t quite tell you what’s wrong, or he doesn’t know it himself! You’re doing just fine, it’s hard work at this age. I’ve been where you are and thoroughly beaten myself up for doing the same thing but just take a minute to take a breather (outside if possible, for five minutes to take yourself away!) and then get back in there being consistent and getting him back to sleep. You’ve got this!

I experienced a similar household growing up. I've got two children aged 3 and 18 months. It happens. We're only human. We're exhausted and they test like hell at this age. Forgive yourself and move on, everything will be fine x

You realised you did something you didn't want to do. Next time, you'll do something different. We've all done it. Be kind to yourself.