Time or Money?!

[unluckychucky]

Currently work 2 days a week. Have been offered a full time role with a different company - crazy benefits and more money. My 3 year old goes to nursery 2 days already, and we can bump this to 3 days but can’t do a full week as the days aren’t available. The other 2 days she can be at home with me, according to the new employer, whilst I work but I don’t know how that is going to successful. My husband works full time, mostly at home and often takes TOIL so some weeks he’s only working 4 days.

Everyone is telling me it’s too good an opportunity to miss out on but I can’t help feeling it’s the wrong decision?! I value time with my little one very much, and I know these early years come and go very quickly. The risk is, I don’t know if I’ll get a job opportunity like this again.

Would compressed hours or dropping to 80-90% to give you a day off be an option?
I dropped down to 4 days for my sanity after having my daughter it still allows me my career but I also get a day off to cope with life and spend time with my daughter. I am on 80% hours but I have colleagues that are on 90% split over 4 days to give a day off but less of a drop in pay and role.

I could do 4 days a week but I still think that's a long amount of time to be away from my little one, but then again I don't know if I’m being too soft!

I don't think this sounds like a good idea - I work from home and there's no way I could do my job properly AND care for my three year old. Unless your job doesn't require any phone calls or zoom meetings at all and can genuinely be done in your own time?

I would negotiate to four days on the basis you won't be able to give new job 100% with your child at home twice a week. I'm sure your employer will appreciate this too.

I don't understand how you can parent a three year old and work at the same time.

Crazy benefits and more money sound worth it in the long run.
Take the 4 days a week option so that you're down to one day a week to parent your three year old during work hours and try to fudge it.

In the long run if the benefits and money are good enough then your three year old will really benefit when she's school age.

This!!

My employer has just specifically banned it. We had to do it in lockdown, but it really doesn't work for either the child under about 9, or the employer, and just stresses out parents!!

If it feels like a good opportunity, then it is...
I'm a single parent to a 2 year old. I was working part time from home Mon-Fri 9am to 1pm. He was at home with me (with my bosses knowledge) and it was manageable as he was still 1 at the time and I just worked mornings. He started 2 full days nursery when he turned 2, and 3 months later I was made redundant.
I was adamant I would only I would only take another part time job because I didn't want to miss out on these early years with him. I was approached about a full time job that was a role I'd wanted for years, excellent pay and benefits but I had the blinkers on and ruled it out using the excuse the hours wouldn't work as I wouldn't get back in time to pick up my child from nursery. The company agreed to change my hours so I could start and finish 30 mins earlier than offices hours, so I decided it was worth pursuing the interview process. I was offered the job quickly and honestly, had a lot of anxiety about making a decision on it because I needed an income, but it meant changing my plans and giving up this extra time with him while he's still so young.
I accepted, put my boy in full time nursery and it's been the best decision ever! He is over 2 and a half now and absolutely thriving in full time nursery. They do more for him there in the day than I was able to do previously due to working. He's active all day, his confidence around groups of children has come on leaps and bounds. His speaking and general development has improved massively. And I'm personally in a much better place mental health wise, for being around people again (after working from home for 4 years). Plus finally much more stable.
This decision will be tough for you, but it doesn't mean it will be a bad choice by accepting it. It may be worthwhile looking for a nursery setting where your child can go more days in the week, unless they're due to start school soon?
Congrats on job offer and good luck with making the right choice for your family 🤞🏻

You can't in my opinion but it was their suggestion on the basis that as long as the work is done, it doesn't really matter when.

@californiaisdreaming That's all I keep thinking, the benefits of the additional money and flexibility in the long run would be amazing but then I feel guilty for thinking that as I'd be choosing money over time with my toddler.