I’m in tears please help my nearly 3 year old sleep

[Weloveflowerss]

Please help, she will not go to bed on her own anymore. Was a great sleeper but now wants me to hold her hand till she sleeps and then wakes every 2 hours wanting me to hold her hand again until she falls asleep. Doesn’t want a night light or lullaby machine on. What can I do? We’ve cut her nap in half to 45 mins, tried not to give her one but made everything 10x worse. I’m so exhausted

If you actually want some sleep can she co sleep if not make a bed on the floor next to yours I bet she will sleep. I did it with my four they all grow out of it. It is probably just preparation anxiety.

I would take her in with you or sleep with her till it passes, it will pass its a little fear/insecurity phase she's going through.

I tried co-sleeping when we went through similar, but it really wasn't for me. I was waking all the time terrified something would happen her. In the end, every time she woke I would go into her, reassure her, and then say "its bedtime now, mama is going to sleep in her bed, night night" and repeat and repeat. Every night the need for reassurance lessened.

Settle and leave.
Repeat.
Settle and leave each time, don't interact, just give her a pat and leave.

But you still won't get any sleep if you keep doing it all night.

The idea is the reassurance becomes less and less and shorter and shorter each night until its not needed anymore. Theres no overnight fix unfortunately!

No, you won't get much sleep initially. Might take a good number of hours 😩

Thanks all, the problem is everytime I go in to settle her she becomes worse and says cuddle and then I cuddle her and leave and she just cries and screams, I think I might have to just co sleep 😴

We set up in the bed room there was a little sofa bed so I just slept on that it does pass

Ds at that age was the same. We sort of coslept if needed. What we did do was go on a special shopping trip to get a very special cuddly toy which Ds believed had magic keep safe and sleepy powers!!! This cuddly did wonders and as long ad it was there he settled quickly. Ds is 17 now and his cuddly still resides at the end of his bed!!!!

Okay, so you're clearly much nicer than I am, but when this happened with us I took it as a sign that going in to settle DS was a waste of time as it was getting him worked up instead of calming him down. So we had a talk (not at bedtime) about what the bedtime routine was, how many times I would (or would not) go in etc., and why, and then I just stuck to my guns and did it. It was hard, but he honestly never cried for very long and it didn't take that many nights before he was comfortable with the new regime. I think he finds it easier to relax when he's not constantly scheming to stop me leaving, trying to think of one more thing to ask for, etc. I tell him I'll come back and check on him when I've walked the dog.

Do a substitute for the hand - you hold teddies paw and she holds teddies paw. Teddy is a magic teddy and can hold hands just the same as mummy can, do that until she falls asleep a couple times then slowly move towards you giving teddies paw a squeeze and teddy a cuddle and putting all your cuddles and hand hols in teddy and sitting while she holds teddy without you holding it too, then to you leaving room?

It won’t take long. First few nights will be hell but she will learn.

So I’ve tried all the suggestions and none have worked 😭 took her 2 hours to settle, she kept finding books and toys in her room that she wanted so I had to keep going in to give them to her so she can read/play in her cot, if I refused she went absolutely mad, what do I do? Thank you all

Drop the nap, cuddle her to sleep, leave her when she is asleep and when she wakes again but it’s after bedtime just sleep in her bed. In a few months time you can start to sort the cosleeping out.

If she's nearly 3, does she need to be in a cot? Maybe she'd feel more independent in an open bed. Then she can fetch a book herself (and won't bother about it as it isn't inaccessible any more)

Does she actually need a 45 min nap? Both of mine by 3 had no naps or if anything a Power Nap. Could she be teething or anything that's waking her up?
I feel your pain op, dd2 was like this when she was 2, you need a consistent routine for when she wakes, as little interaction as possible, hold her hand or pat her back etc but don't give her lots of attention etc and just grab the sleep when you can. She will grow out of it or by altering naps etc you'll figure it out

3 is quite old for naps and cot I'd have thought? Plus once they're in a bed easier to cuddle them and slide out.

I'm no expert though, we're working on my 3 year old not needing a cuddle to sleep. But if they wake they now quietly walk to our room and slide into bed, means we get plenty of rest at least.

Do gentle sleep training, the one where you slowly move out of the room. Don't co-sleep or you'll make it worse