Giving up work

[beeboo92]

My little one is currently 3.5 weeks old and I'm not due back to work until next March however I'm already beginning to weigh up my options and really I'd love nothing more than to give up work until she is in full time nursery school to look after her as I feel ideally this will give her the best start.
Plus the cost of childcare (even with free funded hours) is ridiculous.

Does anyone have experience with this (in the UK) and were you able to claim any form of financial help if your partner was working?

Giving up work is a massive decision - firstly it could depend on your workplace. If you get anything over and above stat maternity pay you may have to return or pay it back

dependent on your marital status as well - if you were to split and not be married you could be financially vulnerable

will you keep up pension contributions? Will your partner be open and supportive with finances and is he happy to be the sole breadwinner

a career break can also mean it is harder to return as well - job market is very competitive

I wouldn’t and didn’t give up work for many reasons when my kids were little

I did this, resigned whilst on maternity leave at the end of 2022 and DS2 is now 18 months.

I am so grateful I have had this extra time with him, time I didn’t have with DS1 as I went back when he was 8 months. I love that I can pick DS1 up from school and drop him off with no wrap around care, getting home at 6 o’clock, eating dinner at 6/7pm and barely seeing him. Cramming all household jobs in at the weekend. Now I am (mostly!) on top of everything. There is a home cooked meal on the table at 5 o’clock every day.

When I was in work I absolutely dreamed of quitting and being at home with babies, however I have been surprised that I am actually desperate to go back to work now. I’ve been job hunting for about 3 months, looking for the right role. I miss having my own money, I miss my reading/podcast time on the commute. I miss wandering into town on my lunch break and getting a coffee in peace. I miss using my brain and having a life outside these 4 walls. It depends on your disposition I suppose but I have learnt that I personally am not built to be a SAHM.

You’re going to struggle to claim any financial help for choosing to leave work to be a SAHM, that’s not what UC is there for. If you can afford not to work though that’s entirely your decision.

I would say though if you’re not married you’d be absolutely crazy to even think about doing this.

If you need to rely on state financial assistance to be able to stop work, then it's not a viable option imo.

If you do stop working, you need to think about pension contributions for your pension, national insurance contributions to ensure you qualify for the state pension. What is your housing situation at the moment - if your relationship ended would you be homeless? Do you have the kind of job where you can step back into an equivalent role in a few years time?

That’s not true RE UC - if her household income is below the threshold they will be entitled to UC whether she voluntarily quits work or not. I don’t think they make you look for work whilst you have a child under the age of 3.

I’m a sahm. I claim the NI element of child benefit, so just the ‘stamp’ for state pension.

You need to carefully consider if you will need to pay back enhanced maternity pay, what you will do for pension, how you will get back into work, are you married and is your relationship stable, it’s hard work and not for everyone, especially if you have less money. Also if you mention returning to work when they start school nursery, this would be the most difficult time to find childcare for 13 weeks school holiday because many provider won’t look after children this young.

Have you considered working part time, or even compressed hours? Has your partner considered working part time/compressed hours? Then you could do a combination of each of you with your child plus some childcare. You could do 2 days with you, 2 with your partner and one at childcare, or some other combination.

It's far easier to work when then are small then when they are at school.

Is part time possible? I loved the baby stage and felt I got lots of time to read etc while my babies were breastfeeding, but I found life harder with a toddler when it felt like they wanted lots from me and made lots of mess! I found my days with my little ones were tough and liked being able to have time away from them at work - I was able to enjoy my time with them more. Decent, well paid part time work is hard to find and very competitive - if you are in a position where you are valued, employers will often do what they can and let you go part time. I would recommend asking for 3 days per week if you can.

I was a SAHM for 3 years. No I don't think there's anything you can claim other than child benefit (although this may depend on what your partner/husband earns). You obviously save on child care expenses though. I was technically still employed though but on a career break so I didn't resign completely (felt safer somehow than completely giving up work). Good luck. It was worth it for me.

I stopped working when I had dc1 and I have been a sahm for 6 years now. Financially we didn't need any assistance as DH is a high earner, but I believe UC don't expect you to work with a child under 3 so if your household income is low enough you'd be entitled.

I have been very happy being a sahm, we have plenty of activities locally to keep the dc busy and we are out of the house most of the day. My dcs were with me every day from birth until age 2 when they went to preschool in the mornings. That gave me a nice break to do things like go to the gym, read and catch up with friends. I planned my age gaps so the eldest was in preschool when dc2 was born, so I got lots of one to one time with each baby.

I get NI credits until my youngest is 12 and you should be entitled to this with child benefit. Personally I pay into a private pension too as well as we can afford it.

I don't miss being at work at all, but I never particularly enjoyed working. I think that being a sahm isn't for everyone though and the toddler years are hard, and some people miss the status of having a job title and chatting with colleagues. So you need to think carefully about what motivates you and your personality type.

Partner? Not husband?

do not give up work unless married or in civil partnership

Baby is only 3.5 weeks old. Honestly give it 6 months before you make these kind of decisions.

You are still sleep deprived and hormonal.

How easy would it be to get another job in your field / desired field after a few years out.

As pp said, working when they’re at nursery is easier than at school.

I'd not make any decisions until you're nearing the end of your mat leave - you might change your mind

Great idea @beeboo92 . I wish I knew the state would fund me to stay at home when my kids were little.

Partner? No.

And why do you need financial assistance? Is it because your total income isn't high enough or is it because your partner won't contribute?

One of the best bits of advice I got was "whatever you do, go back to work, don't have a gap on your CV, you'll never recover". I suppose it depends on the industry you're in but I know in mine I'd never be able to return to this sort of salary with a career break beyond standard maternity leave.

I also think you'll struggle to find state financial support if you CHOOSE to be a sahm. If you're forced to because your child has additional needs or because you're unwell, that's one thing. But sadly the economy is now built on the two working parents model, and most mums work not because they personally want to but because they have to in order to financially survive.

but not everyone has a ‘career’ ….my DD is 30:….she quit work 4 years ago form a part time job just a £1 an hour over minimum wage…..she said she will return to work maybe when her youngest is at high school….her DD are 9 and nearly 6 …..her DP 32 is self employed ….they live within their means but certainly don’t struggle ( go abroad twice a year….nice 3 bed home)…they didn’t pay nursery fees….they don’t pay after or before school club or holiday club…..they don’t need 2 cars …..it’s the same for lots of mums in my area who are SAHMs ( NW England)

After my 2nd/3rd children (twins) I didn't return to work initially. Be aware though if you are being paid enhanced maternity pay from work they may well be a clause around having to return to work. Check what's in your contract. I had to return to work for 3 months otherwise I would have had to pay back my enhanced maternity pay (I was able to use annual leave for these 3 months though).

After another 12 months (twins are 2) I returned to work elsewhere but very part time (around 16 hours per week).

I wasn't able to claim any financial help.

PP's stating about not having a gap in your career I think it depends on what you do. My salary is actually more now than prior to having a career break. And I was able to negotiate working patterns to fit in with my family.

I would however say do not make any decisions about returning to work when your little one is so young. With my first DD I couldn't see myself returning to work initially. But once she got to around 9 months my thoughts on this started to change. Although I was fortunate enough to reduce my hours to 3 days per week.

I'm not planning on making any decisions just compiling possibilities :)

Put in your details as if you weren't working on a Benefits calculator like turn2us to give you an idea on what you could be entitled to regarding universal credit .

@Kitkat1523 I wouldn't say I have a "career" really, I just know we wouldn't be able to manage on one salary at all and if I had taken the time out I wouldn't have been able to go back to where I was, not even nearly, so we wouldn't have been able to manage! Unfortunately DH doesn't earn enough to support us both so for me, it wouldn't have been an option as we wouldn't have been able to manage on just DH's salary and a part time or minimum wage salary. It's worth OP thinking about if that's also her situation.

For a million reasons, please don’t do it.

If you're married do it. You won't regret it.

You've got years and years of work ahead of you - till 67 or more. I'm not entirely convinced that having a couple of years off is the career suicide we've been led to believe.