DD copying DN bad behaviour

[Butterfly134]

Looking for some advice really, in the past 6 months DS has decided to go back to work full time and leave nieces with different family members. This change in dynamic has resulted in DN (4yo) behaviour becoming unbearable (hitting, spitting, running out on to road etc) the problem is , DS and brother in law laugh these behaviours off and don't seem to mind said behaviour. Recently, DD (3) has started copying DN whenever we are around them.

How do I stop DD from doing this? We have worked very hard on DD behaviour the past year and now I'm struggling on how to stop the copying. And advice would be much appreciated.x

The same way you manage her behaviour generally. Consistency, boundaries and consequences.

Explain to her those behaviours are unacceptable, it's no different to copying kids at nursery or school.

Do they spend a lot of time together? If you feel it would help you could cut back.

We have friends whose children behave in ways I do not accept from my child. He's nearly 3 and he understands when I have a serious, quiet word in his ear that "just because X is screaming, doesn't mean you can scream."

I lay out the same consequences I would if those children weren't there. "If you cannot play with that toy without shrieking I will have to put it away."

I also minimise contact with these children and keep interaction to outdoor meet ups and not in my own home as I can't bear screaming, shouting children. This will be more difficult with a family member though. But I remember as a child learning that other people's parents have different rules- it's just something your daughter will come to learn.

If you stick to your boundaries and consequence your daughter will learn good behaviour from you and won't copy behaviours like hitting and spitting.

Thank you all for managing a response. I think I will carry on with reminding her about not copying behaviour from others and being consistent in praising her positive behaviours. Your ideas are much appreciated.