Having one of those nights…DILEMMA

[TheGreenPombear]

I’m a first time mum with a 5 month old baby and she’s a perfect easy chilled baby. I have good support network family and friends and a supportive husband.

I’m having one of those late night thoughts that leads to sadness as much as I love life with my baby and little family , I also would like a break from baby and being needed constantly! I’m craving a holiday so bad with my friend, I feel guilty as would like to go with my little family but I also don’t want to as it won’t feel like a proper break for me.

I’m not really sure why I’m posting this I guess I need reassurance from other mums that I will eventually get some kind of a break. I don’t need a week off just maybe a couple of nights from being a mum although I know you can never switch off as a mum but I’d like to give it a try! Haha

I’ve done a lot in my life so I’m not resenting having a baby but only thing I miss is being spontaneous. I have to remind me husband that I can’t just up and leave or arrange stuff like he could as I’m the default parent. He tries to be there for me but then I feel guilty like I’m just dumping my baby.

I’ve arranged for my baby to start nursery soon only for a couple of hours per week but already got some comments about how it’s too soon and she’s so young. I don’t really know what I need right now other than offload on here.

Hello!
I have a baby the same age and he started daycare a few weeks ago at 5 months for one day - I don't return to work till January.

It's been great and I get a break to clean the house, meal prep, watch a film, shop alone!! It's bliss and highly recommend.

When he increases his days in January I am hoping it means he will already be so familiar with the environment and happy so I won't need to worry when returning. He loves it so far and he is really smiley when we pick him up having a blast (loving all the attention too!)

It's not wrong to want a break. We have a whole human dropped in our lives and it's hard to imagine how all consuming it is pre-baby (even though we are warned haha) so be easy on yourself.x

It's totally normal to want a break and time to feel like you.

I bet your dp gets that with no guilt so why can't you?

It's good to have time for yourself as you will appreciate your lo all the more for it.

I'd think about what you want that to look like? A few hours to have a bath or go out? A night away? With partner? Or friends? If you have a good support network I'm sure they would love to help you.

Dilemna

Definitely normal, I don’t think you can be prepared for how much they change your life! I went on a hen party when DD was 7 months old, and cried dancing in a bar because I felt like my old self. She’s 9 months now and I’m able to do a more socially, and it does get easier

The default parent thing is so true, I went to a wedding recently without DD and it felt like so much more effort than going with her anywhere because I felt I had to get everything sorted for her

Let go of the mum guilt OP! It's fine to need a break sometimes and it's good for both of them to leave the baby with her dad.

You are still your own person who has your very own needs and deserves a break away, time out..
No mum guilt needed.
This is where our grandparents, family, and friends may offer to help, and you take that opportunity.
Planning a few nights break away does a world of good for you.
Plan it, make it happen!

Make sure you make this a priority as you navigate parenting.
Ps,, good for baby to be used to that separating and spend time with others.