We missed nursery graduation ceremony

[ToddlerMumma]

My youngest had her graduation ceremony on Saturday. Except she didn't go because I didn't know about it. She's been at that nursery since she was 1. She'd made a little black hat for it last week. They had talked about it loads.
My husband does her pick ups. He has had a brain injury so can't do any admin, life management etc. they had told him about it but that message never got home.
I've messaged them to apologise. They waited for us at the start as they expected us to be there. We've been using that nursery for 5 years, my eldest went there, her ceremony was soo cute and I'm just so sad I missed my youngest.
I'm trying so hard not to be angry with my husband. It's not his fault he can't remember stuff. I'm just so sad and disappointed I missed it. Sorry, had to offload that. I can't talk to him about it as he's being defensive because he knows it's on him.

Aw that’s such a shame. I feel for you. Youve every right to be upset. Do they know of your husbands condition? If so a letter may have been more helpful.

Do they really expect frazzled parents to remember details at pickup? Ours might mention things, but we also got emails or flyers.

Do they not have a newsletter? Paper or digital? I’d expect the dates for things like this to be sent out somewhat formally not just by mouth. Also yes, do they know your DH has a brain injury? I think they should be apologising to you for not conveying the information properly

Ah that sucks. If its any consolation, I went to my son's and some twat sat at the front holding an ipad up in front of me the whole time, so I didn't see anything. Also the kids don't remember it either. Get nursery to take a nice picture of her in her hat and do something special with her.

Our nursery sends out emails , surely the staff know your family well and know your dh has a brain injury that affects his memory. They could have contacted you too.

Did they honestly only tell people in person at pick up that sounds like a recipe for people to forget?

Was it not in the newsletter, was there no email or anything? If not honestly I'm amazed you're the only ones who didn't turn up?

We had ours on Saturday. My DC got overwhelmed and had a huge meltdown.

If I were you I'd pick her favorite restaurant and then go to a lovely venue for photos, just like you would with a wedding couple, and take the hat. Do a fun photoshoot and I guarantee that'll be more memorable and lovely for both of you than the meltdown-inducing nursery one.

They have an app where they put updates but there was nothing in there about it. They had loads of hats and cupcakes left over today as they said lots of parents didn't come. Probably because they didn't send a message!
I'm so gutted. I know nursery graduations are a bit OTT but I'd have loved it. Waah

I hear you- my husband has similar problems for different reasons. It’s so frustrating and yet you can’t be annoyed. We missed nursery graduation due to a holiday. It doesn’t matter 9 years later - he got a cute photo in a gown and hat outside nursery that he still has in his bedroom actually. The actual ceremony wasn’t important, marking the transition was.

Seems very weird there was no mention on app /email etx

Just a message at pick up

Do they know of your husbands condition
?

Going forward for school make sure office has your email /details for anything

Most schools have apps or email /weekly newsletter and Info in there

Then I wouldn't be too hard on your DH. It appears that many didn't get the memo and if anything it should be the nursery apologising to parents for arranging an event and not clearly communicating with parents.

Sounds like they forgot to actually send out information if lots missed it! Or even asked for attendance info for seating/catering?

Thank you, you're all making me feel better
DH has had 2 strokes but they are prob not aware of the mental impact on him. He hides it well
There were posters up about it (which he can't read) and they have been talking about it all last week. It just went over his head
I like the idea about a special meal with photos, I'll defo do that, thanks for the suggestion

The school have dojo which they put EVERYTHING on! So at least I won't miss anything when she's in school!

They had loads of hats and cupcakes left over today as they said lots of parents didn't come. Probably because they didn't send a message!

Perhaps feedback to the Nursery, in a nice way, that next year it would help families if they put it on the app. Won't help you, I know, but it will help a lot of families next year.

I would also suggest that you look at ways (together) to help your dh retain any information given verbally. Back in the day it would have been a notepad and pen but I presume there are all sorts of ways on a modern phone to record a sentence or 2 to keep notes?
It must be so challenging for him, to have had strokes at such a young age

Your DD won't remember, your DH feels rubbish about it as it is, you feel bad you missed out probably with a good dollop of mum guilt for missing it.

I would make her a little gown, DDs was literally a rectangle of satiny material with a necktie and her hat and do others have said, a little photoshoot and a special meals.

Our local assembly rooms does a lovely themed afternoon tea with a children's version in the summer, DD and I go every year the weekend before school starts. If you have a similar venue you could start the tradition now to celebrate the end of the school year. You can have a nice collection of photos up to year 11 if you kept it up.

Put her in the hat and take a nice pic of her outside the nursery. That’s the type of thing I would have been gutted to miss too but try to move on and mark the occasion your own way