3y/o only wants his dad constantly

[blueberry23]

At first I tried to tell myself it was a phase, but it's probably been over a year now (and worse since his baby sibling arrived).

He never, ever wants to hold my hand, cuddle up with me, he only wants his dad. He will play with me if his dad isn't available, but it feels reluctant. He tells me constantly I am not his favourite and that he only loves daddy.

He naturally gravitates towards his dad if he falls over and hurts himself - if his dad isn't around though, he will come to me but cry for his dad.

He misses his dad when he's at work, and asks constantly when he will be home.

His dad and I are trying to show a united front in that he has to be pleasant to me and he gets told off if he is rude/unkind to me.

I'm worried that this will continue and our relationship is being damaged as he just doesn't seem to have any interest in me at all!

Has anyone else experienced this - any advice?

I completely sympathize it is very hurtful, my daughter goes in and out of mummy and daddy phases but the daddy phases are much longer and she is never mean to daddy like she is to me! Eg "go away mummy I don't like you". Just try and ride it out and I'm sure you will get a mummy phase again soon

That’s really hurtful and over a year is a long time. Surely it’s related to the new baby and the time you spend with the baby? Your son thinks the baby gets too much of you so he’s claiming his dad as “his”.

I genuinely feel your pain on this!! I went through the struggle of IVF, to then go into 30 weeks premature labour on the day of lockdown for my son to constantly disregard me.

I am the main caregiver who plays and socialises him, however dad will always come first. It has taken me 2 years to come to terms with this and accept that I am the default parent in his eyes. The rejection is soul destroying and my DH has no empathy towards my feelings and just thinks it a boy thing. Your not alone x

My DS is 4 and is obsessed with his dad, I don't really get a look in when he's around. He's fine with me when DH isn't around but to be honest I've just accepted it now. It used to really upset me but as long as he's happy that's what matters.