16 month old not walking or talking

[AnonymousFTM]

hi all, can’t believe I’m actually doing this but I think I need to get it out.

my beautiful wonderful 16 month old little boy is starting to feel quite behind. Sorry if this is long.

things he can do:

• crawl
• pull himself up to stand
• cruise around furniture
• respond to his name (75% of the time)
• high five
• reaches for things he wants if I’m holding them like his milk or a toy car
• lift his arms up to be picked up
• understand “ready”, “ready steady go”, “do you want to brush your teeth”, “get down safely” “look”
• play little games with me if I start them - like pushing a car across the room, going to get it and bring it back to me, rolling a ball back and forth.
• say “go” (mostly in response to ready steady), babble (mostly simple babbling like bababababa), and if you ask “what does a cow say” usually says “mmmmmmmoo”.
• sleep very well
• eat perfectly normally for a toddler - variety of textures and colours
• very interested in other people/world around him - watches other kids in the park or at soft play, looks at absolutely everything going on all the time if we’re out and about
• wants to get your attention - will come over to you not to show something but normally just to have you attention or if he’s interested in what you’re doing (singing, blowing bubbles etc).
• knows who I am (as his mum and only parent) and has clear recognition and wants to engage with other trusted people (childminder, grandparents, aunties) vs strangers.
• smiles and laughs loads. Finds the same things funny over and over again (like he remembers it’s funny). Smiles if you smile at him etc. has TONS of different facial expressions (many of them judgmental 😂).
• not bothered by noises like hoover.
• mostly follows my pointing at something especially if I say “look” but not always.

things he can’t do/are more concerning:

• clap, wave or point despite a lot of modelling. Generally doesn’t do much copying - sometimes will copy how I play with toys like banging a xylophone but generally doesn’t copy.
• walk independently and no interest in doing it holding hands or using a walker
• say other words except “go” and sometimes “moo” (sometimes tries to copy me saying duck and down but otherwise stares at me when I try to get him to use other simple words like up)
• follow directions like “where’s your car”, “give me the ball” unless it’s in the context of a game we’re already playing.
• doesn’t seem to understand things like “do you want more”, “are you hungry”, “do you want water”.
• loves spinning the wheels on his toy cars/toys that spin although not excessively just how he plays with them when he chooses those toys.
• doesn’t bring me things or show me things - if he’s struggling to get a toy to do what he wants he just moves on to playing with something else instead of asking for help. Sometimes he will bring a toy over and sort of throw it at me but not sure why he’s doing it 😂

We have speech therapy booked in for when he’s 18 months but I’m just so over feeling like he’s behind all the other similar age kids we know (which is quite a lot). Does anyone have any insights, any similar kids, anything to say to help me out. He watches ms Rachel, he loves her, but he doesn’t copy her (except he does say mmmmm a lot when watching her which I think is because she does it too).

thank you!

This all sounds like a very normal and healthy 16 month old. I understand the worries but with him doing so much in your first list I wouldn't worry too much, and if he's crawling about he's mobile enough for him atm. It's such a mixed bag what they all do and when. I'm friends with a mum who has a boy born the exact same day as my son (one this week) and he's not interested in walking yet whereas my son walked at ten months, however my son can't point while hers can, my son brings s books and hers dkesnt, her son says words in context like tata for goodbye while mine mostly copies if you prompt him and then only a few and hit and miss.
Another friends daughter could feed herself delicately at age one with a fork, say lots of words but didn't walk til she was 16 or 17 months etc, they're all so so different.
Naybe speak to health visitor if you're worried but he sounds like a normal baby from what you describe there, with alot of skills.

Thank you. I really needed to hear this today. I think it’s because he’s the last baby in his group of friends to walk (as of today) and it just sent me into a spiral. It’s nice to hear from other parents whose kids are on the later end for some milestones.

He sounds absolutely fine. Based on your really long lists of every little thing he does or does not do, I would say (and I genuinely mean this kindly) you should talk to someone about your anxiety.

My eldest didn't sit unaided until 9months, never crawled at all, started cruising at 14months, walking around 15m. My youngest started cruising at 9m, walking at 10m, and said first word at 11m.

My friend's baby in our NCT group started crawling at 13m and cruising/walking around 20m and said first word about 19m. Their second baby started doing it all much earlier around 12months.

Basically they're all different.

Yours sounds fine to me. Everything gets a little bit mad when they start to walk (you really will them to be able to do it and then you wish they couldn't when they start to wobble off in the wrong direction)! Enjoy whichever stage of development your child is in thy really do change so quickly 🥰

Thank you all. I really appreciate your comments. I do have GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) usually quite well managed, think I just got tipped over the edge today. Will get back to my management strategies.

also hopefully it goes without saying that of course I love my son more than anything else in the entire world (went through solo ivf to have him) and absolutely nothing will ever change that.

My daughter was quite happy with cruising furniture. She started at 9 months and had no interest in walking until one Sunday around 15 months when she decided she would walk and on the Monday she started running
She and 3 words at 9 months at 20 months she still had 3 words but different words as with each word she learnt she lost a word she had known. At 2 she mostly communicated with pointing at 26 months she was talking in an age appropriate way.

She did the same with rolling. Rolled twice didn't roll again for 6 weeks then rolled continuously. She likes to wait until she has cracked it internally before doing it externally.
She is 4 in a few weeks and starts school in September with absolutely zero concerns about her being one of the youngest in the year.

Is he a good crawler? My boys were very fast at crawling, so they had no interest whTsever in trying to walk as for them it was slower. Very different from my eldest - she couodnt crawl so they she walked at 11 months. My boys were eventually persuaded to walk at 18 months becauswrthe playground was muddy and their wet knees were getting cold. They run all over the place now!!! Definitely not behind as a result.

DS didn't say anything except single words until he was nearly 2 then talked in sentences. He didn't crawl until 14 months, didn't walk until about 21 months but would cruise around the furniture. Then just got up and walked one day, forwards, backwards, no wobbling. He is fine, sporty and articulate.
DN said nothing much until he was 3 (at 18 studied astro-physics at university).

Hope he gets his normal checks.

He sounds fine, my son didn't walk until 18 months - they just do things at different times. Relax and enjoy him!

Your little boy sounds perfect. There may be a few things he's not doing . But there's lots he is doing.

My GS is 16 months to . He's only just started to crawl in the last week. He can pull himself up. But no cruzing. He babbles but no words. He gets excited when we talk to him. Laugh make playful sounds etc. He spins wheels. Picks something up drops it. Over and over.

I understand your worry! It's natural to compare our little ones, but development happens at their own pace. Your son sounds like he's thriving in many areas! Speech therapy at 18 months is a great step. Hang in there, mama, and enjoy this precious stage!

Sounds normal to me. Dd2 didn't walk or crawl until really late. She eventually walked with no warning at 20 months but could use her scooter by 25 months. Even now (at 8yo) she seems to prefer observing a skill, thinking about it and then suddenly can do it well. She is not a child that "practices".

Dd1 and dd3 we're quite " late" to walk too around 18 months but no issues with their development generally either.

It doesn't sound as if you have anything to worry about. He isn't 'behind'. There is a range of normal and that is exactly what it is ; it is normal not to be walking at 16 months although many are. It doesn't mean he has a motor problem or even that he will always be one of the weakest with his physical attributes. It is ' normal' .

Hi, i know this post is old but i could have written it myself right now. I go through fazes of worry and a completely different baby to my first who i see now was quite earlier with things. Would be really interested to know how are you and your little one getting on now?

Any update OP?