Potty training - managing my expectations

[ViaRia01]

We’re due to begin potty training soon. I understand that accidents may happen at the beginning and that’s obviously fine, I’m ready for spillages, extra laundry etc.

However…. If after 6-8 weeks, there are still some wee accidents - say once every few days - would you say that the child “is potty trained”? I’m curious as that’s what I’m seeing with friends and family around me but I would have thought regular accidents would suggest the “training” is ongoing and not complete.

Other examples are that child uses absorbent pads for naps and sleeps overnight in a nappy.

It doesn't matter I suppose, the child is on the way and will get there at some point, and parents are doing their best etc. I’m not trying to criticise them. I’m just trying to understand what I could hope for/ manage my own expectations when we begin the process with my son. M

I’ve heard about “potty training can be done in 3 days” but does that actually mean no more accidents, no extra precautions during nap/ sleep time?

thank you!

Nap/sleep time no - there is a hormone that makes you produce less wee while you sleep so until that kicks in dry at night is tricky!

Day time totally depends on the child. DS was dry after about 2 weeks but didn't do a poo on the toilet for three months 🤦🏻‍♀️

DD it was one weekend and that was it basically. But I think being the 2nd child made a difference as well as her determined personality!

Yes it did with mine. Took nappy off after a few tries using the potty. Then there was a couple wee accidents (when they say they have to go they mean they have to go RIGHT NOW). One poo accident that was traumatic enough it never happened again! Dry at night after less than a week. I kept close to home for the first week.
Caveat: there may still be the odd accident. But I'd say only a handful over the nextt six months and mostly because child is very absorbed and only realised the need to go too late to get to the toilet.
Though mine very rarely did it, quite often when having sleepovers the friend would say they might wet the bed, particularly boys.

We did in a weekend. First few months were great. A few months later there were a spate of accidents when they were so excited they forgot to use the potty. This went on for a few weeks at least. We didn’t change anything except continuously asking if they needed the loo. They soon went back to normal.

I would say this is completely normal, it’s like any new skill they have to learn so try not to make it too pressured for them. Nighttime dryness is hormonal as others have said so wait until they consistently wake up with dry nappies.

Night time and nap training usually is a lot later. Lots of kids that are potty trained in the day sleep in nappies or pull ups.

You'll look back and laugh at this, op!

It can be one step forward, two steps back. They get the hang of it but don't want to use potty in public, or get distracted easily, or have an accident and get put off the whole idea.

They often click with it fine, get loads of praise then a month or so down the line the praise stops and they decide there's not much in it for them and start wetting again.

They go through a phase of wanting more autonomy and just won't tell you, or they're ill, or they get cocky and leave it too late, or they're tired and miss the signals.

I'd prepare yourself for at least a year of accidents now and again.

Sleep training is tricky and as pp said, can be delayed until quite late. Pull ups are better than getting up once or twice a night and doing endless washing.

You too will use something absorbent on the bed. Double layering (waterproof cover, sheet, waterproof cover, sheet) lets you rip off top lot and there's a ready made dry bed. You never know when they'll be sick or whatever either, helps for that.

My 7yo still wets sometimes, mainly from laziness when she wakes in the morning.

Good luck! You'll look back on all those nappies wistfully :)

thanks everyone for the comments. Haha, perhaps it sounds naïve of me. I completely understand that some children pick it up sooner than others and that for some there may be lots of set back. I suppose what I couldn’t get my head around was referring to the child as having been potty trained but still having 2 or 3 accidents per week.

@MinniesCountdown I have began to read oh crap but, yes, child is over 2.5 years. Are you saying there’s no point trying that approach if child is over?

@MinniesCountdown -ah great, I’ll keep reading then. I think he was around 2.5 when I first picked up the book but I didn’t intend at that point to start right away tbh… so some time has passed but I think we’ll pick a day in August to begin properly.

thanks again !

I had one who cracked it within 3 days and overnight and one who took a few years and regressed at big stages like starting school!

honestly I went from smug boy mum to what in gods name did I do wrong with a girl 🤣🤣

Definitely not too late to do with an older child @ViaRia01 !! Haven’t done it with older child myself, but I’ve seen a few children have success with it at nursery later on. Good luck, I found the no pants part worked really well, mine was nearly two and we did it over a bank holiday weekend. Nursery staff were great when I said we are just doing loose trousers and no pants, they didn’t have an accident for months!!! Had a few accidents when we tried the pants and then was ok once they got used to it. You might find you have more accidents when you go to the pants stage as yours is older and more used to the comfort of a nappy/pants.

My second child was trained pretty reliably in three days (just two, used the Oh Crap book and followed it exactly).

My other daughter was still having regular accidents weeks on from starting but she did eventually improve, I say we considered her properly trained after three months but she could be dry for days at a time after three weeks or so. She was older when we started training and although we read the Oh Crap book we did our own thing a bit like sticker rewards and cloth training pants on outings.

Both of them were dry for naps almost immediately and dry at night fairly soon after daytime training. A nappy just at night isn't confusing for them, in the early days one a nap time is fine too.

I had one child who was potty trained and dry during the day after 2 weeks and dry at night a few weeks later.

And my other child took 6 months to be potty trained and dry during the day and 4 years to be dry at night.

They are all different. Don't be stressed if nothing goes to plan.