DS (10) having daytime wetting accidents

[CyanHare]

Hi, first time posting on here hope you can help.
My DS (10) has started to wet himself more frequently. He has always been more prone to having accidents than his peers and previously would wet himself 3-5 a year mainly at school. I just put this down to his age and thought he’d grow out of it.

However the last few months the problem has dramatically got worse. He is now wetting 2-3 times a week.

On one occasion he had an accident twice in the same day at school so I had to come from work to collect him as he had messed the spare clothes he initially got changed into.

Another time he had a bad accident in assembly in which according to his older brother “flooded the floor” and wet the children sat next to him.
I really worry for him.

He has a good group of friends but he told me yesterday that some kids have been giving him some stick saying “aww did miss have to clean you up again” and “you should be in nappies”. He is probably managing it better than me and is very mature about getting himself changed etc but I worry it’s going to affect him mentally in the long run. He says the urge to go but before he tries to get to the toilet it’s too late and he can’t stop.

My fear is this continues as he starts y6 in September and into secondary school which is a different kettle of fish entirely. We’ve been to the gp on a number of occasions to rule out uti, diabetes etc but they say there’s nothing more they can do. He’s started to wear pads but these aren’t very effective as he really soaks himself when he has an accident.

Does anyone have any experience of this happening to their children and/or is able to offer any advice.

Thank you.

Have you been sent to an incontinence specialist at all? Getting to the bottom of it seems the only solution. Experimenting with different kinds of pads etc is probably something you’re doing already?
I think you’re right that the move to secondary is a worry - a much harsher and less supportive environment in my experience

As pp said you need to go to an incontinence clinic. It’s not true that nothing can be done.

Has he not been referred to the enuresis clinic? Does he experience night time bedwetting. If he lacks a certain hormone then medication - desmopresson- replaces the hormone until his body can. My son was 15 when he stopped needing this medication. It is a simple fix if it is this but get him to the enuresis clinic ASAP.

Might there be a psychological reason for it (e.g. the bullying from his peers, or something else)? There is clearly a physiological factor but I wouldn’t rule out psychological ones too. I speak as someone who was bullied badly and still experienced bed wetting issues at age 13/14. I don’t believe the two were unconnected. So perhaps look into counselling of some kind too.

Thank you for your replies regarding the clinic. Would this be done through the GP as this has not been mentioned to me. I feel no one is taking this seriously.

He occasionally has a night time accident but it is no where near amount of times he wets during the day.

The bullying/ name calling only came on after the volume of his accidents went up so I doubt it’s something to do with that but obviously I can’t rule anything out. Like I said I think he’s managing well but I hope he isn’t putting on a brave face and bottling this up. We’ll have to sit down and talk about it.

As I mentioned when he doesn’t make it he’ll soak himself which is obviously easy for his class mates to spot. Also when picking him up from school he really smells strongly of urine. He has wipes and spray in his change bag but this clearly isn’t working. And tips on how to prevent this as obviously he can’t shower at school.

Thanks guys if you can’t tell I’m pulling my hair out.

I started wetting myself aged 8. I developed a pathological fear of asking to use the toilet in class.
I think it lasted a few months. I only have memories of it happening in year 4.
I guess the change was not getting over the fear but improved bladder capacity or control as I don't think I ever asked to use the toilet in class from then until leaving at 18.

Awful that your GP isn't taking this seriously, it must really affect his life. Can you see a different GP and ask to be referred to a enuresis clinic? You don't want this to get to the point where it is seriously affecting his self esteem, I think you need to really push for a referral, GPs are so shit sometimes unfortunately and will fob you off any way they can.

As a temporary measure, could he wear incontinence pants for school? To avoid the humiliation?

And yes, the GP should have referred you, ring them today and request it.

There’s also ERIC who you can look at for advice - it’s all types of peeing https://eric.org.uk/childrens-bladders/bedwetting/

Thanks for your help. I have an appointment with GP tomorrow. Regarding protection I’ve discussed this with DS and he is adamant he doesn’t want to wear anything that appears like a nappy as “I’m not a baby”. Even when I told him it would stop people noticing he was wet he was having none of it.

Does anyone know of any protection that appears like normal underwear and would be able to handle heavy wetting . We’re going on holiday next week, although I’m not looking for miracles overnight but I hope we can manage the accidents better.

Cheeky pants do some reusable pants for children with incontinence. I got quite a few hits for reusable incontinence pants children.

Hi guys gp refered DS to the inconsistent clinic. He was great and couldn’t understand why the last GP I saw didn’t do the same.

I’m so proud of DS on how he opened up about his problem and how it makes home feel. GP said it could take a few months until we’re seen so I’m still worried about how we’ll manage til then.

Since it’s the school holidays I’ve been trying to prompt him to use the toilet regularly. But this doesn’t seem to be working. When out shopping he had a big accident in Asda. He’d only been to the loo 30 minutes before and hadn’t had lots to drink so I don’t know why he’s producing this much urine. I have ordered some stronger protection as the current doe not hold. It makes me feel like a bad parent why is my gorgeous boy like this? He always carries a change in his bag so just went off to the toilet to sort himself out. It’s almost like he’s resigned to it now and it doesn’t seem to bother him.

Although it’s good we’re making progress with the referral I’m struggling to see how we deal with this in the meantime not to be selfish but it’s taking its toll on me. Does anyone have an experience of an older child having problems like this?

My little sister and best friend both had accidents long past normal. My sister still has some issues, not full bladder accidents though and at my friend's hen do her regular need to wee in the bushes on dog walks was brought up.
I don't think either had any investigation.
It might be worth keeping a diary of drinks, wees on the toilet and accidents so that when you get into the incontinence clinic you have the pattern of behaviour. It might help you identify some higher risk scenarios for accidents and have contingency plans.