Transitioning to secondary school

[TrioG]

Hi

I am hoping to find some reassurance from parents who have experienced or are experiencing similar worries.

My beautiful daughter left primary school last week, she’s always had an amazing group of friends at school, so much so that I’m really concerned about her moving into high school.

She decided on the secondary school we want to go too, luckily both my husband and I agreed with her decision.

A girl friend and 2 boys out of her primary class are moving up with her and she went to the transition day (without me) her grandma took her, she arranged to meet her girl friend from primary at the gates and she had a good day.

She came home and was happy with how it went, not major concerns.

A few of her close friends are going to the same secondary school( not hers ) but also a few are going to other schools - mainly alone so I take comfort in the fact that at least she knows one girl she will be going with.

But I am just concerned about the next steps.

And although she’s sad to leave her school, she wanted to see her younger friends group up, she hasn’t expressed a wish to go with her friends to the other school.

How did you all manage the transition to secondary school, how can I help her to be prepared ?

Im desperately hoping someone can advise me on the best way to support her.

I have a nephew who left school 2 years ago and he didn’t enjoy his schooling and I have a niece who left school this time who had an awful time, moved schools and was home schooled for a time. So I don’t feel I can speak to my sister about it, in the past she has advised me what my daughter should and shouldn’t wear to secondary school to stop her being bullied.

My sister and I parent very differently and I have an amazing husband who always support our daughter to feel confident and to give new things a try.

I would really like to hear your experiences and any advice you can offer.

Thank you ☺️

Unless you’ve left something major out of your post, it sounds like she’s happy with the choice of school and comfortable with the kids who are going with her? Sounds like she’s doing fine. Just continue to be positive with her about the move, talk about how exciting it is, and don’t give away that you’re anxious about it; she’ll pick up on that and think there’s something to worry about.

Thank you

She really is amazing she’s taking everything in her stride, much more like my husband than me, I am the worrier and I think my own experiences of school weren’t great which makes me worry.

Even in her group of friends, she won’t ever do something she doesn’t want to do. Sometimes I worry that she may be a little too inflexible but she always seems happy with her choices.

I know it’s difficult to say, as every school is different but can children use their phones at break and lunch times?

It sounds as though you are far more anxious than your daughter is. I hope she doesn't pick-up on this.

Every school is different. Why would she need to use her phone during breaks? She would be far better off making friends and spending te with real people than staring at a screen. Phone use in school is a recipe for disaster

Most schools now have a policy of not using their phones during school time. She sounds like she’s doing great though, respond to how she’s feeling about things, rather than the ‘what ifs’ in your head.

Just be upbeat and cheerful about all the amazing new opportunities and people she will meet. If you think she might struggle with making friends, give her some ideas for opening a conversation - my ds has a bunch of 'would you rather' questions that he can't wait to try out, and see if anyone likes the same stuff as him. He has 2 friends in his form from primary and also Sen needs so social stories work really well when he will be with new people. Try not to show any anxiety yourself. She is not you.

I would be very surprised if she is allowed near a phone during the school day. Mine are not and it will be removed if seen or heard. I think this is the norm now, even at break, and I agree with it. The kids don't need them during school.

Enjoy the summer and forget next term. What will be will be.

Thank you everyone for replying to my message, I appreciate the time you take to reply.

I was wondering about mobiles incase she wanted to use it to keep herself busy if she was alone but I think the advice of not being able to use it and be better off making friends is a valid point.

It’s been such a long time since I was at school and all the worries I remember aren’t her worries so I’m going to try and take your advice - enjoy the summer and get excited for her new adventure in a new school.

thanks again I appreciate every single response x

Y7 is a great time to make new friends and get involved in lunchtime/after school clubs. Both my children went to a different secondary to most of their primary school friends and have thrived. She can use her phone to keep up with her friends at different schools and see them at weekends/holidays. This may or may not peter out as she settles in her new school.

Thank you for your response, it’s really comforting to hear such a positive story. I know all children are different but it is so lovely to hear a positive story about moving into high school.

You're welcome 😀
One of them is still in touch with some of their primary school friends, and the other isn't. Their choice.

My DD is going to a different high school to the majority of her classmates.

She is my 4th child so I am a bit of an old hand at this!
Though we live in a different area now so a different school.

We will go into Birmingham and make a day of buying her all her school supplies and make it a lovely day.

The same for uniform buying- we will go to the nearest town and make it a really positive experience.

Have a look on your local facebook. Is there a page for upcoming year 7 parents for the school? Or a WhatsApp?

Not sure what you're worried about TBH. DD sounds like she's got her head screwed on and doesn't need to sense any anxiety from you.

Thank you for your reply, she does had her head screwed on you are right but has starteD to have doubts about high school. Shes just very unsure what to expect when goes go and I am trying to reassure her everyone will be feeling the same.

Thanks for your response, my daughter doesn’t enjoy shopping at all, in fact only this week she shared with me, she dislikes shopping but feels guilty if she doesn’t want to go as me and her dad really enjoy it and love treating her to things. She’s much happier shopping online so we’ve agreed to get her uniform online but we will need to go shopping for shoes in the shops she seems ok with this as she understands her shoes need to fit. Like you said I want to try and make this an enjoyable experience, get the shoes then get an ice cream or a small treat. I am hoping this will work for her. Do any of your children hate shopping ?

I will take a look on Facebook about groups etc that’s helpful, I’m not on FB but will go on and have a nosey for groups for her high school.