Am I being unreasonable? Husbands work shifts

[MrsBelle]

So my husband works shifts, 1 week will consist of 4 day shifts he leaves at 5am gets home at 7pm and then has dinner and goes straight to bed which is absolutely fine, the baby still gets up every 3 hours at night for a bottle and sometimes he refuses to help out night feeds when hes on days. the next week he's nightshift leaves at 5pm is home for 7am wakes up at 4pm has dinner then leaves again for work at 5pm. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable to ask for a bit of help on his days that he's working? When I go back to work I'll also be doing nighshifts too and on my nightshifts I am expected to collect the children at 8am from a parents house get them ready for school for 9am then I can go to bed. Obviously I'm on mat leave just now but the lack of help is driving me insane no help with housework etc but I'm on mat leave so I do know I should take the majority of the house work. On his days off he will help with one of the night feeds then let me sleep in until 10 then he goes back to bed until 12! I feel like we are never getting anything done and that im also doing absolutely everything when it comes to the kids and house work 🤯🤯 again it might just be my feelings and I need a reality check so that's why I'm asking for advice

Can you both change to day shifts? Shift work is awful with a family, my DH did shifts and was a zombie after nights - he couldn't function properly and I did everything pretty much too ... bad days 😔

It sounds like you are both absolutely knackered. It does make sense for you to do the bulk of the housework while you’re at home. TBH this sounds like the easy part compared to when you go back to work on nights.

Terrible life for you both. You needs to look at the big picture because you are just existing at the moment.

He is working long ole shifts - I'm sure he's exhausted! Doesn't sound like he's being very helpful on his days off though - I think I'd focus on that.

This is what I'm worried about that I'm going to have to do all this AND my nighshifts 😔 I'm a nurse in an extremely busy high pressure area and I think we had just gotten use to the older kids being at an age where even if they were home after my shifts I could snooze on the sofa and keek an eye open at them now an again to make sure they were OK or they were at school so I had until home time to get a sleep in. I'm always nights and we are genuinely like passing ships when we work. he's days or off when I'm working and I'm nights when he's off and it did kind of work for us but I'm so worried with the new baby how we are actually going to work this out. Not to mention I'm almost a 10 years older than my last mat leave 😴😴😴 I'm exhausted

Age will play a part in how you both cope with a baby and with shift work. Other than one or both of you changing jobs, I’m not really sure what to suggest.

Age will play a part in how you both cope with a baby and with shift work. Other than one or both of you changing jobs, I’m not really sure what to suggest.

This (sorry).

I think whilst you are on maternity leave and he is doing such long shifts and probably not even getting eight hours sleep, since he needs to eat and wash etc, you need to take responsibility for the childcare on his working days.

He should be doing some housework though, if he lived on his own he'd have to do his own housework so why should he get a live in maid?!

My husband does 4 on 4 off shifts, either 10am-10pm or 7pm-7am. He helps out by always doing the basic jobs so the dishwasher and bin regardless of his shifts and then does the nights with the kids on the days he's off. We just have to juggle it and I do a vast majority