Toddler refusing a bath

[24HoursFromTulseHill]

DS is 2.3 years old and has been having nightly baths since he was a baby.
Last week he had a couple of upsetting experiences in the bath and now refuses to go in it (he did a poo in the bath one night and the following night I needed to wash his hair when he was too tired and he got upset).
I don't think it's a sensory thing, because he still enjoys washing his hands at the sink and playing with water in the garden.
He now refuses to go in the bath, regardless of whether it's empty or has some water in, so we've been doing flannel washes next to the bath instead but it's been 10 days now and his hair needs another wash.
I've tried coaxing him into the shower with little success.
His nursery workers say to keep on exposing him to the bath every night but not forcing him in it, to keep the familiarity and build up his confidence.
I've tried going in with him or dangling my feet in the water with no success. New bath toys haven't worked either. Our bath is a deep roll top bath that he needs to be lifted in and out of and he's an absolute control freak so I think that's part of the issue.

What else can I try or how long might this go on for?

Just bribe him with chocolate button.

If it's just to wash his hair could you lie him on the floor and use a bowl and a jug (his head over the bowl). Sort of how you have your hair washed at the hairdresser but lying down rather than leaning back onto the sink.

Go swimming!

Could you do some things to make the bath fun again, @24HoursFromTulseHill? Make it into a ball pit, or set up a load of toys or bath crayons in there - but no water?

And until he becomes comfortable with the bath, he will be OK with flannel washes and maybe dry shampoo for his hair.

Chuck a load of glow sticks in and turn off the lights. This got my 3yo out of the bath strike.

She does have a point. Allowing a 2 year old to opt out of baths?! Just put him in.

Could you try a bath another time of the day? With the warmer weather will he got into a smaller pool on the garden?
Is he small enough for the sink? If you have outdoor space I would try that.

Bath bombs are loved by DS 2.5years old. I get the ones from Lush and he loves to pick out a different one each time (we break them up so last longer)

My two year old went through a phase of hating the bath, which he usually loves. He would scream and go completely stiff or try and climb out. He loves bubbles so we got a bubble machine which distracted him enough to sit down, and eventually he forgot about it. Could you try this? Or another toy they love?

Buy a giant tub and make it silly with bath toys in it, in the bathroom.
Or shower with him to wash his hair.

And make sure a dry face cloth is nearby to put over his eyes. How many times did I say 'look up to the sky' so the water would wash off the back of DD head!

Just get in the bath with him

we had this…similar situation

every night we tried a bath
I was ultra reassuring
we also got fun new toys
bubbles… Dd “administered”
bath crayons were a huge draw…(pardon the pun) I got Dd drawing on the outside of the bath then the inside wall still stood outside then in the bath on far side wall.

sometimes she’d only stay in for 5 seconds I went with it. Very calm very neutral / indifferent to whether she stayed or got out

the main thing was she felt she had some control
… I think my DH was just rushing and dunking her when washing her hair as he panicked and she hated it.

She loves it now and even tolerates “hair wet”

Tell him it's fine not to have a bath, his decision. But he needs to be clean. So carry on with flannel wash every day and every other day ask if he fancies a shower or a bath. But no big deal if he doesn't. Tell him you have come up with a new way of washing his hair, because of course it still needs washing. Then towel round shoulders and just wash his hair over the sink or bath. Or if you have a Belfast sink in the kitchen maybe he can squash into that?! Or maybe he lies in the bath without water and you just pour jugs of water on his hair. Lots of ways to keep him clean but with him keeping some control.

Surprised by all the comments about infrequent bathing. I was bathing my little one every day and whilst at the GP about something else we mentioned some eczema which was not clearing up despite all the usual treatments. The GP said that a child that age (18 months- 24 months) shouldn’t be having a bath every day and that a bath once a week or once a fortnight is fine. Basically we got told to stop bathing them as often, BY A GP!!!!

I'd run the bath first then put a towel wrapped around the taps add a little bubble bath and plonk him in. Give him a few toys and wash his hair. You can get a visor thing to go around his forehead to protect his eyes a bit. I think you are giving a 2 year old far too much power to refuse to do the things you say. What will be the next thing he refuses to do? I'd be bathing him every other night until he got over his issues with the bath.

Try making the bath positive every day without having a bath to help to make some positive thoughts about it. Fill a jug with warm water from the sink and let him pour it in the bath, let him pour it in any bath toys you have so it still goes in the bath, let him just play with water pouring it into the bath, between jugs, if you have any of the cups with holes in etc then let him shower some of his toys and wash them with soap then rinse it off.

See if he will help you to clean the bath another time - 'we're not having a bath but if you want to help me clean this bit I'd really like it!' With some swim shorts on so it feels a bit different to actually having a bath see if he will fill one jug with soapy water and clean the 'mess' off the side of the bath (empty bath)

You can make a mess with some coloured childrens soap smeared across the side of the bath, and wash it with a sponge and the soapy jug, then just come out again after

Trial and error but with baby steps see if you can get him to make friends with the bath before trying to have one (even if it means sometimes doing 'stuff' in the bathroom 2 or 3 times a day)

We had this for a few weeks.
No bath wasn't an option because he needed emollients etc in there.
We had a few very emotional baths. Then I got in his bath before him one day and played his toys he was stood there lookout puzzled.
I then asked if he wanted to come in as its so much fun. And he did.
Honestly never been a problem since

Our DS is going through this.... paddling pool different time of the day, like during calm time. Shower gel for bubbles, big sponges and in front of duggee with his toys to play with. Or even get a fun water table... I got one cheap from b and m and put that in the paddling pool. Then made it splashy fun till eventually he loved it.

My daughter was the same at this age! It went on for weeks- we tried everything! Then finally when her speech had developed more she was able to tell me that the bath was too hot and that’s why she didn’t like it. The temp was appropriate but think the steam and heat from it was bothering her. We switched to tepid, lukewarm baths and had no issues since. She’s nearly 7 now. Something so simple but because she couldn’t communicate it fully we had months of flannel washing and screaming near the bath.

Try getting in with him as pp’s have said, or another option could be a shnuggle bath, depends how big he is for his age, you can get toddler ones www.shnuggle.com/collections/baby-bath-tub/products/toddler-bath

Oh I missed the part about it being a weekly!

You are right, they usually don’t want to get out. We had one phase where he didn’t want to get in, but most of the time he can’t wait to get in and play with his toys especially now.

I think keeping it consistent as part of bedtime routine every night will help too OP x

What rubbish. Once a fortnight is ridiculous! If they are wearing nappies they need a daily bath.

@Nosummerontheagenda a WASH is needed every day - not necessarily a bath.
Sink wash, bath, shower, standing in a bowl.....it's just differents way of getting soap and water.